Some Thoughts

The internet is down in my apartment. You'd think this wasn't such a big deal, because I have an iPhone... but apparently I'm heavily reliant on hulu and netflix instant. I need a safe evening outside activity. Suggestions welcome.

And it occured to me the other night while watching Julie and Julia wherein I learned I still HATE Julie Powell with a passion... that's not what occured to me. What occured to me is that biographies of interesting people don't say "and then she went home and watched TV for 4 hours before falling asleep, as she did every night." Or "she was content with occasionally baking, but really preferred the convenience of ordering out for dinner."

People who LIVE don't do what I do. I think I need to start DOING more - or even not doing more and just doing something differently than I do do it. (sigh, words). My life is dictated by a schedule and an immediate plan - M-F working 9-5, Theatre occasionally, friends occasionally. Cereal for breakfast, crackers and cheese for lunch, dinner from Panera, Noodles, or Qdoba (occasionally cook). Weekly budget in place (not always followed), large events denote the change in season and the passage of time - the difference of one week to the next.

I think I'm bored. Not enough to pack up, quit, and move across the country to live off of my wits and visit every Shakespeare Festival in the country... yet... but enough that I want to repaint the apartment after cleaning it, to find new places to read a book, to find new books to read, to join a book club - or start one, to find room in the budget to start taking dance lessons again, to dance on the street (god, I want to do that EVERY DAY), to get a collapsable bike so I can go further for lunch or dinner - or even just go on walks, to go to bigger shows and INTRODUCE MY FUCKING SELF TO EVERYONE, to stop taking small jobs and start planning big ones, to make my dreams come true.

EDIT: And I want to know what my dreams are so I can make them come true. That would help.

I don't want to do all this just to be interesting or significant, I just don't want to reach the end or even the middle of my life and think "why did I just go home and watch TV? Why didn't I do more on my own, TRY more? Why was I so afraid?"

Encourage me to get out there, friends.

Also if anyone would be interested in starting the Reel Books book club - let's chat.