CSmith's Adventures in DC

A Meditation on Christmas

2011-12-22T12:08:00.000-05:00

I feel like every year I force Christmas cheer to come spilling out of my eyes, ears, mouth and hands until I believe it's really there. I bake cookies, I host parties, I decorate, I tear up during movies, I sing songs... but I don't feel anything. And I REALLY REALLY want to.

I have a theory. I think that once I stopped having a Santa to believe in, once I got too old for the movies, once the religious aspect meant little, once I had to start writing out short specific Christmas lists with no surprises, once I had to start figuring out TWO sets of families presents by myself, once I had to work over Christmas breaks at more than one job (though never on the day itself, of course), that my Christmas spirit said "fuck you" and packed its bags and left.

I get giddy over twee Santa mugs and cookie jars, and insist on watching Love, Actually and Elf - but I cannot for the life of me make Christmas mean anything to me anymore. I dread the day, actually, because for me it's just another couple of family dinners - which I dislike on principle because I don't like socializing because I'm an awful person. Families are full of drama and babies and careful conversation and disappointment.

And yes, Buddy the Elf, I have tried singing Christmas songs, but only the sad ones come out (with the exception of All I Want for Christmas is You): Blue Christmas, White Christmas, I'll be Home for Christmas... There is no meaning in Christmas for me but a day not in the office and the stress of getting people something and telling them exactly what you want. I feel no Christmas warmth. Not even when my friends send me nice cards (which they do - thank you!).

So I'll keep forcing it and hoping something surfaces. I'd really hate to hate Christmas for the rest of my life. Maybe when I start lying to my kids about Santa and trying to drag their childhoods out for too long, it'll kick in again - until one of them cries and points out they asked for BELLE not JASMINE or some shit and then I'll lock myself in the bathroom until it's time to go to the in-laws. I know because that's what I did to my mother. To be fair, though, she never tried to disguise her handwriting for Santa, so how she thought I'd get to 11 and still believe is beyond me.

Maybe it was because one of our last family Christmases I got Jacob the Liar from an aunt who picked up clearance videos at the Blockbuster she worked for. I was tween. It's not a typical Robin Williams comedy. I watched it alone. I cried myself to sleep. Maybe it's because my family and I are apathetic by nature - sensitive, yes - but apathetic to widespread cheer and tradition. The only tradition we ever kept was ... nope, wracked my brain there, no traditions in my house. We went through the motions as a family, satisfied mine and my brother's corporate greed for material wealth, and ate cookies that were increasingly store-bought.

Shall I say it? I think I hate Christmas. Why do we have to have a whole month where everyone's buying things for people for no reason? When the government seems hell-bent on taking the rest of what little money we make, why spend any of it on each other on something that will simply lie forgotten somewhere? Why make lists of things you want for other people to buy you? The world's not getting married. I was guilted last weekend by my father in law for not telling him what we wanted for Christmas yet and I wanted to scream YOU KNOW US. JUST PICK SOMETHING YOU THINK WE'D LIKE. But that's rude so I apologized, hung up and cried.

There it is, then. I hate Christmas. Love the cookies and the reverence, hate the gifts and the forced socializing. Fuck if I'm not lucky to already be married so I don't have to die alone, as I am sure was the plan, given my personality.

Office Bitch

2011-11-14T16:28:00.001-05:00

So I haven't come here to kvetch in awhile. This situation kind of calls for it.

I love my office. You all know I do. But this fall has been really trying on me.

I know that though I retain the title of administrative assistant, I have taken on more duties towards my goal of becoming something more like Education Resources Coordinator. My boss knows I want this, and we've both agreed to work towards it. I do know this means I still have to do my admin duties AND I DO. Check office email, check voicemail, write up everyone's spreadsheets, do everyone's accounting, write up everything, answer phone calls, book everything, blah blah blah. Which I have started just started to loathe. I'm also now doing our monthly e-newsletter, and still managing our blog and all of our web pages, and though these sound small, they are REALLY large tasks.

Add to that the fact that - through no fault of his own - my boss has been in and out of the office all season. It's really been 50/50. And when I try to be autonomous and handle things on my own, I am more often than not told to back down. To wait. When there are deadlines.

That's something else - I am charged with knowing everything about this division, and sometimes I just cannot keep up.

Anyway so with all of these things, I can't be working on things I really wanted to do - character connections, lesson plan handout revisions, blog series articles (too much coordination time!).

So I have to pick and choose. I have to prioritize everything based on what is important to my boss first.

I let voicemails go down the list. Usually it's 3 minutes of someone asking where something is on the website - plus with a slow-ass computer, it takes FOREVER for the file to open and play. So yes. I ignore them for the most part. BAD ADMIN ASST. I do realize this.

And today it bit me in the ass. A presenter left a message on Friday that they would not be here today. When no one showed up to present, the session was cancelled, because there was no backup plan. Meanwhile I was working on assignments which took a lot of meaningless time (4 projected calendars, 1 projected income sheet, 1 message to 10, 000 teachers, and updating/creating 2 web pages). Time that could have been better spent, anyway, but time I didn't have to open and listen to a 90 second voicemail. Even I agree that doesn't really make sense.

So look. When I got here the job was basically answer the phone and book school visits. I connived to add duties because 1) I was bored and 2) I am better than that. But it's all starting to fall apart if I can't keep hold of my admin duties well, and I worry that I will be penalized - like I'll lose something that I get to do so I can spend more time checking voicemail. The thought makes me sick.

But what else would I do?

Stop Hate

2011-09-27T19:31:00.002-04:00

http://bit.ly/qeFur8

My husband is wonderful. Full text copied below:

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen service men booed, a contestant described as controversial, seen a colleague murdered, and now seen that mocking a sibling of a suicide victim are all sadly real in America if you are gay. That last article is what finally inspired me to write. In the past couple weeks I’ve seen so much negativity and vitriol aimed at the GLBT community but reading about how bad it is in schools, and how little there is to stop it angered me. My response nearly was to stew in it and just share the article when I realized we have indeed entered an era of Slacktivisim, and many of us are guilty of it. We see articles, and we share them with our communities on twitter and Facebook, we “like” causes on Facebook, and we sign digital petitions for things that the more I see do absolutely nothing. What do all of these things do other than broadcast to a community of already like minded people that you support a cause, or think something is wrong? We are fighting for change, hidden away in our homes, behind a screen, faceless. Civil rights movements of the past have had faces, faces like Martin Luther King Jr and Susan B. Anthony, faces that have all gone on to be placed as the face on currency and the heads of monuments. In the Facebook era, we seem to be all talk and no bite. Sure there are pride parades, and protests in support of gay rights, but these are all dwarfed in comparison to what was done by our predecessors and the anonymity of the internet has not only given greater voice to those who hate, but quieted the voices of the supporters, of the empathetic, of the compassionate in a world already ignoring us so much in an age where it’s those who shock that get the airtime to fill the 24 hour news cycle.

Sure, there is the recent “It Gets Better Project” and that is a wonderful tool in helping teens get through the turbulent time that is adolescence. While I am neither gay nor adolescent, I have to ask, from the perspective of a gay teen, does it? When an intelligent child with awkward social skills is mocked and called a “nerd” they can tune to the news these days and find that they can go on to be a part of a group that is now smashing atoms and reshaping our knowledge of physics. When a person is ridiculed for the color of their skin they can look to our president. When a girl is put down for her gender and told she won’t be able to be equal to her male counterparts, she can look to the myriad of female leaders, including the now first female leader of the IMF. For these people and more, it does get better, and will continue to get better; however, when a gay adolescent looks to the news and sees the stories I posted above, does it get better? When they see incredible fighting against their biology and their God given American rights, hears the hatred and ignorance that exists, does it get better? When you still find that to succeed in some places he or she might have to keep their sexual identity secret, and worse, when parents will deny their children because of their sexuality, does it get better? When they find that they could be murdered merely because they love someone that is of their same gender, can it get better?

The only way it gets better is through change, and change takes not only action but courage. We, all of us, the majority of this country that finally for the first time since gallup started polling gay marriage that support it, can help to incite change. Write a letter to your senator or congressman, if all of us took this simple step, that’s over 150 million letters saying to our elected officials that we want change (and it might even save the US postal system). Sure it’s more time than clicking like, but it says more. Speak through ballot (intelligently). Not all of us have the time in this busy world we live in, but those are simple steps we can take, that take not even 5 minutes to help change. But you can also help educate people in a positive way that can help change. Parents can not only tell their children to stop using words like “F*gg*t” and “Gay” as insults (siblings can do the same) but don’t just tell a child they can’t say a word tell them why. Teachers and school officials can enforce bullying more strictly. But the hardest of all is to educate the masses, for the dissenters to willingly listen, and for those of us who want to help be catalysts for change to calmly teach. But in all this, remember we are fighting negativity and hate, and while there will be times it seems that responding in kind is best, remaining above the fray always works better in the end.

I know I am going to write my congressman, my senator, and maybe even my president. I know that from here on out I will be more proactive about stopping hateful speech, give to charities like “It gets better”, and spread the word to others in hopes that someday it can be better.

Why I'm Happy

2011-08-10T10:26:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of reasons to be unhappy. Really, I could list them for you. I can be very very negative.

BUT

SURPRISINGLY

AGAINST ALL ODDS

I am happy. :)

I am happy that I was raised well and chose to be responsible for myself. I am happy that I went to a college that at least got me out of my home state and provided me with opportunities to make my own connections AND, most importantly, introduced me to my husband whom I don't think I could live without. I am happy that I have a job that lets me be creative with design, writing, and my personal interests, as well as has a staff of wonderful people providing me with a happy working environment. I am happy for 2nd and 3rd jobs - even if I have to do some shitty things, I meet nice people, wonderful dogs (and cats), see free shows once in awhile, and get extra money to pay down my debt faster. I am happy that I don't have a baby to take care of. I am happy that I can afford to do what I want most of the time, even if I have to budget a little to make that happen. I am happy that even if I'm not at my perfect weight, I am healthy and my husband says I am beautiful. I am happy that I have a wonderful dentist who has late hours on Wednesdays so I can go get my cracked tooth looked at right away (even though I cracked it in Belgium). I AM HAPPY that I have in-laws in Belgium who welcome us in every year we visit. I am happy that I can afford to move out of what has turned into a less-than-good apartment building back to being next-door to my best friend, and that we had the foresight to begin the process early so we'll get the space we want. I am happy that I have a handful of fantastic friends who let me be myself and listen when I am not happy, they have excellent taste in karaoke music. I am happy that my husband is doing well on his own in his profession, and I am so proud of him. I am happy that the air is cooling off little by little. I am happy for my parents being happy. I am happy I have two adorable cats, one of whom unabashedly loves me (the other is a little more reticent with her affection). I am happy that Starbucks offers $2 after 2pm with a receipt from a morning purchase so I can caffeinate my tired body. I am happy for plantains and beans. I am happy for margaritas and chocolate. I am happy for skittles and books and the internet (sometimes) and friendly people.

There. Now there is at least 1 positive post on this blog!

White Bitch

2011-07-01T09:31:00.001-04:00

It's the Friday before a holiday weekend. Things are quiet, there's a nice sunshine going on, I've kissed my husband goodbye at Starbucks where I got an espresso'ed-up frapp, I'm dressed as I always am: like a kindergarten teacher who's huffed one too many sticks of craft glue...

I get to the corner of Georgia Ave and Colesville near Panera and I hear muttered "you white bitch."

I shake my head. Who says that? I mean seriously WHO SAYS THAT? I know which guy it was, so I turn with an incredulous look on my face to see if I can tell why he said it. He is glaring. Straight into my eyes glaring. This man in a polo and khaki pants and glasses and a NORMAL goddamn man is looking straight into my eyes with HATE.

I know. I know there is no reason for it. I still go over everything in my head a million times as I cross Georgia Ave. I even look back again, but he's walking past AFI now, and I can't reexamine his eyes. I am not the only white person crossing that street, not even the only white woman. Is it my ridiculous drink (how would you know what it is)? My brightly colored dress (with rolled up leggings underneath)? My large messenger bag (that I got with gift cards from Macy's)? The fact that I'm reading The Help on my e-reader (on my iPhone, and again how would you know that)? What in the goddamn world made you pick me out of a crowd and mutter loud enough for only me to hear that in your mind I am a white bitch?

I'm not saying this is a horrible hate crime. I'm not even saying it makes me appreciate the racial tension in my book because that would be pithy and condescending and I couldn't for one second imagine being black in Jackson Mississippi in 1963. I'm saying what the fuck.

What the fuck?

It's obviously stayed with me because here I am an hour and a half later and I'm blogging about it on the blog I reserve for self-promotion and rants. I deleted my facebook post about it because honestly what can you say in >400 characters that doesn't sound wrong about this?

It stayed with me so that every other white woman I passed I assessed and determined whether or not she was a white bitch - and if she was more or less of one than me. I wondered if every other black man passing me thought the same thing - or even the black women. Do they sit next to me on the metro, sipping my frapp, reading my e-book on my phone and think "you white bitch." ?

Fuck if I don't sound like a pretentious little a-hole. I was born twenty years after the civil rights movement. I grew up knowing that people are people and all men (and women) are created equal. I listen to and tell jokes (same as everyone) but Avenue Q points out (rightly) that this doesn't make me a bad person.

Just. FUCK. What the fuck. Why me? What did I ever do to anyone, especially random normal guy on the street? Is this something we still do every day? Walk past people and say OUT LOUD "[RACE] [EXPLETIVE]" and then go about our day? We GLARE at people who have done nothing but walk 5 steps away from us EXISTING ON OUR PLANE?!?!

Sooo. I have an Etsy

2011-03-29T15:13:00.002-04:00

Look me up: linthenerd. I am selling 6 hand-made pairs of earrings that I slaved over for 3 weeks. It was actually quite thearpeutic. No one has immediately commented or emailed or purchased so I'm sad for my babies (as they are my babies). LOVE THEM! PLEASE!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/linthenerd?ref=seller_info

Day 2 without Facebook

2011-03-10T16:54:00.000-05:00

I don't miss it too much... yet. I had to cheat a little today and logged on to find my older brother's email address so I could send him something from my RSS Reader. It wasn't even useful! THIS isn't even useful!

I'm still composing my thoughts into soundbites. Wordbites?

I keep thinking my Reader App says "Alas, there are no unread items in your feed." Alas indeed.
Lesson: having rainbow nails does not earn respect. Hell, it makes people flat-out laugh at you. Lisa Frank, I feel so betrayed...

Ahhhhhhhhhh.....

Fictional Friends

2010-11-09T18:45:00.001-05:00

Last night, after about 4 months of powering through season after season back to back, Andrew and I watched The End of LOST together on DVD. For the last week I'd spent almost every evening weeping into his and my sleeves as one by one I lost people that had, somehow, become dear to me. So dear that during one particular submarine adventure I was nearly inconsolable, moaning like a dying moose. The End was as perfect an ending as I, or anyone I hope, could wish for. Simple, serene, profound, and settled. Not unlike the end of Serenity for me, or LOTR, or - in a big way - Deathly Hallows the book. Important questions were answered, good people laid to rest, justice served, good triumphant.

Even now, as I listen to the Oceanic Six theme, I am caught up in how much I loved these people.

And it scares me to think that these peoples' deaths have moved me more profoundly and more emotionally than the deaths of people I actually know and love.

Reichelt and I chatted about it briefly - and I like her perspective: that we have been with these characters on a long and emotional journey, and to let them go is painful. Sometimes finding out a loved one is gone is just a phone call in a void. (I'm paraphrasing, but i hope I have it right).

Still - my grandmother died a few years ago. Andrew's uncle - a man I'd met - died the weekend I went up to Michigan to be with the family as they kept vigil. But I was more moved by the end of all of these fictional stories than I was by the end of the long and productive lives my family has led.

I'm not sure what to do with this information. I worry that it's a symptom of my age of not connecting to live people. That I am neglecting what is there and what is true for what is - ultimately - fiction.

I feel justified, in a way, that South Park cited fictional heroes as extensions of ourselves that we should emulate, and should love because they changed us. Again, I'm paraphrasing. Badly. Ogh. And in that same vein 'Into the West' by Annie Lennox from the RotK soundtrack makes me weep not only because of the movies' ending, but because I associate those stories with my dad - who is alive - and that I've grown up.

Anyway. Thoughts for the blog. I should journal it instead...

I have awesome people

2010-07-21T22:46:00.003-04:00

Exhibit A: My friends. My friends are freaking awesome. Seriously.

Exhibit B: My family. They're coming through in a big way. Blood and new in-laws both.

Exhibit C: My co-workers. Who surprised me today with dinner at La Lomitas Dos for margaritas, which are my favorite, and have put up with the brunt of my stress this summer.

Exhibit D: The love of my life.

I'm getting married in 15 days. Let that sink in. 15 days. After almost 6 years being together, AFG and I are making it official with a freaking wedding.

Forever I've been downplaying this. It's just one more ring on my finger. It's maybe my last name changing (I am). My finances and job and living situation won't change. Everything will stay the same.

Then we bought our wedding rings. And completed the RSVP list. And had one more huge yet unimportant fight about reception entertainment. And it all sunk in today. I'm going to be freaking married. I will have officially pledged my life to someone FOREVER.

And yet that's not news to me.

He asked me recently when I knew. I said when he told me he loved my eyes. It was 3 weeks into dating and I was too afraid to tell him I loved him and he told me he loved my eyes. I knew then that if he asked me to jump through fire I'd probably do it. Though I would totally give him a death glare first. With those FOUR words I knew that I would gladly spend the rest of my life looking into his eyes and seeing my own emotions reflected back.

Are you gagging? Sorry. It's just all now sinking in.

Someday we'll have a house together that we'll turn into a home. Someday we'll have tiny hobbits with his eyes and my sarcasm. Someday we'll watch THEM marry whomever it is they love. Someday we'll hold hands on the porch and reminisce about when we met each other in that fortuitous timing of Intro to Design class.

