Adventures in Boredom

I promised some posts of past adventures when none were happening... and in my final days at the good ol' Folger nothing is happening. No one comes in on a rainy day, you know!

I memoriam, I will recount my adventures in the Folger Shakespeare Library Gift Shop. They aren't many, as I was only here for 6 months (wow, I never did that math) but they were memorable, glorious times.

I suppose the first Adventure would be: The Woman Whose Soul Burned Through Her Face.
(This text is taken from the day of the occurence, from my former blog. This was not only my first weekend shift, but also my first solo flying experience.)
Barbara and Matt have left me totally alone this weekend at the Folger. After a slow morning where 5 people driftted in and out of the shop from 10-12, a HERD (and I mean that because my people-counter now reads 102 and I couldn't click that fast) swarmed in. Then the credit card machine stopped working. One minute Approved, next minute: DENIED.

So I call the Help center for the program, as I have been instructed to do, meanwhile the 100-odd people are still milling around me and I am making sales as best I can, asking them first if they are able to pay in cash, then taking down all of their info to ring it up later if they cannot. I am on hold (on the speakerphone) for about 15 minutes.

THEN they pick up and the person on the other line, Eric, was very kind and helpful. I think he was the only reason I didn't cry everytime I thought I would in the ordeal. So every so often I have to ask him to hold for a moment while I try to ring a customer up, and most are very understanding but confused. Then one woman with a haughty air and a blotchy face (so kill me I'm as vile as she is) asks me if it's possible to play her a sample of a CD she's holding. I said I couldn't unwrap it for her, but if I have it in my CD tray I could try and get to it for her in a moment. "Oh fine. Forget it. Just get back to your phone call." She tosses over her shoulder with a forced smile as she walked further into the shop. I did call after her that I was trying to get the credit card machine sorted out.

Minutes later Eric and I are STILL at it, not really getting anywhere. I'm near tears, and she comes up with some toys for her young daughter. As I had with everyone else I asked her if she was able to pay in cash at the moment. She looked taken aback and sputtered that she could not. "I have to ask you to try back at intermission (there was a matinee today), then, as I'm still having trouble with the Credit Card machine." I say as calmly as I can in this situation. "Forget it!" She huffs, snatching the toys off of the counter. "Ma'am," I say, again forcing calm, "I'm very sorry about the situation, I am doing my best to rect-" "It's not the situation, it's your demeanor that I find offensive." she sneered, and spins on her heel and is gone.

As I still had about 50 people in the store and Eric on the line I couldn't burst into tears like I wanted to. I just "uh huh" at Eric until the ordeal is rectified and I can finally get back to helping people. I did thank him profusely of course.

Now I'm running low on patience, energy, and change. It was all I could do not to let loose on whoever was left and run out the door to call someone for sympathy. Luckily the show started and the people dispersed.

Ah, good times. Turns out all I had to do was turn the system off and back on again. That woman also came back a couple of months later to get those things for her daughter. She didn't recognize me, or let on if she did, so neither did I. I got my Customer Service vindication when she tried to pay with a check and could not because she did not have ID on her (the computer system REQUIRES a Driver's Liscence #). Then she thought she lost her wallet. She didn't, thankfully, no one deserves that kind of strife. Not even Soul-burning witch-women.


There have been better adventures, of course. Customers never fail to impress or annoy, or even humor! Most customers who forget to come with someone else enjoy reading the labels and quotes off to ME instead. And I always have to laugh or else I look bad. Some few, however, are just so adorable. Such as the Australians or Canadians who ask me to count their change for them because they don't know what each one is. Or memorable people.

The Man Who Was Young at Heart:
This one family who came through the store to humor the father. Now, he was about, oh, ancient! Apparently he was the Shakespeare fan... but deaf. His wife and daughter would point things out to him twice, three times, until he either held onto the object in question to purchase or pushed it aside. All the time, he recited snatches of soliloquies... no, not recited, BELLOWED: "Eh? Whassis? OH, WHAT A ROGUE AND PEASANT SLAVE AM I. Huh? This looks good, tell your moth- BLOW WINDS, CRACK YER CHEEKS- heh heh heh." His family laughed with me, not cruelly, but giddily to see him having so much fun!


Then there are the times Celebrities come through the store. Besides the random STC actor or otherwise involved thespian sometimes people EVERYONE knows comes through.

TELLER Visits The Gift Shop
Teller (of Penn and Teller) is co-concieving this winter's production of MACBETH, so he bought up all the DVDs we had of the play. I noticed the theme and boldly asked if he'd ever seen the Animated Tales version. When he said "No!" incredulously, I pointed the collection out to him. It's $80. He immediately purchased the whole set. "I'm an easy sell, you'll find," he said. I cheekily replied, "I'll remember that!" Everyone should own and enjoy the animated tales anyway. I wasn't sure it was him at first, as he was close-up and talking, but I eyed his credit card to make sure (surruptitiously, of course) and made a mental note to call my dad after work.


Finally, there are just the plain vanilla BORED adventures like exploring the grounds or finding a random tidbit of information on a CD you always play. CD's of Elizabethan music with tracks titled "Mine Weeping Cockade" or "My love is Venereal" when it should read "Greenesleeves." Someone got creative! All in all, I've loved this store. It's been a fantastic job, and I will certainly miss the people (and the 20% discount on merchandise when I finally do sever ALL ties.)

Good times. More adventures to come!