Melissa's Idea

Once upon a time there was a brave new world that had such people in it! There was a butcher, a baker, and a guy named Mark who didn't have a job, per se, but everyone liked him anyway! Well most people did. One person did not. That person was Jim, and Jim was kinda a douche.

Anyway, Jim had a girlfriend named Glory, who was pretty much the only person who liked Jim. Get it? Jim was the oppposite of Mark. Because everyone liked Mark but no one liked Jim.

Who cares about those guys? Let's talk about Meg. Meg was a warrior princess. Well, in her head she was a warrior princess. In real life she was a fucking SHEEP SHEARER, EW! Everyone in hero-myths are always in fucking gross jobs. You don't know what sheep shearers really have to do, do you? Castration, cleaning, not to mention the sweating, falling, tripping over bleating babies that will be EATEN just so YOU can wear a sweater in the winter like some cozy old Irishman!

Well Meg liked one sheep, Nell, and so they ran away together. Does Nell talk, you ask? You bet your ass! Nell can recite Shakespeare, mofo! They ran into the forest, and as soon as they were inside they lost the path. This was not an impulse decision on Meg's part, mind you, she'd been planning this escape for weeks. So, naturally, she'd brought enough food and clothing for a week in her ginormous skirt's inner pockets. Why was she wearing a skirt to shear sheep? Ask history.

Anyway, so Meg and Nell wandered for 3 days and 3 nights looking for somewhere new to rest their heads. They found nothing. Then they wandered for another 3 days and 3 nights. Still nothing. Their supplies were low, they fainted for succor! They cried out in loud voices (or bleated, I mean, really...) and were found by the local woodsman. Turns out they went in a circle.

Which sucks, because that WOULD mean Nell would die, right? Nope. Meg shoulda talked to her parents! They loved Nell, too, so much that in the 6 days Meg was gone they'd sold their farm and decided to bank instead. Taking people's money and lending them more was a lot more fun than chopping off sheep balls. You know?

Is it happily ever after? Where do you think their new found riches come from? Nell has to do 8 shows a week! 8 is a lot. Good thing she gets Equity Mondays, or else that would really suck. I don't think Nell likes performing "The Bards Best Soliloquies" all that much. I would though. I would rock the casbah on that shit.

This was a little messy. Thanks for playing!