And I'm ready for it. The next chapter of my life is beginning and I'm totally ready to face it. I'm going to try to stop worrying about the details of this event (like the fact that half of our aunts and uncles aren't coming and that we could have invited many more friends that we wanted there, or the fact that I've yet to print the place cards and have been on an emotional food binge lately...) and start focusing on the days after the honeymoon. When I'm the newest (and probably the 9th) Mrs. Griffin and I'm looking ahead to what's coming.

Bring it, life. I can take it.

Melissa's Idea

2010-05-18T15:58:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time there was a brave new world that had such people in it! There was a butcher, a baker, and a guy named Mark who didn't have a job, per se, but everyone liked him anyway! Well most people did. One person did not. That person was Jim, and Jim was kinda a douche.

Anyway, Jim had a girlfriend named Glory, who was pretty much the only person who liked Jim. Get it? Jim was the oppposite of Mark. Because everyone liked Mark but no one liked Jim.

Who cares about those guys? Let's talk about Meg. Meg was a warrior princess. Well, in her head she was a warrior princess. In real life she was a fucking SHEEP SHEARER, EW! Everyone in hero-myths are always in fucking gross jobs. You don't know what sheep shearers really have to do, do you? Castration, cleaning, not to mention the sweating, falling, tripping over bleating babies that will be EATEN just so YOU can wear a sweater in the winter like some cozy old Irishman!

Well Meg liked one sheep, Nell, and so they ran away together. Does Nell talk, you ask? You bet your ass! Nell can recite Shakespeare, mofo! They ran into the forest, and as soon as they were inside they lost the path. This was not an impulse decision on Meg's part, mind you, she'd been planning this escape for weeks. So, naturally, she'd brought enough food and clothing for a week in her ginormous skirt's inner pockets. Why was she wearing a skirt to shear sheep? Ask history.

Anyway, so Meg and Nell wandered for 3 days and 3 nights looking for somewhere new to rest their heads. They found nothing. Then they wandered for another 3 days and 3 nights. Still nothing. Their supplies were low, they fainted for succor! They cried out in loud voices (or bleated, I mean, really...) and were found by the local woodsman. Turns out they went in a circle.

Which sucks, because that WOULD mean Nell would die, right? Nope. Meg shoulda talked to her parents! They loved Nell, too, so much that in the 6 days Meg was gone they'd sold their farm and decided to bank instead. Taking people's money and lending them more was a lot more fun than chopping off sheep balls. You know?

Is it happily ever after? Where do you think their new found riches come from? Nell has to do 8 shows a week! 8 is a lot. Good thing she gets Equity Mondays, or else that would really suck. I don't think Nell likes performing "The Bards Best Soliloquies" all that much. I would though. I would rock the casbah on that shit.

This was a little messy. Thanks for playing!

30 by 30

2010-05-12T16:08:00.002-04:00

I only have 5.75 years to go! I'd better make these semi-doable.

1. Have figured out what my career focus should be
2. Produce a staged reading or three of some sort
3. Get invited to, attend, and chat people up at at least 3 opening night parties
4. Re-learn French, but more conversationally than academically
5. Sign up for and take another 10 dance classes at MYB
6. Become a Teaching Artist
7. Be an awesome wife
8. Visit at least two European countries that I haven't before
9. Visit Disneyland and Harry Potter Park
10. Cut excess sugar from my diet
11. Cook at least 4 meals a week at home
12. Send my resume to directors like clockwork ~~until one of them says "ENOUGH I'LL CAST YOU" in all caps and with emphasis on my awesomeness~~ realistic, CSmith...
13. Send a card to each of my friends on their birthdays
14. Begin and/or finish grad school
15. Get a promotion
16. Dance in the streets (no, not like that) regardless of who's watching
17. Move
18. Write a short story or one-act play
19. Travel to at least 5 other Shakespeare Festivals/Theatres in the world.
20. Stop looking at the ground when I walk
21. Say at least 3 positive things every day
22. See at least 2 plays per month, whenever possible
23. Create new wall art for my living space and for my friends
24. Be inspired by at least 1 thing per day
25. Meet a hero of mine
26. Be a hero to someone
27. Sing on the streets, regardless of who's listening
28. Get a tattoo that means a lot to me
29. Learn something new - a recipe, a craft, a fun fact - every week
30. Never Stop Setting Goals

Some Thoughts

2010-05-07T10:26:00.003-04:00

The internet is down in my apartment. You'd think this wasn't such a big deal, because I have an iPhone... but apparently I'm heavily reliant on hulu and netflix instant. I need a safe evening outside activity. Suggestions welcome.

And it occured to me the other night while watching Julie and Julia wherein I learned I still HATE Julie Powell with a passion... that's not what occured to me. What occured to me is that biographies of interesting people don't say "and then she went home and watched TV for 4 hours before falling asleep, as she did every night." Or "she was content with occasionally baking, but really preferred the convenience of ordering out for dinner."

People who LIVE don't do what I do. I think I need to start DOING more - or even not doing more and just doing something differently than I do do it. (sigh, words). My life is dictated by a schedule and an immediate plan - M-F working 9-5, Theatre occasionally, friends occasionally. Cereal for breakfast, crackers and cheese for lunch, dinner from Panera, Noodles, or Qdoba (occasionally cook). Weekly budget in place (not always followed), large events denote the change in season and the passage of time - the difference of one week to the next.

I think I'm bored. Not enough to pack up, quit, and move across the country to live off of my wits and visit every Shakespeare Festival in the country... yet... but enough that I want to repaint the apartment after cleaning it, to find new places to read a book, to find new books to read, to join a book club - or start one, to find room in the budget to start taking dance lessons again, to dance on the street (god, I want to do that EVERY DAY), to get a collapsable bike so I can go further for lunch or dinner - or even just go on walks, to go to bigger shows and INTRODUCE MY FUCKING SELF TO EVERYONE, to stop taking small jobs and start planning big ones, to make my dreams come true.

EDIT: And I want to know what my dreams are so I can make them come true. That would help.

I don't want to do all this just to be interesting or significant, I just don't want to reach the end or even the middle of my life and think "why did I just go home and watch TV? Why didn't I do more on my own, TRY more? Why was I so afraid?"

Encourage me to get out there, friends.

Also if anyone would be interested in starting the Reel Books book club - let's chat.

Feelin the need...

2010-04-21T17:55:00.003-04:00

To post.

This has been the single most dreadful, awful, horrible, terrible, heinous week I've yet suffered since leaving STC. BIRTHDAY WEEK

We all know THE BIRTHDAY is the single most busy time for me (running an event which spans only 4 hours, but 3000 guests and utilizes over 100 volunteers and staff members all over the Folger is a little daunting!) but this week events went over the top to drive me nuts:

1) a new receptionist has been transferring just anyone to me all week. Not the time to give me random calls, friend.

2) IT'S GOING TO RAIN. Which means making double the plans, double the diagrams, and double the tears.

3) I had to deal with the DC Government today. Their Special Events Specialist (title unknown, really) is the sweetest most lovely person ever. The people in the cubicles near her in Tax and Revenue? Fuckwads. Oh, I'm sorry, pardon ma francais. But truth. I don't like going to them to ask for their stupid signature on something I don't want to do anyway, but I hafta because of their stupid rules. Don't talk to me like I'm 3 and then complain about me IN FRONT OF ME and then SHUSH ME. Uh uh. I will slap you with my broken umbrella right on your face mole. That hairy ugly finger-print sized thing on your jaw. TARGET AQUIRED PEWPEW!

4) IT'S RAINING TODAY. Ugggggh.

5) Docents can't take care of themselves. I'm their caregiver. I cannot be a mother to them this week and yet... how would they function with no one to blame for their misunderstandings?

6) Everyone who's doing a program with us in the next 3 months chose TODAY to email or call me. (Maybe I'm exaggerating. You decide).

7) No one in the main building tells me anything. Le whine.

But then... my boss goes and gets me flowers on his lunch break to thank me for putting up with it all. It actually made it worth it. I am appreciated! I love my boss (oh, I am tearing up... STOP!)

And it could always be worse. I could have a horrible disease or be a real teacher with a violent unruly child forced upon my classroom. Or I could be without a wonderful boss or friends. Truth.

Time for wine, cat cuddling, and Dr. Who on my Instant Netflix Wii-wonder!

Catching Up with ... ME!

2010-02-24T12:02:00.002-05:00

Just so you know, I'm never going to get around to writing about my travels last fall. I think we can safely classify those adventures as "happened" and "moving on" and also "fond memories"...

It's starting to smell like spring! Did you notice? There's snow expected tonight, but I swear it smells like spring out there. Of course, spring smells like fresh mud, wet grass, and other damp but ALIVE things... but it's so much better than the cold bite of winter's non-smell.

Josh Groban is singing "February Song" to me right now. It's because he and I share a birthday. A birthday which is THIS SATURDAY! And which Andrea MULLEN iS COMING TO DC FOR!!! Excitement is uncontainable.

The Secondary Festival (or, as I like to call it: ONE WEEK OF UNBRIDLED ADOLESCENT ADRENALINE) starts on monday. I couldn't be more excited! I love this time of year.

Look at me! I'm being positive! On my blog! WHOA!!!UPSIDEDOWNWORLD

Actually, I'm trying to be more positive everywhere. Except I just can't be a positive pedestrian. I don't know what it is about other pedestrians, cars, trains, buses, street lights, dog poop, and other such things - but I just can NOT be positive while I'm walking. I'm actually rather surly. :E <-me with fangs.

Anyway - be happy!

Unpopular Vote

2010-01-28T11:39:00.003-05:00

Can I say something here that people won't get mad about? No? I really feel I gotta. So, bear with me, and know it comes from a happy heart and a loving mind. :)

The Helen Hayes Awards and Theatre Community in General in DC
For the past few years (comparatively few, I know) I have worked artistically and, for a time, administratively within the smaller theatres in DC. I have worked administratively in some of the larger theatres. I have also been an avid audience member and theatre enthusiast.

For all of these reasons it saddens me, utterly, horribly, terribly saddens me that the theatre community is so divided over its "boundries" between independant and commercial theatre.

Granted - I used to be of the camp that was angered over the HH judges apparent over-looking of small, edgy, low-budget theatre, because it was my work and my friends and colleagues' work that was being over-looked. But in the past couple of years I've started realizing that it's not about the theatres (not always) it's about the worlds being created, the people we're reaching, and the stories we're telling in what way that appeal to critics and judges.

Granted, too - the Helen Hayes awards are not based entirely on talent, of course not, there are plenty of politics being considered in the judging. But for the most part, can we agree that the judges attending shows to rate them are not always "theatre people" with a knowledge of how things work in "our" world?

The work that gets recognition is work that touches each audience in some way - even if just to make them say WOW. Work that breaks some kind of mold, or goes above and beyond. The work recognized this year did that. Small and Large companies alike were recognized for their efforts to create new worlds, or re-imagine old ones. And that is really what the goal of theatre should be - to create a new world for the audience to inhabit with us for however long we can. And if that world convinces them, if it touches some part of them, then we've done our job. Theatre is not about the artists, or the places it gets done, or really any individuals recognized this year - it's about the audiences we reach. Without an audience, we really are just masturbating in a dark room.

But the awards are not masturbatory (are the Academy Awards?). Individuals and companies who go above and beyond their means and the norm should be recognized for their achievements. I think of it in this blasphemous way: The World was purportedly created in seven days, and we set aside one day a week to recognize that; Theatre Artists create worlds, too, but it takes months and months of planning and communication, rehearsal and tech, to accomplish it - so we get one day a year to recognize Theatre Artists who created worlds and people in the past 12 months that reached their audience.

I just wish that we as a community were not so catty about the nominees and winners. It's a big deal, a REALLY big deal for most of those nominated, and I'm seriously sad when I read snarky comments or snide asides that de-value the nominations. There's a good mix of big and small theatres recognized this year, as well as the new and old. Is there ever going to be a time when we're just happy for those who were nominated because we support them as artists and colleagues and not as the competition? Can't we just be proud to have such a diverse and influential theatre community at a time when the arts are deemed less important to schools (and thereby our future audiences)?

Anyway, I'm just bummed about the negativity. I've seen a lot of positive, but it's the negative that gets noticed. I know that we can't all agree on the nominations, and I'm not saying that I do, but we can support our theatre community by NOT bitching and sincerely being happy that we still have these awards, which don't validate ourselves, but validate us to our AUDIENCE. And for those who feel overlooked, we can support them by seeing where they can improve and working together to make that happen.

So just be nice. Thanks.

Dear 2010 (thus far), A Love Note

2010-01-27T10:56:00.002-05:00

I love you, 2010, I really really love you. LOVE!

So far you have been 99% awesome. I don't know if it's too soon to say it, but I'll shout from the rooftops, I LOVE YOU, 2010!

Work is busy, and I'm being incredibly responsible (except for ONE large ball drop that was easily remedied with the help of future-husband) and I get even more to do! I'm writing for the education blog! Wheee! Nerddom!

I've got projects lined up and auditions to prepare for and friends whom I love unto death. When in 2009 did Reichelt and I get to get drunk on white wine and watch Fairy Tale Theatre blearily into the night? When in 2009 did I get to bake lots of things from scratch THAT PEOPLE LOVE and get to help Alie make cinnamon rolls - which was a pretty complicated recipe, ok? When in 2009 did I get to randomly see Becca in DE?! BEST YEAR SO FAR EVER! Or it will be when I take a trip to NYC to see Mullen's new digs!

I'm getting married this year, I got a fresh new haircut, I'm ready for the next 11 months! Bring it, 2010! Let's run in a field together in Slow Motion!

PLUS! BONUS, 2010! Andrew got a Helen Hayes Award Nomination!! His first ever! He works so hard every day to make it possible for worlds WORLDS to be created in a matter of days. The actors rehearse for weeks, the set is built for weeks, the costumes are built for weeks and in DAYS Andrew's created a whole new way of seeing it all in sexy sexy lighting. And FINALLY he is recognized for his achievement! So, thanks, 2010! I'm giving you the badge early. You can hold onto it until a shit storm comes along - but I don't think it will!

Dear 2009 (an obscene rant)

2009-12-31T12:26:00.004-05:00

Fuck you. Fuck you, 2009, Fuck you so hard fuck you.

Let's start at the end, shall we? Where you smite my fiance and I with illness JUST SO so that the timing is such that The Holidays and the Great Wedding Caper aren't fucked - but me seeing my family is. Sure, we get to do the 20 hours + driving for a CHRISTMAS WEDDING IN MICHIGAN, but the 4 hour round trip to Delaware? fucked.

Now let me take you back, back back in time to January, when it was fucking cold and I had to take the metro AND a fucking bus to the virginia rehearsal space for that show I was in. Remember when you fucked me ON NEW YEAR'S DAY?! WHEN THERE WAS NO BUS!? REMEMBER THAT!? Fuck you, 2009.

Remember when no one saw that show in February? I mean, my parents, their parents, my boss - but did anyone see it? No. And not many liked it. Fuck you, 2009. OH YEAH and then later that company folded, which really sucks for them, but marginally also sucks for me because now I have an obsolete theatre on my pretty sad resume? Fuck you, 2009.

Remember planning and laboring over the Birthday at work? Sure everything went off just fine, but that month SUCKED. Fuck you, 2009.

Granted - summer was awesome. So... props to 2006 on that one for the reason this summer was good. Fuck you, 2009, you get NO credit. Because you killed, like, 8 celebrities this year and at least 3 of them were that summer. And they were good people, too.

I will also give you late October-early December. All well and good, scheduling goes off without a hitch - but, what's that 2009? CSmith's going broke!? FUCK YOU, 2009!!!

And now we come to today when, after a week of holidays, road trips, events and work, I now have to postpone seeing MY FAMILY. AGAIN, 2009. Fuck you.

Dreams!

2009-12-12T08:53:00.002-05:00

I don't know if it was the 10 hours of sleep, or the freshly baked test batch of cookies I ate beforehand, but I finally had a dream I can remember! Unfortunalement, it was scary...

I was in a play that was a series of short scenes having nothing to do with each other. In my scene I was interviewing a teenage girl to dogsit for me, and her mom came with her. At the end of my scene I brutally murdered them. Like hacking limbs and stuff. At first it was all stage magic, of course. Later another character was introduced who looked like Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd and who was forcing me to commit these murders. He slew a very Mrs. Lovitt-looking lady onstage one night, which seemed like part of the scene, but it wasn't. The scene started happening in real life almost Groundhog Daily. I would invite the girl and her mother to an apartment, interview them, and then have to stand by while Johnny Todd killed them. There was also some underlying sexual tension where I had to pretend (for my life) that I was in love/lust with Johnny Todd. at first in this part it was a Summit Hills apartment where I was still living with Berry and Julie, but it became swankier as the dream went on. It was also still the same girl and mother team, but sometimes there'd be a little sister, too. And I knew this family - I babysat for them when I was a teenager. REVEAL Johnny Todd's past... a group of creepy actors (?) unexplained who travel around with Johnny Todd. Lovitt-lady is there, a young boy, an older boy, and a skinny pretty boy called Trinculo. Johnny Todd kills off everyone in the group one by one except Lovitt-lady, but Trinculo runs downstairs to a shower room to hide - it was me, I was Trinculo - a girl disguised as a boy. JT found me anyway, and insisted I come with him. I tried to leave a clue on the ground as he dragged me away, but he returned it to me in our new apartment saying something like "nice try."

Why Adapt Shakespeare?

2009-12-08T10:31:00.001-05:00

Hello Friends, in my continuing quest to understand the big Shakes, I come to you with another question:

Why adapt Shakespeare?

Shakespeare himself adapted writers like Holinshed, Ovid, Marlowe, and more; but he didn't exactly attribute them. Nowadays we adapt his work to our own modern understanding, and we still put his name on it. Why? They're good new plays or movies or songs on their own, why do we need to attribute the work to his? Marketing? Guilt? Status?

Does it help an audience if they watch Wishbone (what's the story!?!) compare his own adventures to that of Romeo, Prospero, or Prince Hal? Does it reach more people if Katarina's mommy issues are delivered up front, and Petruchio gives her a guitar at the end to some kicking ska? How is Synetic able to get across so much of the text we recognize without saying a word? How awesome are Rufus Wainwright's song renditions of sonnets? Is all of this still "Shakespeare"?

