Dear World,
I will do just about anything at this point for $50K.
Want me to prune your redwoods? DONE.
Want me to write a short story about your awesomeness? DONE.
Want me to have your baby? DO-Not ask me to do this until 2018 and we're good.
Want me to spike someone's drink? DONE.
Want me to poison someone's drink? Tell me to spike it but don't tell me it's poison. DONE.
Want me to seduce someone? As long as we can pull a Shakespearean switcharoo for another body. DONE.
Want me to make every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1 in one year? TRITE, but DONE.
Want me to update your blog for you? Send you nasty emails? Create your own Theatre-Going Calendar? Scrub your kitchen and bathroom? Complain to the NYTimes? Have dinner with your estranged cousin Jim? DONE DONE DONNITY DONEDONEDONE.
Want me to beg? Oh, I'll show you begging, I will beg so hard you won't even think of refusing!
2 comments:
Oh Caitlin. I wish I had $50K, I would totally hire you to do some of this stuff hahahahahaha I love you
Oh the things we'd do for $50k. Throw in benefits and a 401k and I'd make that list a lot longer.... !
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