As playwrights, actors, and educators - what about Shakespeare makes him so ripe for adaptation?

My personal belief is that there are two surviving facets of Shakespeare's work: his words and his characters. And that they can be independant of each other. His words are incredible poetry, and wonderfully descriptive, creative, and moving words. But his characters are living, breathing people with human emotions and human experiences - and they're so complicated that we're still trying to figure them out and/or reimagine them today. His words, on the other hand, have been almost mutilated by pop culture. Case In Point: A fashionable shoe store at Union Station (Shoe Woo) uses a quote from Titus Andronicus to advertise their wares ("she is beautiful, and therefore to be wooed..."). A quote which, in the play, is spoken by a rapist. Context?

Not even a year ago I said this: "Shakespeare’s language is what is important in his work. It is important to see and enjoy the plays, but if you update his language all you’re left with is the plot and some jokes. The plots are unoriginal, and are adaptations themselves – and who’s to say that Shakespeare isn’t adapted ALL THE TIME! It’s done – but what is important about preserving his plays is to hear that language in use, and to understand what a true understanding of language and human existence is." And now I'm not so sure I feel that way. I don't know that the language is vital to the experience anymore. Especially after reading 'Shakespearean Afterlives' (http://www.amazon.com/Shakespearean-Afterlives-Characters-Life-Their/dp/184046643X).

Thoughts? Answers? Shakespearean Adaptation is a special passion of mine - so I'm very interested in response. Why do we adapt Shakespeare?

Twilight Can Suck It

2009-11-25T13:35:00.002-05:00

Here are the best parodies I've seen so far! Did you read yesterday's essay by me? I held back a lot of my bile, promise!

Twilight Fans Get Punked

Skyler Stone MySpace Video

Evil Slutopia: If the New Moon Hype is Making You Want a Vampire Boyfriend...

http://www.geekologie.com/2009/11/for_you_twihards_three_wolf_mo.php

Video Games - E3 2010 - Comedy

http://www.ultracondensedmovies.com/2009/07/twilight.html

My Essay, by CSmith 11/24/09

2009-11-24T22:43:00.001-05:00

Dear Internets - I know you're truly swamped with Twilight/New Moon/Team Edward junk right now, so my pithy statements mean nothing in this black hole of l33t commented information. [sidebar - l33t? I am so sick of seeing writin lik dis u no y? cuz its fuckin TRASHY. grow up, internet] I feel, however, that I must write for 2 reasons. 1) I miss writing essays the night before they're due and totally loving the outcome anyway and 2) I have some super strong feelings about literacy and behavioral effects. So, I give you my non ALA-formatted statements.

The fantasy genre has by turns entertained, educated, and emotionally connected to modern readers. The last decade has seen a boom in young adult book consumption due to international success story Harry Potter, and - due to a very successful movie adaptation - The Lord of the Rings. Fans of these books joined their heroes on cross-country adventures and coming-of-age friendships. Readers felt a kinship to the awkward Potter, who had to grow into his destiny and even his own history in 7 short adolescent years; and/or forged a bond to the intrepidly courageous Frodo (or Sam, for some of us) who put his entire life behind him for one world-saving endeavor. Authors Rowling and Tolkein created rich mythologies, varied cultures, and dimensional characters and relationships within these pages, leaving no stone unturned and no law of their (created) nature broken.

Stephanie Meyer's Twilight "saga" has also been wildly popular for the last couple of years. The forbidden romance between the real world and unreal is irresistible for authors, since it can be both imaginative and passionate. Vampires especially have experienced a re-birth through Meyer since her creation of the Cullen clan reinvented* the "vegetarian" vampire to ones who consciously choose not to attack humans and hunt wild animals instead. The romance between "everygirl" teen Bella Swan and Edward "emo-death" Cullen is one of limits both social and magical, and readers are inevitably forced to wonder for the umpteenth time "How will a vampire-human relationship work?"

Unlike Tolkein and Rowling, however, Meyer uses neither imagination nor credible detail. Where Rowling paints vivid main characters and relationships, Meyer recycles words, emotions and plotlines over 4 books - not to mention the first-person self-deprecation of Bella's character. Frodo experiences doubt in his quest to destroy the Ring, mostly substantiated by the Ring itself - but never is it as whiny and truly fishy as Bella's. Her self-loathing is as credible as that of that person who enjoys constant reinforcement, "No, seriously, you're really pretty. I love your haircut, stop saying you hate it. etc"

Some might say that it's unfair to pit the 17 year old Bella against the characters from Potter and LOTR. I will say only that Harry faced down Voldemort at 17. Faced certain death. AND got the girl. With really only one book of emo whining (OOTP) and Merry, who started with the maturity level of a college freshman, becomes a rousing leader in recruiting the Ents to war and insists on fighting by Eowyn's side against the Witch King. /drops mic/

I could go on and on about Meyer's terrible writing style, but I'll just wrap up with this: an Author creates the rules of the world they're writing about. She built her mythologies over 3 books. Then promptly obliterated them in the 4th. Totally. Forgot. or Ignored. Everything. /drops mic/**

Briefly, let's look at substance. Specifically, relationships since there's just too much ground to cover. (I swear I could write a friggin' book as long as Eclipse felt about how bad Twilight is...)

In all three books, relationships take a main seat in the action.

Harry forges friendships, frenemyships, and romantic relationships with the other students, teachers, and families in the Wizarding world. His home life is devoid of love as his aunt and uncle give him only the basic necessities of survival, and sound abuse besides. The overriding theme of his story, the "life lesson" if you will, is that love is the most potent, powerful thing in the world. In the fight against evil, all efforts would come to naught if Harry didn't have Ron, Hermione and Ginny at his back, and Dumbledore's, Sirius's, and his parents' sacrifices for his own life. While he can sometimes be a dick (again OOTP), there is something about Harry's charisma and deep emotion that inspires those around him to bond with him and work to protect him, and through him their own world.

The Fellowship of the Ring is not one group of friends, but a series of friendships (likely and unlikely) and a similar "common good" mentality that bands the questing group on a mission together. Races at odds with each other (elves and dwarves, men and halflings) are working against a common enemy to restore balance to the world as they know it - and so lose their racial biases in the process. Gimli and Legolas's unlikely friendship is the best example of this - they reluctantly join the Fellowship each to represent his own people and end up being one of the best orc-slaying teams on the field. It's not only unlikely friendships in the Fellowship, though, there are also familial friendships like Sam and Frodo. Frodo says it himself - without Sam, there would be no Frodo. Without Sam, the quest would have ended almost as soon as it had begun after Frodo slipped from Boromir's hands. Without the love Sam poured out into Frodo, into the void the Ring was leaving for that love, Frodo could not have succeeded. Also, Gandalf's sacrifice (my hands are starting to hurt). I'll let Megan chime in on the Hero-Mythiness of it all - but that's about as much as I want to cover.

Twilight is about Bella's relationship to Edward and Bella's relationship to Jacob and Bella's relationship to... Bella. The driving force of feeling is her almost destructive love for Edward. There is no greater good to be seen, except that the Cullen's are, like, OK for vampires. They're ok people who happen to be uber rich. Done. Families aren't even that important to the story. The Cullen Clan keeps saying things like "we're a family, family first, etc" but they all sort of melt into the background of what could have been an interesting story. Jacob's werewolf clan? Totally a boys' club of testosterone and macho (even that one chick who joined the clan and ruined everything or something). Bella's family? Mom ignores her because it's convenient and Dad's awkward so it's ok to toss that all out the window for a guy. Because that's really all it's about - there are evils and conflicts and dark stuff, but all of it takes a backseat to the sparkling godliness of Edward. And whoops! all conflict resolved by the last page anyway. Hooray! No one had to die! (Seriously? I can suggest a knockoff or two...)

Now, I'm aware that not everyone who read LOTR participates in LARP quests, or speaks elvish, or calls their future children hobbits because they will exhibit the characteristics of these little people. I'm aware that not everyone who read the big HP now owns a digital wand with which they practice spells (swish and FLICK!) or worships satanic demon gods (what?) or throw Wizarding World dress-up parties. I'm aware that anything that gets people, especially young people, reading and enjoying reading is inherently a "good thing."

HOWEVER - I believe that the content and substance of what young people read affects them. The magical worlds of HP and LOTR take a supporting role to the substance of the books - to a look at healthy, life-giving relationships and the power of Good and Love. I worry that the content of Twilight - an impressionable, self-loathing teenage girl finding meaning by falling in love with an emotionally unstable and overprotective pair of young men - is unhealthy for the youth community to read. What sort of message does it send? Besides wait until marriage to have sex (AT 18!), what does Twilight teach its readers about love, friendship, and life? That nothing else matters but the one you believe you love. That you're only worth what the one you love tells you you are. That well-meaning friendships don't mean anything with the one you love. That family doesn't mean anything unless it's the one you love's family who just wants to protect you. I don't think that every teenage girl out there who reads Twilight will immediately give it up to the brooding kid in the corner - but many will emerge from the reading experience with very skewed, unhealthy ideas about what love means. And will give it up to the brooding kid in the corner.

In conclusion, I wish Twilight only the best movie success. Whatever. But for the love of God - how could we ban HP from public libraries and now be teaching this drivel in school? I need answers. Also, an A on this paper. Thanks.

*reinvented - see totally stole the idea from every vampire romance before her.

** sorry, I learned persuasive debate techniques from rap-offs. Yo' momma!

I've been Adventuring!

2009-11-19T12:26:00.005-05:00

Remember when I dangled that tantalizing list of weekends (in the midst of a bitch) where I was GOING PLACES and DOING THINGS!?

A wise Megan once said "I feel like a journal is a lot like God. You don't use them unless you feel really crappy." (and then a wise Gwen quoted it, too, so a wise CSmith will now spread the word full forward).

I have been adventuring, I have been! So here's my tale:

Tale the First: A Wedding in Boston
It begins with an early flight. The shuttle picked me up at a very early hour - I slept on my couch in my clothes not wanting to miss it! The flight itself was uneventful and THEN I was in Boston! Andrew and I met up at the airport and headed for the.. shuttle to the T. It was a very lucky thing that I was traveling with Andrew, since the metro systems everywhere bow down to his presence and arrive when he does. 2 transfers on 3 lines only took us 40 minutes. I mean. That's good!

We got to the hotel, found Matt and Alie and got our stuff all moved in. I was to stay with Alie and the Bridesmaids that night while Andrew stayed with Matt and the men. (So generously, we were given our own room after the wedding!) The day was a whirwind of last minute arrangements and lunch and rehearsing the ceremony. We were told to walk VERY slowly. That's about what I remember. That and Matt cracked up a bit during the rehearsal. :)

Then it was the Rehearsal Dinner at Legal Seafood at the hotel. The speeches were incredibly sappy (I know I gave one) and the food - now, I'm not usually one for seafood but this. was. MMMMMmmmm. So good. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it! Yes, in fact - lunch, then I will return to story.

Mmm - where was I? Oh yes, the wedding!

We awoke bright and early to get our hair did by Alie's aunt. My ponytail got curled. Then we waited and waited and waited until 3 or 4pm when we could finally put our dresses on because the photographer had arrived! Off to the tiny chapel (so adorable) for the wedding itself - limo ride = awesome - and we... waited downstairs for the upstairs to be ready. Oh - didn't say before - Alie looked so beautiful in her wedding dress. I know that's a given, but awwwwww. WEDDING then RECEPTION then SLEEP then back home. That's about how fast it went. I remember dancing, and I remember eating sweet potatoe something and delicious cake but beyond that... I don't remember.

Tale the Second: NYC!
This tale begins on a dark and rainy night. It's mid-October, just after business hours, and your intrepid traveler is waiting for the Megabus with what must be the passed-over cast of GREEK and some very rude people with some very rude umbrellas. Finally, the bus arrives and 6 hours later (not 5 as advertised) CSmith is dans NYC!

Unnnfortunately, Kirsten and Andrea were having a little trouble with the subway - ie: IT SUCKED so yours truly braved the big apple and tried out the subway on her own following Kirsten's VERY SPECIFIC directions (because you just shouldn't be vague about the subway). I MADE IT! TO THEM! THEY FOUND ME! I DIDN'T DIE! That night...

Apparently Mullen had a harrowing journey to her hostess's place. me, not so much! Kirsten's flat was close and cute - all of the bedrooms in this small Brooklyn apartment were lofted, so it was really neat and really surprisingly spacious. After a few giggles, it was sleep.
While Kirsten was at work, Paradis and I explored the town's sights. Radio City Music Hall, Rockefeller Plaza, annnnd the NBC store. I met up with Callie Kimball (missssss herrrrrr) at NBC and did a little catching up and NYC checking up! Mullen met us there later and we bought out the store. OK, no, but I did get enough to get a discount on my The Office tote...

MIKA CONCERT (after a traditional NY pizza and a traditional half-our-group-got-lost) Awesomeness. Followed by midnight Karaoke in a tiny Korea-town near Penn Station.

Day 2: Meet TWOOD!for coffee, and Where the Wild Things Are. Mullen and Paradis wave goodbye. :( Angelyn and Kirsten and I hang and then Kirsten and I see Angela's Mix Tape courtesy of new friend ROSY! (Rosy was also a bridesmaid in Tale the first). It was a very cool show, too!

Then it is my turn to leave. :( I'm no longer afraid of New York! I could totally live there now if I didn't mind the anti-spaciousness and the crowdedness, and the poor-ness (what's different? Space.)

Tales the Third (Renn Faire & Halloween), Fourth (DE), Fifth (Detroit) and Sixth (Staunton) to follow!

How to tellyour Bird's Gender

2009-11-03T14:53:00.003-05:00

Step 1: Get the bird at a young age, from a breeder who is "pretty sure" it's a male.
Step 2: Love the bird. Name him Bill. Laugh at his antics.
Step 3: Repeat Step 2 for 14 years.
Step 4: Notice that Bill is acting oddly, but think not much of it.
Step 5: WITNESS YOUR MALE BIRD LAY EGGS - THEREBY PROVING IT'S FEMININITY
Step 6: Have a really difficult time referring to Bill as "she"

Oh, yes, this all actually happened. Gruesome details ensue - but I will white them out.

All last week Bill puzzled me with being quiet (this, from a bird KNOWN by our neighbors) and trying to cuddle into my hair. Odd, yes? Bill's an odd duck - er - Quaker Parrot.

Yesterday Bill was cuddling on me, as usual, when I noticed an odd wetness on his rear. Flipping him over, I saw that it was crusted poo. Lots of it. This being a health concern, I called Andrew (still in Detroit) who told me to call his dad. The dad tells me it sounds like diarrhea, which can be really bad for birds - so to feed him Kaopectate and get some antibiotics from his store. I return from the store to find Bill's rear has swollen grotequely and is now oozing blood. Scared, I call up the dad again, who has no idea and tells me to see a vet.

The closest vet doesn't see birds, but sets me up with Best Friends in Gaithersburg who can see me in 4 hours. At this point, I know I'm not going to work today. I return Bill home, shut the cats in the bedroom, and weep quietly, worried about our little green man. I call the dad once more just to make sure there aren't other options, but he's got nothing - unless, his employee says, Bill is a girl trying to lay eggs.

Bill is 14 years old, and has been Andrew's pet since childhood. Though we've never had the sex confirmed, it seems we're about to be told.

I call an avian pet store to check - who says that it is indeed what it sounds like - Bill's laying - and the best thing to do is to get him ... er... her into a very warm room and to keep HER calm. So I run some hot water in the bathroom, turn on the heat lamps, and waited. Didn't have to wait much longer for the first egg-thing to splat next to my foot, and soon after that a second on the counter. (Bill's not a very careful momma).

The vet (we did keep the appointment) said that somehow, for some reason, Bill... er... Belle? suddenly felt the need to lay because she was stimulated sexually. We've always cuddled her on our chests, fed her from our plates and ... yes... mouths, and maybe aren't the best at keeping a regular schedule at home, and all of these together somehow (magically?) triggered a response from the bird. Laying is very difficult (it's like friggin childbirth!) and if a pet bird thinks it must lay, then she will continue to produce eggs until she damages her own organs, drains her bones of calcium, or hurts herself some other way. Bill is now on a hormone regimene, must be kept in the dark for 12 hours a day (12 hours of light as well), and can no longer be cuddled below the shoulders. Hopefully this all shall pass and the next half of Bill's life with us will be less eventful but no less loving.

I'll tell you, though, I was TERRIFIED. It was... gruesome and horrible! There are pictures, but I will not share them.

Bi-monthly bitch-fest

2009-10-22T19:54:00.002-04:00

Do I even keep trying?

Things keep happening and I keep not knowing about them. I hate Hate HATE how stuff in this town works mostly by being in the right place at the right time. I support theatres, I see their shows, I pay what I can and spread the good word of mouth, I upkeep my internet socialality, I occasionally step out with people who remember I exist BUT WHAT AM I MISSING?!

Granted, for 2 weekends I had responsibilities that kept me from volunteering for projects for a company I really want to work for, and even kept me from seeing the shows, THIS TIME. But everywhere else I see the same people getting asked in again and again and I'm still struggling to be seen. Readings are all I can even hope for this season since everything's cast and I missed the cut.

So just tell me what I'm doing wrong. I can change. I want to change. What I don't want to do is metro all the way across DC for drinks (which I can't afford). That's about it. So go on. Tell me what I'm missing. PLEASE.

Booked Up Weekends!

2009-10-06T16:41:00.003-04:00

Well, Andrew's back in Detroit.

Plus side, I'll see him at Matt and Alie's Wedding Extravaganza this weekend, but we'll be in seperate rooms until after the two are married. Ah well, at least I get to see him.

After that it's no more Mandrew until after Thanksgiving. And I don't know if I can afford another impulsive trip this year.

I am, however, planning an impulsive-ish trip to NYC next weekend to see A$, Kirsten, Kosmo, Angelyn, Julie, and maybe even a couple more! Should be quite fun. We're seeing MIKA next Friday night, but Friday day and Saturday are all up to us! It's bound to be awesome.

After that, it's another Renn Weekend with Reichelt and Lee! Dress-up Edition!

And after that, Halloween.

And after that, I'm going home to DE to see my family and Becca and maybe even Mrs. Emmons! I feel like I never see Becca enough...

And after that... we'll see if I have funds for an anniversary weekend in Detroit.

And after that, Thanksgiving.

And after that, Andrew's home! Things will finally slow down at work, and we'll plan our whirlwind tour of Family Visits and Wedding #2 (Anto and Emily) for the holidays!

But by then it'll be ass-cold so I can wait. :)

meanwhile, read up on http://drownmybooks.blogspot.com if you want to be up-to-date on my nerdiness.

Seeing a lot of theatre, lately. SEEING a lot of it. It's good to take a break to see all the people I really should be keeping better in touch with (like when Dre Bacchus visited for a day? That was AWESOME!) but I miss acting. I'll just live vicariously through GLEE until then. Don't Stop Believin'! (That's our wedding song, now, btw!)

French Bulldog Can't Roll Over

2009-09-04T15:22:00.001-04:00

French Bulldog Can't Roll Over

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Coolest Day

2009-08-25T15:30:00.002-04:00

All things tentative, but I don't worry about jinxing them - if they happen they do, if not then they don't. Right?

A) After reading and "commenting" on two novels for Bob (my boss), he's suggested that I might write book reviews for the monthly educators' newsletter that goes out to the country from the Folger. This is SUPER tentative, but also... pretty freaking cool! The work is already half-done for me, no?

B) http://voices.washingtonpost.com/celebritology/2009/08/video_--_twits_wisdom_from_did.html
How funny is that? Pretty funny. And I've put my name in to be a reader for future episodes. How cool is that!?

C) Tonight Andrew and I are shooting a "photo story" with Matt - we're going to break up IN SIX PICTURES (don't worry, it's acting!)

D) I was able to eat only ONE small slice of pizza at today's department meeting.

E) I am in a good mood today!

Annual August AAAUGH

2009-08-17T11:46:00.004-04:00

It happened this weekend - somehow I think it always has something to do with Longacre Lea tech and ending up on that picnic table on a break and a trigger being let off next to my head...

Last month it was an email on my cell phone from a ridiculous superior, this year it was a conversation about which Theatres to work for.

At this time last year I was all weepy and inspirational and GUNG HO about pursuing this acting thing. I'm still moving forward on that momentum but I have to look at the past year and ask what all that get-go got me. PRO - I was in a show with a company I hadn't worked with before, and at least I had a good time when all was said and done. CON - that company is now on hiatus, and I didn't get to know the Artistic Director who will be in charge when they come back. PRO - I got to be in MYTHapp with Rorschach this summer, even though I was committed to Longacre lea (big pro!). CON - no offense, but our entry wasn't exactly the highlight. Not that it should have been but I seem to have the power to be in the ones no one is particularly excited about.

And that's it. I'm heading into this new theatre season with the possibility of auditioning for some people, and the missed opportunities of others, and just about nothing left for the year besides those chances.

I'm still all get-up-and-go about the auditions, but I'm very very worried. I am on a time limit as an actor because in about 10 years I want to take a trip around Europe then pop out some hobbits (not at the same time). in 8-10 years if I am not estabilished as someone people like, know, and want to work with - what have I achieved with my acting career? Once the hobbits are old enough, I'd want to come back to acting, but what will I be coming back to? Community theatre productions as Lady Montague? Auditioning from scratch? What will my resume say that would convince people to hire me? What will I be proud of?

Sigh - and this always seems to happen in front of Michael Glenn (luckily for me), who pointed out that Kathleen loves me (I am the only recurring LL character in the past few years besides her boys) and, if nothing else, he appreciates me being around. Though Glenn pointed out that my opinion was asked for and respected throughout the process, so maybe I'm just not seeing it. And I look back on the summer and I see that maybe I don't make a huge difference to the production, but at least the people care about me and I for them. And that's what I love best about Theater is that you get the chance to form a family - and no other experience has been that to me yet.

Now, it is both better and worse if they are a family, because then how do you say goodbye when it's over? The end of Radio Golf was wrenching for D because it was a family experience. Gut, Heart and Mind wrenching.

So - I'm going to try to stop freaking out and enjoy myself. There are good companies to try to work for, I've got that sorted out, and I have to stop being so timid. If I want to get hired, I have to be bold.

Oh, come see the show, we start this week and go until Sept 13th. Wed-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2:00.

Actorine

2009-08-12T10:20:00.002-04:00

'sup players?

I just did a week-long funtime with Rorschach Theatre called MYTHapp! Here's the gist:
Monday: everyone eats oreos and grapes with cheese and finds out their groups and gets a topic [ours: the Case of Clairvius Narcisse] this round's themes were inspired by the current season.
Tuesday: Workshop Read of the script the playwright wrote the night before.
Wed-Fri: Rehearse and tweak.
Sat: Tech in an hour.
Sun: Run and perform.

It was a blast - and I rediscovered my love for FunDip! Though my toungue has still not totally recovered from 3 days of munching on pure sugar...

Ours was one of the serious pieces, which was kinda odd as a lot of MYTHapps are funny. I mean the guys after us were posessed with Michael Jackson's soul! But... what can ya do? You can have fun with the show you're given and make the best of it. Which we did. Live burials and all.

Back to Longacre Lea where the scene change choreography has become very elaborate indeed! I'm glad I'm seeing this with fresh eyes - and I hope a lot of fresh eyes come see it starting next week!

Meanwhile, I'm alone at work, so I've been watching a Very Potter Musical and writing in http://drownmybooks.blogspot.com. I'm alone all week, so, you know... working...

Liveblog: Center Stage II: Turn it Up

2009-08-02T22:55:00.004-04:00

We open with street hip hop. The opening credits tell me both Ethan Steifel AND Peter Gallagher are in the movie... wow.

The lead chick did street fouttes, in sneakers, then got into her car to rock out remembering teaching her little sister ballet. "you can learn from videos!"

Oh, a mom issue. how original. A Dad who drinks, and a little sis who idolizes. HOW ORIGINAL.

She's at the American Ballet Academy!... Audition. There's Gallagher! Oh, she's late. And they can take "a very limited number of students." There's Ethan! Oh, he's judging.

"We're creating artists, not robots." and Cooper's back because his awesome company (remember, the one Jodi joined) ran out of funding. Wow.

Warmup montage. Some funder's daughter is a bitch. Our girl Parker is a rebel. Cooper's not impressed with anyone but our girl Parker. (Kate Parker)

Hot guys watch the auditions. "That is perfection." "Her? I'm looking at him." GAY JOKE! Hot guy compliments Parker on her form... her form?!?

Parker eats a Snickers - other dancers look on and JUDGE HER.

It's down to Kate Parker and the Funder's Bitch. Reeves wants the bitch prima, Cooper's fighting for Parker. They want the funder's daughter for money. bitch is named Suzanne Von Something. Oh, we're throwing out dance terms "can't we do something that's from the last 50 years?" Asks Cooper.

Hot guy got in. Suzanne pushes Parker out of her way - S got in, P did not. Surprise? Girly sad music starts playing. Parker sleeps in her car and tells her little sis on the phone that she got in.

Tries to get a job teaching - requirements are ridiculous (3 references, 1 year formal training, and a DVD reel...? wow)

Hot guy's shirt comes off - that was fast. It's the first class with Cooper! he lifts Suzanne in an arabesque. "Dancing is not only about focus - it's about connections." Oh, we're going to be forming an emotional attachment to our partners - that can't go wrong. Suzanne goes for Hot Guy.

Parker ambushes Cooper. She's been dreaming of going to ABA since she was a little kid! There's nothing he can do for her. Except tell her that she shouldn't believe that she didn't get in because she's not as good as anyone else. Go home, Parker!

Hot guy finds Parker sitting outside being mopey. He drops some cards. To a club. Where it's hot and sweaty. Not for a "girl like her."

HER CAR GOT TOWED! OH NYC! Pumping bad music as she drinks coffee and walks to impound lot. It'll take $300 cash to get it back! "You're kidding, right?" "Do I look like Eddie Murphy to you?"

Drifting walk montage - Parker finds a poster for the hot sweaty club. Purposeful walking. She gets in. Oh, there's some hot girls in here. Time to change into Hot Parker in the bathroom. Hot Parker wears a flannel midriff JACKET and lipgloss. HP finds Hot Guy and introduces herself (he's Tommy). He guesses her drink wrong - "a ballerina who drinks beer? that's awesome." small talk.

Another girl is checking T out "i think she's just sizing you up, see what you can do." "Guess I'd better show them" So P changes the music, jumps from the balcony and gyrates with her hip hop on the now clear dance floor. Ow ow!! says Tommy. She flips, they cheer.

"Do you know her?" "apparently not!" Her rock hard abs are freaking me out. THE JACKET IS OFF! Climbs back up to balcony, flips around and shit. waves to adoring crowd.

"I don't think there are too many girls at ABA that can do that." "Maybe that's why I didn't get in."

She gets hired by the owner of the club (Tommy's friend) to dance. That's it. "we're a new club - you do it all." What? Like a freakshow?

Suzanne is made to switch partners in class. Now she's with Tommy! They are PAIRED by Cooper - who pulls T aside for a solo demo. He's a flailing duck. Asked to stop. So now Cooper SHOWS HIM THE VARIATION. Tommy likes to watch. This is Ethan Steifel's showoff scene apparently. He's doing the whole variation. Tommy applauds. "to get to the top you need to find something you don't learn in a classroom." "like what?" "Passion"..."How do I do that?" "look outside the box for someone, something, that inspires you." "like suzanne?" ..."Get creative, that's what an artist does."

Parker's working the club. Tommy likes to look. She serves drinks, he chats her up and asks her to help him. "I've seen you move." I need help with pas de deux. "That's why you're at the ABA." Fay-uh. He needs "fire" but he's hot, so he says fay-uh. Or from Boston. She turnes him down, anyway.

She lives at the club, and made $30 tonight! Craigslist is a great apartment finder, Parker! She ambushes Tommy at ABA to ask him for Fay-uh tutoring for cash, but he won't do it at ABA. Th club'll work.

Pas de Deux montage. He is not good. "We took ballet at hockey camp" "so you're a ballerina." "that's ballerhino." He's also a pig "hot girls wrapping their legs and arms around me." Get lost, he won't. She says she's not like other dancers because she doesn't have a stick up her ass. Dual Montage of Tommy dancing with Parker and Suzanne - the fay-uh is definitely only with Parker. High Fives with Parker and flirty giggles with Suzanne.

"we can connect any way you want." says Tommy. Parker turns on some pop music and pounds the rhythm on his hard chest, then pressers her ass into his hips and gyrates. Now they're street dancing. Oh, this he does like he's been doin it forever. He gets a little too forward with her but she's really good at letting him down gently. Tommy dance solo, until a street duet. ALMOST KISS! Sal comes back! (club owner) "Just shootin shit!" says Tommy. Sal smiles knowingly.

Parker can afford an apartment! Oh it is draaaab. She sucks it up and takes it anyway. Brick walls, view of a brick wall, etc.

Cooper pulls Tommy and Suzanne aside to tell them they look really good - wants to recommend them for the Glass Slipper - for BROADWAY it's HUGE. Suzanne wants to celebrate, but Tommy has plans. He gets a rain check - definitely. suzanne to another ballerina "we should go out tonight, find out where Tommy's going."

And yes - Suzanne is AT THE CLUB! Tommy is a gentleman and buys them drinks. Two Cosmos and a Vodka Tonic. Shoulda guessed. Parker is snarky. Suzanne is bitchy. "You were at the ABA auditions weren't you - guess it wasn't a good fit. Aww." Parker glares and goes behind the bar. Music cue! Time for Parker to do her thing! And she does it with Tommy. "dance with me!" "That's awesome," he says "see you lata" but she pulls him back in to be her partner.

Again the floor clears and again she is awesome. Suzanne glares. Somehow P and T choreo'd something for this. Random solo. Tommy solo. nother Random solo. I think these random people were in Detroit with Parker for the opening credits. Ummm. Tommy busts out a sneaker pirouette and hugs Parker. Floor refills. Wow. Sexy dancing on each other now. SWEATY TOUCHING!

Parker busses tables, he stays late to help and asks her to dinner. She's always working. She has a second job! She never has a night off for dinner? No answer.

Pas de Deux class where Tommy informs Parker of the Glass Slipper and corrects her posture. "alright Barychnikov, let's get back to reality." She will not be auditioning for ABA again she says. He says it's all about rejection, and tells her that if she doesn't have thick skin and hard drive she should give up - she accuses him of deciding to do ballet one day out of the blue. "you have no idea what it's like to work your whole life for something and then have no control over whether you get it or not.' "do you know how long I played hockey?" and you walked away "I made a choice, I didn't let someone else make it for me. You're good, you're so good!" "I was so sure I was good, I came to NY and gave it everything I had and guess what - no one else sees it. Maybe it's just not there."

Back to bussing the club. Sal offers her the night off. She doesn't want it. He forces her. Tommy is waiting for her outside. Free for dinner now? "I told him an ambush was my only chance of taking you out." She goes home to change. Reservations for dinner someplace swanky. Awkward small talk about family. "I have a little sister, she's 13" "She as cute as you?" EW His little brother plays hockey. He wouldn't wish ballet on his brother "but if you really love it, you should be proud of it." Have his hockey buddies ever seen him perform? No... KISS AT A FOUNTAIN. Sexy guitar comes in. "you're alright" she says, teasingly. She got Fay-uh, he says! "like two sticks I wanna rub together." WHAT?!? He starts tango-ing in the rain in front of the fountain with her. This was so choreo'd.

Back at her place - giggle giggle. Still with pretense of tango. But totally sex. He gets ice cream from the freezer. And feeds it to her. Notices the pic of her sis, "she must be proud of you" "I haven't done anything to be proud of..." "Just tryin's all she needs to see." He's a bang-n-run, gotta get back to the dorm. 2 more hot kisses. Parker wakes up happy. So she calls her sister...?

Parker does some living room ballet. Meets Tommy at ABA for lunch. Asks him to help her train for the next audition. He's a tough trainer. She installs a ballet bar in her no-longer-drab apartment. Tommy sleeps over. He will be late for class!

Suzanne is le pissed! Tommy runs in late. Begins combo. DROPS SUZANNE! "What happened?" asks the teacher. "just keep your center strong." Tommy apologizes again. "it's not your arm, Tommy, there's a reason we have curfew. I don't care what you're doing as long as you're not ruining my life," says Suzanne.

Parker dances ballet in the club. Fills out a second application to ABA.

Mr. Reeves would like to see Tommy. Reeves' basically says the Suzanne's daddy's rich and that she enjoys dancing with Tommy - "I think the two of you could go very far together so don't blow it." Tommy should have no distractions. AUDITIONS for Monica Strauss's Glass Slipper. Tommy and Suzanne's turn. Tommy did well! Suzanne invites Tommy to a function thrown by daddy. "you have a lot of potential, and I don't want to see you blow it." She convinces him, "daddy's driver will pick us up at 6."

He hasn't told Parker what it really is, she thinks it's a school thing. Turns out she's catering "some rich guy's" event. GUESS WHICH RICH GUY! DADDY SUZANNE! Daddy Suzanne loves Tommy up - Parker notices him with Suzanne. Monica Strauss compliments the pair - insists they dance for everyone. Tommy asks if daddy suzanne is a hockey fan. They dance the black swan pas de deux. He is not totally into it. She's totally showing off. Parker watches from behind the glass - they finish and Suzanne kisses him. He doesn't stop her - Parker drops the tray of champagne and runs away. Tommy chases her to tell her it's nothing. "You're using her just like you're using me. I'm dress rehearsal, and she's opening night?" Storms off.

Sal notices something's off with Kate. The crowd is dying "Sometimes you're on, sometimes you're not," says Kate. Sal reminds her of her first night and asks her to do it again. She punches the wall, and jumps down to the dance floor and destroys some shit. Cooper walks in. She is so not on. Gorilla arms and competitive attitude. Oh NOW she's ON! Cooper admires. "das' what!" shouts Parker's opponent! Cooper reintroduces himself and tells her he's heard she's reapplying. "so how are you with a partner?" and Cooper dances with her.

Ethan Stiefel is no hip hop dancer. He stands while she literally dances circles around him then does some angular ballet moves. Tommy arrives. To see Parker on the cleared dance floor wrapping her legs around Cooper. She sees Tommy and busts out even better, sexier moves (possible? apparently). Awkward cooper-included moves ensue. Tommy glares. Cooper talls Tommy that girl can get down, thanks for the tip! Tommy confronts Parker - I guess now we're even, she says. And leaves with Cooper.

Cooper tells her she is hot, that Tommy was right about her. "Tommy told me to come down here and check you out, I should thank him tomorrow!" Ew, Coop. She says it's a no-go. "See you tomorrow at the audition, then." She runs home crying. Bad chick music. She RIPS up her audition form and THROWS her pointe shoes!

Monica wants two couples to audition for Glass Slipper (Suzanne and Tommy and some other people) No guarantees, says Reeves. Who must now go to the auditions for the company. Coop points out that Parker's not there to Tommy. Suzanne asks Tommy to dinner. And keeps talking. He leaves her at the elevator to talk to someone in the lobby. IT'S PARKER'S SISTER! He introduces himself as someone who "practices a lot" with Parker. Says he can help her find her sister.

Parker is watching a ballet DVD eating ice cream at home. Knock on the door. Bella TOOK A BUS, SHE MISSED HER SISTER! Aww. Parker tells Tommy nothing happened with Cooper, and he believes her. "I just wanted her to believe it could happen," "Yeah, but YOU gotta believe it." Bella loves the club. She does her own teeny bopper moves on the floor. Sal jokes that he might have to hire her too. Kate says she's going back to Detroit tomorrow. "It's about a lot of things."

Parker packs her ENTIRE APARTMENT in a night. Bella is ANNOYING. Parker EXPLODES with the information that she's not taking classes! Confesses she didn't get into the academy. She sounds like she's going to cry. She tells the increasingly ANNOYING Bella that they're leaving and that's that.

Tommy is being controlled by Suzanne, who is clingy. Parker sisters walk to the bus. Bella hangs back and sits on a bench. She has brought a poster for the Glass Slipper open auditions that Tommy gave her. She tells Parker she should go. "Do you have any idea how many people are auditioning for this thing?" "But you're so good." "This is so different." Bella's face makes Parker upset. "Do you really think I can do this?"

Parker shows up for the Open Call! (it's an open call?!) The line is around the block! Tommy arrives, and Bella runs to hug him (...) Awkward "hey"s. "Kill it." "I will." Next 20! This is it! "I'm with her." Bella says (like that would work!) and sits in the Theatre to watch. Parker makes it to the first line. They're casting Cinderella and the Sisters. Some guy rattles off a combo. He corrects Parker and says "try again." LIKE THAT WOULD HAPPEN! Parker's number is called - to step forward. CALLBACK!!

Suzanne auditions. Reeves puts in a good word for her technique. Her number is called forward. Impressive resume! Dance since you were 3? Daddy's choice. Parker is called forward. No resume. What!? No resume. We're going chorus line now. What about school? I haven't had any worth mentioning since I was 12, I mimicked TV. I have one of you as Giselle. Why no formal? Daddy's money went to lottery tickets. "you do what you gotta do, you know?" Admirable, says Monica Strauss.

Tommy is also at callbacks. Parker is in top 3. Tommy will partner with Suzanne. He lingers too long with Parker and takes her as his partner instead. "Let's see what they do." says Monica when Reeves intervenes. It's got FAY-UH... I guess. Bella likes it anyway. Suzanne fights back tears. She is NOT pointing her FEET! GAH! Even Reeves has to admit that there's something there.

Applause. Lights up on masked dancers in the Broadway production. He is topless. It'sTommy and Parker, with Suzanne between them. There's some cartwheels and running. And followspots. There's a glass wall with bricks painted on it that they touch through. The Audience whoops and whistles for them. Who thought a bodysuit was a good idea? It's a very sexual pas de deux that Suzanne watches from the wings. Sweaty. Bella's loving the performance.HOT KISS IN A BALLET?!?!? WHJAYTYTT?!? CURTAIN. DONE.

Opening night party. "we did it!" Suzanne tells her she was "beautiful." Sal came too! Bella takes flowers. Reeves tells them they were both excellent. "I remember you auditioned for me, sorry it didn't work out we could have learned a lot from each other. next time someone like me tells you you're not right remember this moment - because whatever brought you here is what it takes. I'll go call you're dad and tell him he's already won the lottery." WOW Tommy lifts Parker to cheers.

CREDITS.

90 minutes of my life I can't get back and 10 minutes of yours. Enjoy.

Dear World, Give Me Money

2009-07-30T16:01:00.002-04:00

Dear World,

I will do just about anything at this point for $50K.
Want me to prune your redwoods? DONE.
Want me to write a short story about your awesomeness? DONE.
Want me to have your baby? DO-Not ask me to do this until 2018 and we're good.
Want me to spike someone's drink? DONE.
Want me to poison someone's drink? Tell me to spike it but don't tell me it's poison. DONE.
Want me to seduce someone? As long as we can pull a Shakespearean switcharoo for another body. DONE.
Want me to make every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1 in one year? TRITE, but DONE.
Want me to update your blog for you? Send you nasty emails? Create your own Theatre-Going Calendar? Scrub your kitchen and bathroom? Complain to the NYTimes? Have dinner with your estranged cousin Jim? DONE DONE DONNITY DONEDONEDONE.

Want me to beg? Oh, I'll show you begging, I will beg so hard you won't even think of refusing!

Wandering Actoriness

2009-07-28T10:31:00.002-04:00

For Future Reference, CSmith, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN.

"that" would be this:
So you know how much I wanted to do Wandering Souls - how excited I was about them doing Winter's Tale (my favorite Shakespeare play)... then they announced their schedule. Rehearsals beginning in early August with performances in September. A quick email to Kathleen confirmed that I could not do Longacre Lea AND that show.

Panic sets in.

Caitlin the Actor REALLY wants to do Winter's Tale, but Caitlin the Person is TOO AFRAID to tell Kathleen how badly she really wants it, even though she knows Kathleen would understand! C the P is afraid that she will have to quit Longacre Lea NOW to even seriously audition as C the A. This stems from a longago tale of woe:

11 year old CSmith just discovered acting - loved it. In one week I auditioned for the lead in a musical about a child murderess and a children's theatre. The Children's theatre calls offering me the role of the Emporess in The Emporer's New Clothes. PSHAW, I said, I rocked that musical audition. NOT ONE HOUR LATER the musical calls to say I look too old. After years of looking "too young" I am now too old - I wail into my bedspread. My dad called the Children's Theatre who had already recast, but could still put me in the roll of one of the team of Doctors. Lesson... learned?

Now, afraid that I will repeat the mistake of giving up a sure thing for an outside chance, I decide (BADLY) not to talk to Kathleen about it and just go to the audition, telling them that I would give my left arm to do it (truth) and that if they want me I will make it happen. I stumble through my monologues (rock them, actually, I think, I thought) and head out. No word for 2 weeks at least. By then Longacre Lea rehearsals have started, I'm so stressed out I'm not eating right, and the guilt weighs on me so heavy that I fear I will collapse while walking.

In an email conversation with the Artistic Director, and feeling like a total waffle, I tell Wandering Souls that I no longer can clear my calendar for rehearsals. Still feel like shit. I am also now their Booking Manager, so I get to help - but still feel like a load of crap for (badly) trying to play everything to my advantage. I don't actually think I was being considered, anyway. WHINY MOMENT: Will I ever get to do Shakespeare?

I didn't feel totally better until I told Kathleen the whole truth. It felt really good, because (as I knew all along) Kathleen understands. Why don't I ever remember these things when I should? She didn't just generically make me feel better, either, she reassured me that I wasn't a piece of crap and asked what my next step was. Practical and Wonderful.

My next step was to grow a pair and email theatre companies. I'll say whether or not that's working out soon. Had an audition for INKWELL on Sunday that was ok - I felt really flat. I had prepared 2 of their sides, and saw that the person ahead of me was doing my #1. So I did my #2. And felt kinda flat. Ah well, we shall see what comes of it.

And hopefully more auditions on the horizon, eh?

What Happen, CSmith?

2009-07-28T09:19:00.003-04:00

I'll tell you what happened.

I. Got. Twitter.

And I like it. I can now send each mundanity into the intarwebs as soon as I think it (from phone OR from desk) and my 70 or 80 something followers will read it. I can follow my celebrity crushes: Nathan Fillion, Spencer Humm, Russel Brand, Joss Whedon anyone I want (who also has twitter). I don't have to compose my thoughts, I need to edit them so they're less than 141 characters.

And so I open this blog once a week or so, knowing that no one on this blog is also on twitter (or blindly assuming anyway) so they won't know my EVERY THOUGHT unless I call them... or facebook them... or (godforbid?) SEE them! And I still cannot blog. I cannot think of enough information to post. I am not the first to go through this, I know! http://johndellaporta.blogspot.com/ I am also too lazy to find his entry about how twitter once destroyed his ability to blog. But boy watches TV and still works at STC so he's got the advantage on blogging...

Me, I hide under my boss's desk to avoid docents. I post and retweet Harry Potter articles and pictures. I re-discover Google Reader thanks to Reichelt and get addicted to this blog: http://booksidoneread.blogspot.com/ I see MASSIVE amounts of theatre in my notsofree time and spend what minutes we have simultaneously awake with Andrew. I rehearse Longacre Lea on good and bad days. I WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 in the office at work on a Friday.

And all of this goes into my twitter feed (I'm linthenerd, if you're looking). Or on Facebook. Why should I blog at all?

Because I should and it's therapeutic and stuff.

I'll do two posts in one day because it seems wrong to write about twitter and my theatre life in one article.

Future Project for when I have too much time on my hands: go through the blog and add tags.

Serenity helps define my issues:

2009-06-18T11:39:00.003-04:00

"Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home."

OK, stay with me on this one.

I know Mal's talking about his ship, Serenity, but I feel like it's echoing Joss Whedon's own sentiment on his career: "I don't make things people like, I never make things they like - I make things people love." And he says it without pomposity or braggishness - it's truly something he means. He's not creating worlds and people that we're supposed to just be entertained by, these characters move us, we love them, we come to think of them as family or close friends. I'll say it again: We Love Them. And we do, because Joss does. He LOVES his work.

If you're not doing something because you love it - if you're only doing it because you think you ought to or someone told you to or the money's good enough: then you're not doing it 100%. Obviously sometimes we have to think on these things as a matter of reality (money pays for rent, food, etc), but you have to love it, too, even in a small way.

I loved my characters in the shows I've played, and I love to act and to perform and to be another person. In Red Noses I may not have loved all of the actors I worked with, but I loved the family I had in the world of the show - I loved the world of the show itself. I loved the fun of Inspector General and it smarted when that love was not universal backstage.

Joss and Mal help me believe that as long as I love what I'm doing - I should keep doing it. I'm not just going to blanket mail every theatre in town begging them to hire me! For one thing, I 95% love my day job, so I'm not jeopardizing that. For another, I don't love every theatre I've been in in DC. I love Forum, I love dog&pony, I love Longacre Lea, I love Rorschach. Why? THEY LOVE THEIR WORK, TOO.

I base my interest on a Theatre by how much love they give.

I sound like a hippie. I'm alright with that.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." Should apply to work as well.

Mental Note

2009-05-27T14:19:00.002-04:00

Out of the 6 Theatres I am now VERY interested in working for,

1 won't be auditioning until next Spring (so I have to wait on that letter or look like a spaz)
1 is indefinitely dark
2 are sort of inclusive and I should just stay in the loop (email listserves ahoy!)

and I don't even know how to begin to approach the other 2 because I'm nervous and shy and incredibly self-depricating sometimes.

Hi!
I saw that one show you did that one time and I totally loved it, I really thought your show captured this essential part of theatre and I've seleceted YOU out of the bajillion theatres in DC to offer myself as an actor for auditions! Don't you feel special?! You should, because I am some sweet talent wrapped in your standard short brunette! Don't let the shortness of my resume fool you, I'm truly awesome. So remember me when your auditions come around, and I promise you won't be sorry!
kthxbai
CSmith

right? no - and that's how I feel all of my attempts have sounded for the past 2 weeks. And I don't know how they all run auditions (like if it's invite-only, open call, not-a-friend need not-apply)

boof.

An Excellent Adventure

2009-05-26T11:39:00.002-04:00

No, I didn't go back in time with two 80s rockstar wannabe's!

Since I bitch a lot here, I'm going to take this opportunity to talk about my best day ever yesterday!

Memorial Day Weekend - day off. Awesomeness is already there!
Reichelt let me borrow her aunt's bike so I could do this - PROPS!

Andrew and I woke up around 10am - rather, I made us get out of bed close to 10:30 because it was late already! We putzed around, put air in our bike tires, found our helmets, I packed an "everything" bag and we were off! Breakfast at Einstein/Starbucks (delicious and carbolicious) - no rush, not a long wait, not too much sun. Nice.

Then we were really off! Taking the bikes down 16th to the Rock Creek Parkway - closed to automobiles on weekends and mostly downhill! I'm pretty sure I coasted almost all the way down to the zoo. Megan's bike is a little big for me (I'm short!) but I made it work - the pedals were fine, but stopping was an issue! We biked all the way to the Kennedy Center (beautiful, by the way) under trees, smelling freshness, wonderful views. Seeing the water at the KC I said 'let's go to the Tidal Basin!'

So we did! It's only $10 for a 2-seater for 1 hour. And that hour can go pretty fast when you're just pedaling and relaxing! We saw goslings and ducklings and a waterbird with an impressive wingspan! We pedaled close enough to see the FDR Memorial's waterfalls and took some great pics of the Washington and Jefferson. At about the 45 minute mark, the clouds had started to gather so we pedaled in and decided to just head for Union Station for lunch.

On the way there we rode up the Mall to avoid the Memorial Day Parade road blocks, but managed to find where they'd lined everyone up! We got to see the parade (most of it) without having to stand on the sidelines! And we had great views of the Smiths' and the Capitol! I got us to Union, because I am awesomeness, and we ate at America (which is a usual for us.) Our service was EXCELLENT (ask for Eric), and we tried some new things. Then we got our bikes on the metro to come home.

Around Fort Totten I saw the lightning and the black clouds over the north - where we were headed. No worries. If we get wet - we get wet! We were already still a little sweaty and very much looking forward to a shower! We biked up to our apartment from the metro in the driving rain (more fun than it sounds!) and got changed and dressed. At this point it's only 4pm, still.

We picked John up from the hospitol (I'll let him tell it, it's nothing too serious!) and went to Rita's for italian icee goodness! Strawberry Maragrita - I'm tellin' you. Mmmmm want more... Anyway, then we walked around Target just to look, came home and watched some more How I Met Your Mother, the boys went out for a drink, and Alie and I ended up joining them too late, and early(ish) to bed.

Perfect Day. Want more of them. :)

Andrew and I plan to try to make biking a regular weekend thing for us. And we're both giving up soda cold turkey. Just water, juice, and coffee (with skim) for us, please! Guess this means I'll need a 3rd bike!

Thoughts on Life

2009-05-20T09:49:00.002-04:00

Hello!

So in this time of 14 months to marriage (pronounced mary-ahj) I take a look at my life and think WHY THE FUCK DON'T I HAVE MONEY?! and WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!

I love my job - I truly do! Sure sometimes I want to kick a docent in the face with a 4 inch stiletto that I would buy just for that occasion and the pleasure it would bring me BUT I took the job thinking that I would not need for more finances. Quit WSC to do it. Thought I would have endless peace and joy. And now I find that if I want to continue paying off my student loans and get married in a year I will need a second job. Poop.

The thing is, if I want to act - I can't really get a second job. The thing is, if I want to act - I really should have more auditions lined up than I do. I think it's pretty safe to say that the Fall is looking like another break that so happens to coincide with Andrew's next trip to Detroit. Perfect. The thing is, I'm not so certain now that professional acting for the minimal pay is worth the payoff.

In 2 years I've done 3 professional shows. I thoroughly enjoyed myself during rehearsals (aside from the travel for Inspector) and put a lot of effort into my work. None of the shows were well-recieved; and backstage morale wasn't exactly high. In fact, I almost reverted to my STC depression during Inspector. Depression and a few audiences paying to see it really aren't worth the 3 months of energy and sacrifice I put into this. In my opinion. Sorry if that sucks or sounds bratty.

I would definitly put 3 months (or more) of effort into a show I believed in with a team I respected which I felt had a purpose. I'm 2/3 for every show I've worked on - what is the purpose of putting on a show? Boards and Artistic Directors don't pull show titles out of a hat - they mean something to someone, and I make it mean something to me (which is why I was so heartbroken about Red Noses unpopularity) and I care about it and if it means nothing to everyone else why bother? I can't pour myself into a void.

Conclusion: I want to join Wandering Souls - a touring minimalist company that brings theatre to audiences that wouldn't normally get it: homeless shelters, inner-city schools, prisons, detention centers, etc. This would give purpose to my effort, meaning to my art. I want to work for companies that have fun with themselves and each other and put on shows that mean something to the community they reach. There are companies in DC that I would still desperately put myself out there for (Forum, dog&ponydc, Inkwell, Catalyst, Taffety Punk, Rorschach, Theatre Alliance, to name a few) because I can see that passion for meaningful theatre with fresh perspective in them. But I also want to feel like my effort means something - if I'm going to play Rock #1, dammit, I'm going to be the best GD rock you ever seen!.

I guess that should be "conclusion A" because that has nothing to do with me making more money.

Conclusion B: I don't want to get a second job. And I can't get a raise at work. And just getting booked for a couple of shows isn't going to pay off these loans. So I guess I have to unless something changes this summer. Otherwise I'm applying to Uno's and America Cafe at Union Station for after-work and weekends waitressing. Sigh.

If anyone has any suggestions for a PT job that could pull down $10-15K that I could do from home or from work, please let me know!

Love.

Hiii - The Life Is Boring

2009-05-11T13:16:00.003-04:00

Hello!

So adventures have been a little less frequent lately. Because since Inspector General's closing on Feb 28, I haven't been working in Theatre. My life was consumed by the Birthday - but my evenings and weekends were, for the most part, free.

I've seen a shitton of shows (which I'm happy about - I love seeing theatre) and enjoyed most of it. Also, Alie and I invented MOVIE TUESDAY and between that, my upgraded netflix account, and alternate social outings with Reichelt and John and Andrew, I've seen pretty much everything there is to see...

UNTIL NOW: Angels & Demons opens this Thursday - need to see it v. soon.
I am still excited for other movies, like Up, Land of the Lost, and Harry Potter VI (obvi), but that doesn't help me this week!

Um, but HULU is taking over my life (as in: I discovered Queue and was lost for 2 days. Firefly and Dr. Horrible are both there in their entirety. Excellent.

So, in summary, this break from theatre has not been unwelcome. I am a little concerned about next fall, and I'ma stick to my vow that I will not be a non-actor for anyone anymore (except Longacre Lea). Am I late to the game on self-promotion? Probably. I should stop waiting on theatres to announce their season to tell them how awesome I am.
HOWEVER - old news, Arena Stage asked me to be an Acting Apprentice for their show Legacy of Light but rehearsals started right away (day after Birthday) and were daytime - and Bob just put the kibosh on daytime rehearsals for us. Poo. But oh well, as Haney said, at least I won't be moving furniture for 7 weeks (and that's what it would have been - a non-speaking role in the show, moving set pieces.)

AND Andrew and I have set a date for the wedding! July 11, 2010. We're touring the location on June 4, and then we can get down to business!

Yays.

The DJ Came!

2009-04-26T22:31:00.003-04:00

It's over! It's all over! And now, for your amusement and my [in]sanity, I will type what I'm thinking, what I have been thinking in the 4 hours I've been home since the Birthday thing happened:

IT'S OVER I'M AWESOME I DID IT SUCK IT TREBEK I RULE THAT WAS TOO HOT TOO HOT MY BACK IS ON FIRE NO NOT REALLY, JUST BURNED ON THE EDGES, LIKE A CRISPY PIECE OF CHICKEN, NOT THAT I'M A CHICKEN BECAUSE SISTER ROCKED A BITCH OUT!!! SHAKESPEARE IS MY MUTHAFOOKIN BITCH YO, AND HE DIDN'T EVEN COME TO THE PARTY I THREW IN HIS HONOR! BEEYOTCH. ALIE AND JOHN CAME THOUGH - AT THE END - BUT THEY CAME SO THAT'S COOL I LOVE MOCHA ICED MOCHA IS MY NEW GOD! NO, NOT REALLY, GOD IS A STRONG WORD. MOCHA IS MY NEW ZEUS. TAT'S OK, RIGHT? OFFENSIVE ONLY TO ANCIENT GREEK PAGANS? SORRY, XENA.

JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR: 1) I PULLED IN A FULL EXTRA DAY'S WORK IN OVERTIME LAST WEEK. 2) SURE, I GOT EMOTIONAL, BUT THE CRISES WERE DEALT WITH. 3) I WAS TOLD BY MORE THAN ONE PERSON THAT THAT WAS THE BEST YET!!!!

Remember, kids: Color Coding is not only helpful - but IMPRESSIVE. Apparently.

I might say more about what really happened today later. Right now, I'm still trying to come back from the 2 VERY emotionally draining episodes of HOUSE I'd never seen (Amber vs. Bus), and the pizza guy might think I'm sad and pathetic. Maybe I'll order another one to ask him. Probably not. What do you think, Bill? Hermione? Oh that's right, you're PETS you can't SPEAK.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MULLEN!!!

I'm a "Lady of ill Repute" for Shakespeare!

2009-04-10T14:33:00.002-04:00

Come celebrate at the Folger Shakespeare Library on April 26th, 2009 from 12pm to 4pm. Tour the Reading Room (normally closed to the public)! There are opportunities to get up onstage and speak some Shakespearean verse for the masses! Take in as many shows as you like! We'll have sword swallowing, stage combat, madrigals, Bill's Buddies, Dancing, visits to Mrs. Shakespeare and, best of all A FASHION SHOW!

Dress as your favorite Shakespearean character, or as his next-door-neighbor if you like, and show it off at 3:00pm in our Outdoor Renaissance Runway, which is right before the FREE CAKE is handed out to the throngs of men, women, and children enjoying a day dedicated to the Bard's Big 445th!

Did I mention it's all FREE!?

The Debate RAGES!

2009-03-25T10:19:00.002-04:00

Crack winds, Blow your cheeks!

Andrew doesn't like Shakespeare - his language that is. So we had a discussion last night that almost ended with a fight. (Theatre people, we're so dramatic!)

Here's what it boils down to, for me:

It's not Shakespeare if you're not using his language. You can follow the plot of his plays through summaries, synopses, or the like - but unless you're using his language - IT'S NOT SHAKESPEARE.

HOWEVER, the language isn't the most important thing - it's the enduring truth his work provides us with. Themes of social injustice, equality, love and death and suicide - his work THINKS. It ponders, it debates itself. Shakespeare understood PEOPLE and put THEM onstage.

And being onstage - presented - that's how it's best understood. You can read Hamlet's soliloquies about suicide, or you can say them aloud and let your voice carry the weight of a truly unbearable question TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

Shakespeare is the centerpiece on the table of Theatrical and English language history - before him came the Greek playwrights and Marlowe for Theatre, came Holinshed, Ovid and Chaucer for stories; and using all of them he created works that were forgotten and experienced new life in the Restoration.

If you want a rounded ACADEMIC understanding of his work - please do make sure you read all of those sources, highlighting their similarities of plot and picking out morals that match.

If you want to understand his PLAYS, however, get up - say it - feel spit run down your chin as you cackle BE BLOODY BOLD AND RESOLUTE, let your eyes well up with tears as you cry DRUNK ALL AND LEFT NO FRIENDLY DROP TO HELP ME AFTER, skip with joy as you halloo PRAISE BE GOD AND NOT OUR STRENGTH FOR IT!

These plays shouldn't be tossed onto your middle school desk with the assignment to "go home and read act one" they should be brought into your elementary school classrooms without pretense of a potentially hard road. Younger children understand languages better - let them speak his words - then in middle school, introduce them to novels and movies (if they've not already seen them) and the very EXTENSIVE body of work his plays inspired.

That's what my future theatre company is all about. Not students who LOVE and WORSHIP and want to know SHakespeare the writer - but people who need to be taught that he is not on a pedestal of greatness for his words, but for his truths.

Get over it, America, and teach him well - with joy and life, not reverence and supplication!

Romeo, Romeo...

2009-03-23T09:46:00.008-04:00

Original Text:
JULIET O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?Deny thy father and refuse thy name;Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

JULIET 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,Nor arm, nor face, nor any other partBelonging to a man. O, be some other name!What's in a name? that which we call a roseBy any other name would smell as sweet;So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,Retain that dear perfection which he owesWithout that title. Romeo, doff thy name,And for that name which is no part of theeTake all myself.

My half-ixed attempt at modernizing it.
JULIET: O Romeo, Romeo! why must you be Romeo? Deny your father and refuse your name; Or, if you will not, just be sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO: (aside) Should I hear more, or should I speak at this?

JULIET: It's just your name that it my enemy; Your are yourself, though not a Montague. What's Montague? It's not a hand, or foot, or arm, or face, or any other part Belonging to a man. O, be some other name! What's in a name? that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet; And so would Romeo, without his name, Keep all the dear senses of his being. O, Romeo, lose your name, And for that name which is no part of you Take all of me.

In response to Johnny D's comment: is there anything lost between the two? (I'm not even going to try Hamlet...)

I am a huge huge fan of the Animated Tlaes series the BBC and HBO released almost 2 decades ago. using Shakespeare's language, Leon Garfield abbreviated 12 plays down to 25 minutes each and Master Russian Animators took their talents to them. If you haven't seen one, click around youtube where fanatics like me have posted videos.
Tell me what you think!

2009-03-22T15:32:00.004-04:00

If you haven't commented on the post below (or at the Facebook note here) then please do! It's a very educational discussion for me!

If you're having trouble with Fbook, comment here and I can paste it there.

Why Do We Teach Shakespeare?

2009-03-20T12:31:00.001-04:00

Today my department (all 6 of us, which almost never happens) went to Firehook as a morning trip. When we got back, instead of going to our desks, we sat at the communal table in the office and started a discussion. I, being the youngest and least experienced,
Often have a lot of questions about teaching Shakespeare.

Why do we do it? What is it about Shakespeare that we MUST teach? I did a presentation on Teaching Shakespeare using contemporary films and tie-ins to emphasize the universality and staying power of Shakespeare – and was brutally ripped a new one by my professor who wanted me to answer why inner city school kids need to know this stuff. She wouldn’t accept my stumbled answer of his “human truth” or “universal relevance.” Maybe I have some more articulate answers now.
Conversation with Robert Young, Deidra Starnes, Carol Kelly, Mike LoMonico, and Niki Torres:

Shakespeare not only wrote violence and action, but he wrote the consequences of those actions – which is not something you get all the time in movies or in other plays. This sort of makes you step back and think about the choices these characters have made, what led them to this, how do I make choices…

A culture has broken down if their language becomes a language of lies (example of this in Shakespeare: IAGO). When a society no longer reveres the uses and the colors and the nuances of a language – which is what Shakespeare’s words celebrate. It’s important for kids to know that language – GOOD use of GOOD language is vital to being a functioning modern society. I mean, look at Obama, that man is a brilliant speaker and he writes his own speeches. He knows how to use good language. Our former president, on the other hand, he was barely literate, “I read some Shakespeares,” he said. The best thing to come out of his presidency is the Book Festival his wife founded. It’s a celebration of education and literacy, and our culture needs that sort of encouragement – we’re fast becoming an almost illiterate society.

The truth is, his work encompasses a range of human positions, emotions, and situations. By asking students how they feel about a character’s situation, they can learn more about themselves because they relate to the characters. Example in today’s media: you can ask a bunch of teenage girls how they feel about Othello, then ask them how they feel about Chris Brown (the abusive boyfriend of Rhianna). How do those experiences relate? If they recognize an abusive relationship in Shakespeare, they can ask themselves harder questions about their own lives with that buffer of fiction. True, these subjects are often addressed in modern plays and books, but Shakespeare adds this extra element of safety and disassociation that lends itself to a more comfortable discussion.

This also answers the question a friend and I touched on recently: there are so many adaptations of plays being done all over town where the language has been updated but the spirit is the same. Why, my friend asked, can’t the same be done to Shakespeare? You can still hear Lope de Vega’s voice in Dog in the Manger but the audience is actually getting it. My feeling, and that of apparently the entire Education Department and the Head of Research here, is that Shakespeare’s language is what is important in his work. It is important to see and enjoy the plays, but if you update his language all you’re left with is the plot and some jokes. The plots are unoriginal, and are adaptations themselves – and who’s to say that Shakespeare isn’t adapted ALL THE TIME! It’s done – but what is important about preserving his plays is to hear that language in use, and to understand what a true understanding of language and human existence is.

My experience recently with a woman (I think in her late 30s, early 40s) who… well, let me tell this story:
I was picking up my mail from the front desk of my building and the woman was talking at the desk attendant. She saw my hat and noticed my pin that says “I Flamed Amazement.” She asked what it meant. I said, “Oh, it’s from the Tempest, I work at the Folger.” I was greeted with a blank stare, “I don’t know those words ‘tempest?’ ‘folger?’ that means nothing to me.” I regained my airy smile after faltering and said “the Folger Shakespeare Library. Shakespeare.” More blankness. This was getting uncomfortable. To buy time she asked me where it was – and I told her – and she said, “oh! I work down at Judiciary Square for the court system.” “That’s great,” I said, no longer smiling, “you should come by, there’s nothing on in the theatre, yet, but –“ “OH,” she cut in, “so it’s like a PLAY!” “Yes…” I said, signing for my Netflix, “just like that.”
I feel greatly disturbed by this encounter (and with a similar experience Ed Maudlin told me about where someone asked him if ‘The Tempest’ was a band). Nothing says that these encounters are isolated experiences with people who slept through English class all their life, or only read magazines about hair. But they’re probably not. People in OUR OWN GENERATION do not know who Shakespeare is/was. Nor do they care. But they still get through life – they still have jobs and see movies – and who am I (or we) to judge that their lives mean less because they haven’t expressed themselves, ever, with a quote like “’tis but they name that is my enemy…”?
My feeling is that it should be that anyone speaking English should know at least one quote by Shakespeare, something that they can relate to, even if they found it in a quote book, even if it’s out of context. More importantly, Shakespeare should never be on this pedestal of “high culture,” that kids and adults alike are afraid to approach as novices. Mike threw out there today as a reminder from yesterday’s discussion about teaching Shakespeare in ESL, that kids want to know this. They appreciate being treated like they can – and that’s what will make them able to understand is if we treat them like they will understand. It increases their confidence to be able to read a passage and know what it means.

My goal is to someday be influential enough in this niche that I can ensure that Shakespeare is being taught in elementary classrooms, that there will never again be a person I run into that has never heard of him or his plays, that the Shakespeare Theatres of the world will be way more publicly accessible and need not be so opulent. Bring Shakespeare to the masses and the masses will come to Shakespeare.

Why is he important to you?

Thoughts from the Past Few Days

2009-03-19T09:10:00.002-04:00

It struck me the other day that I want to play a very specific kind of Shakespearean female.
-Paulina
-the Nurse
-Katherine
-Mariah
-Emilia
servants (excepting Katherine) with an attitude. Strong, vocal women. Why is that, I wonder?

I ran into a woman last night at the front desk of my building who was chattering to (not with) the desk attendant. I wear a pin on my hat from the Festival last week which says "I Flamed Amazement" with the Folger logo. She asked what it meant, so I told her it was a quote from the Tempest, then to explain it, I work at the Folger.
"I don't know what any of those words mean," she said, "Folger? Tempest? No..."
"The Folger Shakespeare Library?"
"Don't know what that is. Oh, so it's like a play!"
"Yeah..."
I told her where the Folger was, turns out she's not far from it at work - she works for our Court System.
How do you get to be middle aged and have absolutely no clue what "The Tempest" is? I don't understand. Of course, I was raised in a theatre so I have an advantage there, but don't you have to learn about him in school regardless? Well you should!
I left the conversation kind of angry.

Why is St. Patrick's Day dedicated to drinking? The man was a saint, why does that equal boozing til you're cruising? Why is Guiness so bitter, and why did I feel obligated to order one? Why did I then go home and go to bed at 10:30pm? Am I getting old?

Andrew left for Detroit on Sunday - he'll be back April 5ish. I discovered since we switched sides of the bed to sleep on that it's harder for me to get to sleep and even harder to wake up! I think it's because it's the dark side of the room next to the heater. Tonight I'll sleep on my old side and see how the morning goes!

Epic Meeting today from 10-4 on ESL Shakespeare. Yay.

Whoamygoodness! Need an update?

2009-03-13T09:40:00.002-04:00

Hello Friends!

Yes, the show is over. I miss the friends I made there (KJ, especially) and definitely miss feeling active and creative. BUT I've been getting to sleep at old-people hours and LIKING it, for the most part. My parents enjoyed it (my mother writhed with laughter!) and had fun visiting me in Silver Spring the next day. I love and miss them so much.

Last Monday was supposed to start our Secondary School Festival. It snowed instead. We came into work (since DC was on "liberal leave" for the weather, it didn't make sense not to) just to make the appropriate calls and emails for cancelling the day, but that was it. So we started the Festival on Tuesday instead.

This Festival is a week-long (7 school days) event where we have between 6 and 8 schools per day come and perform their 25 minute pieces of Shakespeare. My favorites were the ones that didn't try to do a scene or a condensed play - but rather those that took a theme and ran with it. Politics in Shakespeare, Thisbe and Juliet, What do Women Want?, and (my personal favorite) Oh, How Vile an Idol which used lines about music to respond to the students singing songs and sonnets from Shakespeare. Best line = Randy: This dog, my dog. HAHAHAHAHHAdork.

So that's how it went - We all came in around 8am - got them all seated and situated by 9 - watched 3 or 4 performances, LUNCH DELIBERATION, 3 or 4 more performances, MORE DELIBERATION, awards ceremony, and about an hour left in the work day to do work. After this - go home and COLLAPSE because even being around 200 students will bouy you for only so long!

Plus we saw Watchmen (which was, in my opinion, terrible except for Rorshach), had movie nights, in-nights, and friend dates. All in all, I'm TIRED. the night before last I baked a personal pizza and crawled into bed at 9:30. 9:30, my friends! WHAT!?

Yes.

And so we come to it - the exhaustion has finally caught up to me. The festival ended that same day I passed out at 10:00pm, and it's been pretty much the same - get home clean something eat dinner watch tv/movie go to bed before 11:00. Interesting, no?

No.

When I Move to NYC

2009-02-24T16:52:00.004-05:00

I want to work here:
Theatre for a New Audience

I wish I could check them out NOW, but their season closer (Hamlet) ends mid-April. And I cannot go anywhere outside of DC in April (Birthday - Shakespeare doesn't even CARE! Why do we DO IT!!??)

Anyhoodle, stepping stone to the DREAM. This theatre company is amazing. Not only do they share my goal - they attract artists such as Julie Taymor, Peter Brook, and associations like, oh, just the ROYAL [EFFING] SHAKESPEARE COMPANY!!!

WANT.

So my goal is to have a job (admin) there when I move to NY. Hopefully in ED, and hopefully at $35-40K p/y.

countdown to 2012/13...

Dear Samuel French

2009-02-21T00:45:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday I found out about my audition for a theatre company I like and want to work for: AND I CAN ONLY BE CONSIDERED FOR ONE SHOW (because of my schedule).

After doing the research, Samuel French, I find that this show only has 2 Women.

After some more research and some dead effing ends, I have to turn to you, Samuel French, for the script.

To give myself time to prepare (since the audition is ONE WEEK from the time I'm contacted), I pay the extra $6 for 2-day shipping.

I get a confirmation email - HOORAY, Samuel French, HOORAY!!

It's Thursday - my script is not here and my show was cancelled again so I'd have a whole night to work on it. Oh well, shit happens, Samuel French. Maybe you couldn't process it until Wednesday even though I ordered it before your specified 3PM EST business hour bullshit jargon.

It's Friday - your office is closed, Samuel French, and I STILL DON'T HAVE MY SCRIPT. Why did I SPECIFY 2-day shipping if I wanted to wait a week?!? I don't HAVE a week, Samuel French. I have LESS than a week, and paid MORE so it would get to me with enough time to READ it and WORK with it so that I can actually do my BEST at my FIRST audition for this company!!!

I've left a message on your Customer Service/Order person's voicemail box, Ross. I've pointed out in this voicemail (after what has been, admittedly, a long week) why I am just the bittest upset with you right now. I hope we can still be friends.

If my script is not in my hands tomorrow night - you and I will have words on Monday when you ARE open, Samuel French, and those words will end with "I'm sorry, we will refund your shipping money [even though we say we never do that for any reason], and ship your script overnight for free!!!"

But it will be too late, Samuel French, because even if you ship it overnight on Monday (before the 3pm EST bullshit jargon), I won't have it until Tuesday night - after my audition, which I won't have been able to prepare for.

$6 might be a pithy sum to you, Samuel French, but we (and I) are in a recession right now. I would think you understood that anyone working in THEATRE right now, isn't exactly rolling in cash. In fact, Samuel French, I'm pretty strapped, so for me to sit down and consciously CHOOSE to pay MORE money for faster results that I am, in the end, denied, Samuel French, makes me pretty effing angry.

I do hope you understand, Samuel French. I look forward to talking to you in person.

EDIT (MONDAY): Called just now. Apparently the script is backordered, and says so on the Invoice I receieved on Saturday (yeah, the Invoice, not the Script). It was not listed online OR in the confirmation email. Ross (or someone who works under him) apologized for that, and cancelled my order. I have not lost $16. HOORAY, Samuel French, HOORAY! I mean, you still suck a bit because I'm going in cold tomorrow, but at least I have my money!

What Do I Do With My Life? A Myriad

2009-02-19T13:47:00.003-05:00

The last few days have been a sort of "but if I," "-but if this," "but if that" sort of thing. So here's what I'm thinking: (Keep in mind this is always bouncing around in my head)

PLAN AS IT STANDS: in 2012, Andrew graduates from Yale. We get married and move to NYC. I act (if possible) and hopefully get a job working in the arts and education for good money, too. I will use the Folger connections I'm forging until then to make sure this happens. After a few years, Andrew and I move back to the DC area (hopefully Frederick, MD) and get a house, start planting hobbits (2 only - tube-tying to follow!). Andrew is a professional lighting designer, and I work at the Folger again (unless something better rears its head). Coordinating schedules = good, and I can try to be in some small-co shows when the hobbits are toddlers because Andrew's family is all over MD and loves babies. Once the hobbits are in Middle School, I can commit to more shows. When we're 70, Andrew and I retire to Bruges for 9 out of 12 months of the year. We winter in America to spend the holidays with the Hobbits.

Right?

BUT THEN THERE'S THIS IDEA: Andrew goes to Yale. I apply and get in to Shenandoah and get my Masters in both Letters and Acting in Shakespearean Studies (ML/MFA 3 years program = awesome, right?) I graduate in 2013 and move to NYC with Andrew. We would have gotten married one of the summers before.
EITHER - Above plan continues the same way.
OR - I use my new creds to get more work as a teacher/actor. But not a Teaching Artist. You can't live on that - I can't, hobbits can't...

AND THEN I THOUGHT THIS: Andrew to Yale, Me to Shenandoah, NYC. Move back to DC - and I OPEN MY OWN THEATRE. I have two ideas - I still love the Caitlin <3 Queso idea, but I have another Idea for a Shakespeare Adaptation Theatre. Still starts at Warehouse, mind, but I would convert the space into awesomeness with the money I somehow have, AND have Shakespeare clubs of upper high schoolers (and they exist) to come in and collaborate on one adaptation a year that's Workshopped for the Spring Semester and performed on Shakes'ey's birthday. I form a partnership with a University, and do the same only they're part of the mainstage season. I get a Middle School involved, eventually, and do the same for the Birthday Event. Throughout the year I hold readings of select books, poems, and plays that relate however minutely to Shakespeare, and raise money that way. I have a 3-show season, using Shakespeare's contemporaries (like Marlowe, Fletcher, etc), and re-imaginings of Shakespeare's work (you would not BELIEVE the plethora of material...) One Book a year will have scenes dramatized. There will be cabarets using scenes from several plays based on The Seven Ages of Man that I will eventually begin to commission from grad playwrights and local artists. We do something akin to Myth Appropriations with Shakespeare.... We -

You guys - I think you can tell... this is turning into a full-out DREAM. It can't happen in Frederick. It just can't. I want the Warehouse, and I want the DC Theatre Community that I already know and love.

So, by the time I get back from NYC to do this, here's what I need:
-2 collaborators who are energetic and share my VISION of this theatre community embracing the re-imagining of one of the best re-imaginers in Modern english. It can't be just one - this needs to be a COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Also, these need to be people I can trust in my absence not to tarnish the dream because I will want to hatch and spend time with my hobbits.
(Reichelt and friends, I'm looking at you!)
-1 or 2 Business consultants who will devote themselves to my cause and help me with the details of the dream so there can even BE a dream.
- 1 or 2 Development officers who share the dream and can help me find Donors, Grants, and springbard (haha, typo I'm keeping) ideas for money-raising to build the dream on.
- 1 or 2 Education Consultants who help me bring the dream to schools and lay out facts to help me with lesson plans. (Alie and my contacts inside the Folger will probably do this for me!)
- A Company of Artists - playwrights, actors, directors, teachers, designers (budding or professional) who share the dream and bring their vision to it in order to make it happen.

Possible? SURELY! The only problem is, I need to keep in touch with DC while I'm in NYC. There's no set date on our return, so I don't know when that will be.

Oh my god - I want this so badly. The thing is, every other week there's something I want this badly. So I want to keep this dream alive - which is why I'm sharing it with you. You know about the dream - keep this dream alive!!!! I am like THIS CLOSE to writing up a mission statement and putting this all on paper.

Will I get the Warehouse? Probably not. By the time I get back it'll either have been demolished or be a Denny's. But I can hope - and I can hopefully keep so well in touch with DC that when I get back it's as if I'd never gone. Also, when I have a 212 area code, maybe DC will hire me.

OH, and this isn't coming out of any raw burn from not working as much as I want to in theatre and so being like "well if I can't work for you, I'll work for myself!" No. This is a valid hope, I think, and one I want to make happen. I can't do it alone. I will need help and time and careful planning. I just hope I'm up to it.

Mullen, when are you moving back to DC? :-)

EDIT: Ten minutes later (No, it needs to be the warehouse because it's the closest thing to an Elizabethan stage DC has and I don't want to build a new space because I love the Warehouse environment and can totally see it meaning ADAPTATION of SK and not WE'RE DOING SK. Make sense? It does to me which is why I'm publishing this.)

Oi'm 'En-e-ry the ATHE oi am, oi am...

2009-02-13T13:59:00.002-05:00

Hello!

On a more positive note - I've finally bridged the gap to non-fiction (after talking about it for more than a year...) Last week I read Shakespearean Afterlives and loved it so much I reviewed it on Amazon.com! Now I'm reading The Six Wives of Henry VIII by Alison Weir, considered the definitive look at these women's lives. They. Are so. Fascinating. I mean seriously - strong, interesting, clever women who faced the biggest tyrant with passion and perseverence. Except for Katherine Howard - she was just a ho.

DID YOU KNOW Jane Seymour was actually kinda a skank? She knew what she was doing, and played all innocent, employing the EXACT same tactics that Anne Boleyn used on Henry. But because Anne was a less beloved Queen than Katherine of Aragon had been, it went much faster for Jane (7 months as opposed to the 7 years Anne had to keep Henry dangling).

ALSO, gross fact: everyone had affairs back then (ew) but DID YOU KNOW that Jane Seymour's father had an affair with his eldest son's wife, which threw the paternity of their kids into question? The son, Edward, packed his wife off to a nunnery, disowned his kids, and wouldn't speak to his dad for years. They reconciled in time to get Jane on the throne, though. Yuk.

I think I want to rewrite this history for liberal high schools. It would go something like this:

So there was this king, right? Henry 8, and his dad (Henry 7, follow?) was a stingy bastard - saving as much dollars as he could. 8's brother, Arthur shoulda been king, but he died young, right after he got married, yo! How the suck is that!? Arthur had married Katherine of Aragon (remember Chris Columbus? Her parents were the ones who sent him to America!). But Katherine said that she and Arthur had never fucked, right, which in those times meant that their marriage pretty much never happened.

Ok - so our man 8 is now the Crown Prince - which was never supposed to have happened. He was being raised to be a priest or something, right? HOW COOL IS THAT!? Now he gets to be KING instead of a stupid poor secretary. Old Man 7 sees this, right, and immediately shuts 8 up in a room next to his so he can monitor the boy's behavior.

Meanwhile, Katherine is waiting and waiting and waiting to get married. 7 promises that 8 will marry her, but double deals with other countries behind her back. Her dad's pissed, btw.

YEARS and YEARS of waiting and poverty later, 7 dies and 8 marries Katherine, even though she had been married to his brother. Katherine is 6 years odler than 8, by the way, and by the standards of the times, she OLD. She was only 26, though, so you be the judge. They're married for 18 years - and Katherine only manages to have one living child before her lady-times stop and she can't get pregnant any more. She had 8 babies, but only princess Mary grew up. Being a girl. Mary couldn't exactly inherit 8's kingdom when he died, so 8 wasn't too happy.

Then 8 met this chick named Anne Boleyn, right? Now, 8 was kinda a man-ho, and had sexed up a whole bunch of people including Anne's sister Mary (Mary Boleyn, not his daughter). He was even baby-daddy to this kid named Henry Fitzroy by this skank named Bessie Blount. Katherine wasn't happy about this (would you be?) but accepted this shit as normal for a royal married life. THAT IS THE SUCK!

Anne, on the other hand, wouldn't let herself be sexed up by our man 8. She wanted to be queen, not some one-night ho. So she planted ideas in Henry's head about her being able to have sons that he needed to keep the throne secure and all. But she wouldn't have no bastard. Had to be legit. So Henry applies for a divorce from Katherine.

It's not like now where you can go down the street to a divorce lawyer. You had to have a really good reason to want to get separated, and needed the approval of the Pope. The Pope wouldn't grant his approval (after 7 years of wishy-washying around) and by then 8 had already taken matters into his own hands and made himself head of the church in England. Now England's pissed, Katherine's pissed, and Anne is still waiting. Katherine insists she is 8's lawful wife, and has to stand there while her sexual history is dragged into the public eye.

8, as head of England, says Katherine isn't his wife, w/e, and marries Anne. Anne's head got WAY big after that and she treats everyone like shit. She makes enemies out of just about everyone, and even poisons a few people who stand in her way. 8's not too happy about that, and he's still sexing up other people, which Anne does not take well. She publicly yells at 8 for it, and he tells her that better women than herself stood for it so STFU!!!

Anne has one baby that lives, also. Also a girl. Elizabeth. 8 blames Anne for not having male children and looks for a way out. Meanwhile, Katherine has died - abandoned and practically alone in a small uncomfortable house miles from 8 - still claiming to be his wife. It looks bad for Anne, because they think Katherine was poisoned, even though we know now that Katherine had cancer on her heart.

8 makes his advisor, Cromwell, create a false story about how Anne sexed up a whole bunch of mens and talked about killing 8 - treason, in those days. One of the men they accuse her of sexing is her own brother! Ew. 8 has already decided to marry Jane Seymore, who also refuses to be sexed until she's Queen.

Anne and 5 men (including her brother and her musician) were condemned to death for treason, even though there was no real evidence against them. They were very brave and died well. Anne went a bit crazy waiting to die, because she had climbed so high and fell so far. 8 didn't go to see her die, but went off to be with his lady Jane as soon as he was a "bachelor" again.

that's all for now.

With Nice Weather Comes Some Resolution

2009-02-11T15:52:00.003-05:00

Hello All!

It's been a nice few days away from the show - and before I dive back in for the weekend, I wanted to update on the "sitch."

Not that it's changed, mind you, but I got to talk to Kakerley.

Last night I met up with Angelyn on campus to drop off her letters'o'recommendation. (Adult, much?) Anyway, she told me she had rehearsal with Kathleen, so I tagged along to Hartke to see whom I could see, and hopefully catch Kathleen. Because I never emailed or called her despite my last email - and I know my opinion is valued, too.

When she turned the corner, she immediately launched into it - we both needed to make sure the other heard our side! I told her that, yeah, I was frustrated with the line-thing, but I consider it my job as an actor to do what I've rehearsed to do, and trust that when my director tells me it flies by - it DOES. :-/

However, the actor in question was already well aware of his situation. Minor cuts had been made when it first became apparent. He even asked Kathleen to yell at him during tech week, which she outright refused to do. "I can be a dragon, but I'm not going to yell at someone who knows they're doing something wrong!" I know that that was one of my initial arguments, and I see now, knowing that, that Kathleen handled the situation correctly. We shoulnd't have needed that scene to play out with him being publicly reprimanded - if anything we might have even less morale.

Apparently, the actor who called her in the first place said two things which struck Kathleen: 1) the actors feel un-appreciated in this situation, and 2) it's de-moralizing to be in a "bad show." Response 1) "I'm not even going to be horrified about that," said Kathleen, she asked us every day during tech, and even pulled people aside to ask "do you have any problems?" and ALWAYS always encouraged us to call or email her if we did. I know I called her as soon as I realized Leukemia wasn't working in rehearsal - and it got fixed! Response 2) This is what made Kathleen see that she wasn't going to be able to say, you know, it's open - it's not my problem anymore - deal with it. When the cast attitude is that intensely low she felt she needed to step in and do something.

That something was to make cuts. I assured her that the bit I lost would not be missed so much by me. It even would have made the suggestion list, had I made one. I assured Kathleen that it is not a bad show, but I can agree that it's a bit disheartening to be in a show with low cast morale. It made Red Noses so hard to do week after week - not only because the audience sucked, but because there was so much negativity backstage!

I only wish my parents could have seen the uncut show. Ah well.

Head down - shoulders up - chin out. It's time to Rock and Roll!

Trouble With Theatre

2009-02-09T12:09:00.003-05:00

Hello. Our Opening happened. I can't say it went well. I will tell you why in a minute, I just wanted to preface this with the fact that this weekend REALLY made me think about why I do Theatre.

For the 3rd time - out of 3, mind you - I am performing in a show with mild to no audience response. Opening Night Crowd - you were nice, but you're supposed to be. Everyone else has fallen asleep, opened candy, half-heartedly chuckled, or not chuckled at all. It's not like I think that everyone must be streaming tears of mirth, but it would be nice to get some energy back because...

It is (was) a 3.5 hour show. Being that energetic for that long can kill a person who swings as low as I do on down days. No response? none? I'm about to go RED NOSES on they asses!

3 weeks more.

Here's my big issue, the reason I am as upset as I am: I don't get to work as an actor much, and in this economy I know that not many theatres I could work in are a) going to do big shows or b) going to use new people. That leaves me with WSC or Journeyman for next season IF I get called to audition (I'll bitch about invite-only another time). Not that these aren't swell companies to work for, but I want to branch out. I only have 4 years left in DC, and I want to use them WELL. I've been out of school for almost 2 years, and all I have accomplished as an actors is 3 shows with lousy press and even lousier cast-attitude. I want to be in a show where I am proud of not only my own performance (because I am for this one), but also of the show and the cast. I'm just so tired of pettiness and littleness and bringing it into something that isn't about US, but about doing a job, playing our roles, and entertaining people as best we can.

Bitch-out.

In the infamous words of Jekyll and Hyde: Bitch Bitch Bitch!

2009-02-02T09:52:00.000-05:00

Ok, I finally have something to complain about so I’ll complain about it here.

I am so sick of sitting in on meetings. Meetings meetings meetings that have nothing to do with my position or anything I do except that I report to people above me that it does have to do with. Docent Meetings, Budget Meetings, Birthday Meetings – I am sick of you. If I have to hear one more backtracking, waffling, circular argument AGAINST whatever it is I or my Department are presenting, I swear I will wipe that smug smirk off of your face faster than you can say “well I never even read Shakespeare.”

To sit there, and argue for 30 minutes how an assignment like the one we propose needs firmer guidelines or we won’t know where to take it is ridiculous. Especially when you then basically OPPOSE that statement and say “well of course designers will approach it more creatively than we will.” That is the thought I was mentally trying to pound into your heads for the last Hour. You are Suits. What do you think this event is? I still haven’t told any of you that I left after 30 minutes the first and only time I came because it was so entirely lame. You’re not exactly working to make it less lame.

Out with the Old. In with the New. I was afraid of this before, but I am so set on it now. This is GOING to be the best ever.

So anyway J

I just got over a bout of what must have been either 24 hour Flu or Food Poisoning. All I know is I was laid up in bed for a day and a half just sleeping and moaning and puling. Lovely story. Lovlier pictures, had any been taken, I’m sure.

We begin Tech for Inspector General tonight. Gotta say, as we get closer to Opening, I feel more and more like the least talented person there. Or, barring that, perhaps I am talented, but the Most Afraid person there. I don’t feel as confident as I did two weeks ago. Or even one week ago. I’m not that funny, my faces all look the same, are you SERIOUSLY going to make me play that character in a DRESS!? Sort of thing. Also, I’m not so good with the physical comedy. There’s a bit I have where a stuffed dog attacks my neck. That’s a very cinematic bit. I’ve never done it before. I did not propose it in rehearsal. And yet, I’ve been attempting it for 2 weeks with little success. I was not taking it seriously. But seriously? How is that supposed to work? No, I don’t know. Please cut my bit as a sacrfice – the first of, I hope, many tiny bits that add an unneccessary 30 minutes to our production.

I wrote this on Friday. I'll write more later.

Hi... It's a New Year

2009-01-07T12:55:00.003-05:00

HOW DO I NEVER POST?!?!

Ok, so, sorry and all that jazz. No, you know what? I'm NOT sorry! I have a life beyond the interwebs! I DO!

So. What’s new with me? WELL!

For Christmas I received 4 seasons of 3rd Rock from the Sun, easily one of my favorite shows next to Scrubs. And now we have finished watching 4 seasons of 3rd Rock. 5 and 6 are on order from Border.com, but it’s kinda a relief to be done for awhile. I mean, we didn’t even watch any of the awesome movies we got for Christmas! (Tropic Thunder, Dark Knight, Wall-E, Iron Man, Prince Caspian)

However, my excuse is that I’m using Harry, Sally, Vickie Dubcek, and Mary (a little) as research for my characters in Inspector General. Kathleen said it was ok to steal bits and things from anything we wanted, so I am! Although she thought my first character was outta the Coen Bros. That’s ok. She said it reminded her of Frances McDormand and there are MUCH worse people to be compared to!

Oh, and it’s official: I’m Manhood til the day I leave DC. I think it’s kinda cool. It’s a surprising nickname that you wouldn’t expect to hear on little ol’ me, so it makes me just a bit more memorable. If you don’t 'member me already…

Leagues are coming up. Signed up for that and now I have to change dates cos of work again. Great. Damn 9 to 5.

My parents liked Christmas this year, I think! That’s an improvement. Also, I’ve decided that we’re having a super-small, not a lot of planning necessary, CLOSE friends and family ONLY Wedding. I had to sit through about an hour of discussion at Christmas dinner about wedding planning, and I have friends in the midst of planning, and even with a ring on my lefty I do not like the idea of sifting through calligraphy fonts and stressing about how many roses there are! I’m still going to get a nice dress, and my ‘maids will have great cute dresses too (there may still only be the two… it’s so HARD) but we’re not having a 400-person wedding followed by a catered reception! We’re having a small affair with a cozy reception followed by an anniversary party the likes of which have never been seen! Unless you watched “My Super-Sweet 16” because then you’ll have ideas too grandiose for anything I’m planning…

Geraniums in bloom in my window. Homemade Caramel Latte on my desk (because Andrew got an Espresso Machine for Christmas!!).

On a note related to rehearsals for Inspector, I HATE WMATA!!! Time and Again they fail me! New Year’s Day I spent 45 minutes waiting for a bus that apparently doesn’t run on holidays (no sign?) and the bus the website told me to take instead ended up not having the stop it told me to get off at and I had to ride the WHOLE circuit (tour of Arlington, Shirlington, and Crystal City) ending up 30 minutes late for rehearsal. THEN the next night, as I waited for the bus to pick me up after being released early – the Bus friggin DROVE BY ME! I was in light, right under the bus stop sign, and he drove by! Ass. So then I waited for the next one in the middle of the road waving my iPhone. It worked anyway. I got home. I hate WMATA Buses and Virginia. There.

Similarly, I await Inauguration Day for both Good and Bad Reasons!
1. New President! Not an embarrassment! GOOOD!
2. Our rehearsals move to CUA, which is 3 metro stops from my apartment. Bad Caitlin.
3. No Work for 4 days in a row: Weekend, MLKJ Day, Inauguration!!! Bad Caitlin.
4. New Totally Awesome President! YAY! Good!

Smile. It makes the Rain Stop. <3

Sheepish Holiday Greetings...

2008-12-22T16:18:00.002-05:00

Hi...

Sorry for dropping off the map and everything. I mean, I was in Hanut, Brussels, Bruges, Paris, Liege and back to Hanut - all in 10 days - a baby was unexpectedly born in Andrew's family, we ate ourselves SILLY, saw more Christmas markets than there are people in DC, and ate too much! I met more family, heard more French, and ate more food than I knew what to do with!

Andrew has the pictures, and he will the the one posting them on F-book. Sorry, that's just how it goes. :-) I'm at work!

UPDATE: Guy-With-Annoying signs is afraid of me now! Or at least doesn't name-call anymore. Last week, I got off the metro, saw him, retorted my usual "I'm NOT," etc. And the next day... He name-called the guy next to me, I looked at him, and he said "Morning Ma'am." HAHA! CSmith 1, Annoying Guy 0! TAKE THAT! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Merry Christmas, btw. Since, you know, I'm obviously jolly...

UmmmmmmBack at work, where I was mired for a good long while, but not anymore! I've been recommended for permanent status on account'a I'm awesome! No, really, I was in a 3 month probationary period (I know, I've only been here for 3 months? wow!) and I'm so awesome that I've been recommended to stay on. I mean, there was no question, but still... I'm awesome. Shut up. I am.

THE YELLOW ONES DON'T STOP!

Ok, and I'm going to see ALICE tonight since I love that story and since there were still comps and since Megan's going. I should be home before I pass out...

Because Belgium turned Andrew and I into Old People. Now we PASS THE EFF OUT at 10pm (maybe we make it to 11) and wake up at 6am. WTF?!? I mean, I still roll around in bed and don't get up until 7:30, but 6?!?!? WTF is a 20-something going to do at 6am!?!? Hmph.

Side note: Weimaraner = Awesome Dog.
Linderman's Kriek = tolerable beer.

Peace

LET IT BEGIN!!!

2008-12-02T14:13:00.004-05:00

About the only reason I want to see BOLT is for that Hamster. I'll wait...

I forgot to say how much fun I had at home last week! Dad made really good food for Thanksgiving - all the traditions, as well as Pea Champ (mashed potatoes with garlic, onions, and peas! actually, good!) and I ate it all weekend. Dad and I caught up with some tv watching, trading favorite episodes (hey, it's what we do!) and mom and I had some time together walking and arguing (hey, it's what we do!).

Brendan only really showed up to dinner on Thursday. His new job at Shore Stop takes up a lot of his time.

BUT I GOT TO SEE BECCA!!!! TWICE!!! We went out for dinner at the newly re-opened La Tonalteca in Dover (where our waiter, and another waiter, stopped for conversation OFTEN. like, uncomfortably much). Laura and Dani, Becca's friend and Covenant roomate, came too! It was a really fun time. So fun, that we went out for drinks after. Now, Dover's not exactly got a hopping night life - but there is a new bar: McGlynn's (McGinty's knock off?) on the lake. So we went! And got very tart drinks. After scoping the bar for a bit from our booth, and determining our waitress hated us (with reason), we left.

Becca, Dani, and I met up the next day to go shopping. Instead of going to the Dover Mall, we drove to Annapolis (to the amazing mall). It took a lot out of us to just traverse the mall! Tiring, but fun. And no Old Navy! I ask you, what mall doesn't have an Old Navy?! Hmph.

Also, Becca is now one of my Bridesmaids. She's one of my oldest, bestest friends, so I needed to have her! Yay! Now All I need is one more blonde Taurus and my set is complete! Just kidding. That's a hard decision that I'm not ready to make yet. I only get to ask 1 or 2 more friends to stand by me on that day, and I honestly don't know who it's going to be yet! Too many loves. It's going to be tough choosing, I can tell you that!

Yesterday I met up with Zanderson (Kirsten Anderson), one of my college roomates and awesome person, for dinner and The Movie. We caught up on the past year, which was great. She apparently had a great time in Korea! And by The Movie I do mean Twilight. And I have to say, movie: better than the book! Why!? Because I wasn't subjected to Bella's every inane, vapid thought! Kirsten was bothered that she never smiled, and that the movie was so EMO (it was). But there's no not-awkward way to say any of the things those kids had to say, and it honestly had some great moments. Congrats! The movie doesn't suck!

Manyhoodly, LET TOMORROW BE OVER SO I CAN GET GONE TO EUROPE ALREADY!!!!

I was Too Busy

2008-12-01T15:56:00.002-05:00

I just looked at my totals for this year as far as time/effort/income/expenses are concerned.

I worked a total of 48 weeks in Theatre Work this year. I thought, that can't be right... but it is! Jan-Mar (Hedda) Apr-May (Oresteia) May-Jul (Red Noses) Jun-Aug (Theories) Sep-Nov (Punch). Ummm that leaves the 4 weeks of December... (one of which is rehearsals for INSPECTOR) so... wow!

However, I'm only scheduled for 8 weeks next year - the remaining rehearsals and performances of INSPECTOR. So... Get on Hiring me, people! Yay!

And I realized that I'm not exactly great financially. Oh, I'm ok. I'll be fine. But not well off by any means. I probably should plan on getting a flexible PT in March after my show's over. Maybe at Woolly or something. SOMETHING to rake in a few extra a week! I don't want to be busy, but I do need to have enough money to make this whole thing worth it! I've also got a wedding to pay for soon(ish) so... Get on Hiring me, people! Yay!

ANDREW'S HOME!!! I cannot express my joy enough! It seemed like he was gone for so long. But he's back, and we leave in 3 days for Belgium, and we're engaged, and that's all that matters really...

Dream I'm remembering

2008-11-26T09:44:00.003-05:00

Last night's dream took place all over what i have to assume is the Hartke building because there were rehearsals and art work and tension...

the clearest part of the dream is that there was a beautiful white dappled horse, which Ashton Kutcher was riding. He was pressing this horse to do some trick or other, and when it finally did, it landed funny and said "ow." The horse said "ow." So I jumped in to fix it. And it turns its foot to me and it's a splinter. Or something. Something small is stuck in this horse's surprisingly non-equine meaty foot. It's acting like a real baby, too, and so is Ashton. as I work, Ashton says (very seriously) "Marry me, you could take care of me forever!" and it's his foot I'm working on. I tell him quietly "I'm already engaged. You know that." And then we both laugh about it.

Sources: The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (which is Hamlet on a dog farm up north. really good, actually)
That 70s Show which I was watching before bed
My Ring from My Fiancee.

I don't know where the horse came from...

Person I Hate #436

2008-11-21T13:25:00.003-05:00

That guy who stands outside of Union Station with his big paper signs and liberal agenda (which is all well and good, but...) CALLING PEOPLE WHO DON'T TALK TO HIM "Conservative."

At first I didn't notice - I liked his witty, if boring, signs, and respected his right to protest the Right Wing. And I was wearing earbuds. One day, I wasn't wearing earbuds. As I passed him, I heard clearly, distinctly: "Conservative."

I thought, no, no, this must be my ears playing tricks on me. Can't be. You can't call anyone a name just for not taking your propoganda!

This has been going on for months now, and I am quite certain that every time I or anyone else passes him and his little stupid sign, and don't take his stupid little brochures that he printed at Kinkos last night at 3am to spread his stupid anti-Palin (and who really needs that anymore?) rhetoric - he calls us "Conservative." Not just calls us... labels us. Spits the word on our work shoes and travel-sneakers. Slaps us across the face with the word as if we, by ignoring his singular person, are Conservatives.

This week, when he spat the word at me, I turned around and said (to his back), "I'm not a conservative, I just don't want to talk to you, thanks." and went to work. The next day, he flung it at me again. I resisted the urge to break his sign over my knee and push him into a taxi in the traffic circle, but I don't know that he'll remain that lucky. I changed my walking route today, but I can't tell if it's longer than the way I usually go. If it is longer - i'm totally breaking his stupid re-used signs... and maybe his back.

Just... seriously? I mean, I don't want to talk to YOU, guy! Not talking to you doesn't make me an uber-right wing - i love FOX news - yay-prop8 - anti-progressive CONSERVATIVE! I'm Fucking Liberal! I wear chucks to work! I mean COME ON! First rule - KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!! Why label everyone so generally? Because I don't want to talk to you, I am now a conservative? HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!?!

Also, what purpose do you serve anymore!? The Democrats are in the White House and Majority in the Senate! While, yes, we are still under Bush until 1.20.09, we freakin' WON, dude! Why are you still outside of Union Station protesting a group who has already fallen? I mean, way to kick'em when they're down! Because you know what? Your one sign will KEEP them down. Yeah - your sign is the one thing stopping a huge Republican Uprising. IN FACT, YOUR SIGN is the ONLY thing between US and a BUSH/PALIN ticket! (And I do mean the twins) WAY TO GO, GUY!

Damnit. I don't like him AT ALL!

The Chronicles of Andy and Olive - the Long Distance Puppies

2008-11-18T18:57:00.003-05:00

To see the punchlines, you probably have to click on each one. Sorry.

The Down Side to this

2008-11-14T15:08:00.002-05:00

Now that I'm allowed to have concrete ideas - I want to!

I know that there's another 4 ish years between now and the day of the wedding. I know this. I know... but...

I CAN'T HELP THAT THE INTERNET MAKES EVERYTHING SO READILY ACCESSIBLE!!!

David's Bridal ... DOT COM
Macy's Wedding Registry ... DOT COM
Facebook ... WEDDING BOOK

AAAAAAAAAAUGH!

I'm forcing myself to stop and actually do work at work... but how am I going to go 4 years looking at all of this and WAITING?! I waited 4 years for the proposal! 4 years to plan a wedding?!? BUAGAHH!

Um, if my flight to Detroit was any indication, I'm terribly impatient. So... yeah... this is going to be tough!

Oh, the reason I have to wait that long is that if Andrew gets into Yale next fall (or even the fall after) I want to wait until he's done because A) I'm not going to New Haven (had that talk), and B) I don't want to spend our first months/years as a married couple in separate states! Rational - yes. Preferable - no! Hmmmm, let's clone Andrew. That way I can still have the date that I want (that no matter what will NOT work with him going to Yale) and the wedding and everything, and he can go to school!

Also, the clone will have an "off" switch and the capacity to share his memories and thoughts with "original Andrew." Also, I am apparently insane. :-)

An Impulsive Adventure (that pays off for life!)

2008-11-12T09:22:00.005-05:00

Hello!

Ok, Out with it, CSmith...

I'M ENGAGED! To ANDREW! YAY!!!

Here's how it went down:
My impulsive flight landed and he met me at the Terminal (apparently chickening out - later telling me that he thought I wanted a private proposal). We went to his car - I teased him the whole way about his new Winter-wear. In retrospect, he seemed jittery.
Once in the car he kissed me very forcefully (hey, we hadn't seen each other in 6 weeks!). He said, "I have a question to ask you,"
Now, he is VERY fond of teasing me, and ESPECIALLY fond of teasing me about us getting hitched. So I saw this a Bullshit. I gave him a sidelong glance, waiting for him to say, "did you remember to bring socks?"
"I hate being away from you," was what he actually said. "I know," I said, stupidly.
Then he reached into his pocket and produced this BEAUTIFUL ring (see Facebook for pictures) and said THE words: "Will You Marry Me?"
Somewhere in there the ring was on my finger, and I was kissing him, and we both teared up, and I must have said yes, so... YEAH! We're engaged!!!

Some of the best responses so far,
Dad: "Oh... wow! I mean, how are you? Tell him I'm polishing my shotgun right now."
Mom: "Oh you're engaged! That's great! I'm so glad it's not the other thing."
Tolmie: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Reichelt: (happy dance over the phone, very impressive!)
A$: "WHOA!" (she also said YES to me! To be my maid of honor! YAY!!!)
Erica: "why? Oh, you said Engaged? I thought you said 'I'm great!'"
Becca: "awwwwwww"
Melissa: "are you getting a puppy?"
Mommom: "Wow, to Andrew? Wow!"
Dan Brinker (Andrew's boss in Detroit): "Hey, he's your problem now!"
Spencer (Andrew's little bro): "So does this mean I'm going to be an uncle?"

And Facebook:
(from Andrew's) "Uh oh, does Caitlin know?" - Grims
"That kicks so much butt..." - Armstrong
"way to join the marrieds, quitter" - Grastorf
"Will that be Colonol Brooks Tavern that you'll remember forever?" - Kaleba

Thanks to everyone who sent us love so far, and for the love to come!!! I've been welcomed into his family, and he hasn't been shunned from mine!

Now, we won't set a date until we hear from Yale about his Masters Education - so don't ask! It's not tomorrow, and it's NOT in Vegas, Andrew...

THOUGHTS

2008-11-10T13:54:00.002-05:00

I have a lot of dem.

1) I've been thinking lately - how can I incorporate my fascination for fiction based on Shakespeare into a suggested lesson plan? I don't need to do this for work or anything, but it's something I'm thinking about and want to hone in on as a teaching tool. I do realize that relating Shakespeare to modern novels and modern time is more important, but I love the emotional and cultural richness of a lot of these novels. The Reader emotes with the characters in these plots, and can see the nuances of sub-plots (very often the novels ARE subplots) by seeing the characters from a different perspective and discussing their motives. [pant pant pant] Yeah, I want to figure this one out - I think there's something in it.

2) I'm going to DETROIT tonight!!! I got to work, saw that I had forgotten that I have tomorrow off, and went straight to Expedia.com to look at flights. I did all the math for next month's income/projected expenses, conferred with Andrew about timing (how romantic), and Booked That Bitch! I'm very excited, and a very very very small part of me is apalled at my impulsiveness. Wheeee!

3) I love knowing I have HBO. I also hate knowing that I have HBO. There is always something on! Even if nothing's on, you can watch HBOle for about 10 minutes to laugh at how Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix sounds en espanol! Ah, movies.

4) Punch is going REALLY well! Audiences seem to love it!

5) I can't remember the other thoughts - other than that OREO-Cheesecake-Pie is delicious, and I'm not sorry that i ate one for dinner last Wednesday. (I was Recouping, ok!?)

Couple Days Too Late

2008-11-06T00:10:00.002-05:00

IT'S AWESOME!

I know this is all over so I'm unoriginal, BUT

I am so proud of my country right now. For serious.

Honestly, it was the VP pick that did it for me. Making the choice that is best for your country and not your campaign. Done.

I have friends in both camps, so I won't gush - but I am happy that I got to see this defining moment of our nation's history, and truly TRULY look forward to 1/20/09 like it's another Christmas!

Shakespeare RE-told: Taming of the Shrew

2008-10-30T00:06:00.002-04:00

Commentary by A$, ERTennyson, and CSmith... and Starring Hermione...

[gasp] Twiggy? Sweet!

You need a friend named E$ and T$

She kinda looks like Eli in Laws of Construction

He Heee her face!

I can scoot over,

that's cool

whoa myrtle!

you're definitely moaning in this!

otherwise?

whoa! that was awesome

oh i thought it was Tim Gunn

please wrote that you said that

that would be funny

and that Mullen wrote - i mean said that "

I did!

Teacher has good Englishee

Wow this was by shakespeare?

Who's he?

I think he wrote Oedipus

you're so stupid

I don't even need to talk for this one!

she's just so little!

yeah

this part of her neck scares me

look at her shoulders go

she walks kinda like a linebacker

I didn't realize Moaning Myrtle was so old... I'm kinda disturbed by the prefects bathroom scene now.

she works the cameras man!

biancaaaaa

what?

aaaand i hate you

ewwwww

that's a good face - [gasp] betty ann!

her lips!

oh my god, oh my god, Myrtle!

oooooh

harsh!

TWIGGY!!

I'd rather see Tyra.

meet? you picked him out!

creeper.

nice mother-daughter relationship

whoa!

sit down

I think they want her to sit down

OH SHI -

She did the real table throw-over. I just do the fake do...

Andrea, I think you just "fake-do" life

oh jeez

she's having a lot of fun with her little box... it's kinda distracting

REALLY? This is really your life?

smart cat - litter box... andrea's suitcase....

suspicious

oh, difficult life...

[shakes head]

shut up

19?!? How old are you?

what?!!?

does he speak English at all?

drinkin away the problems

you know all about that Mullen

yup

[big laugh]

ow, looked like that hurt

definitely done that before...

really, you have to get in that much? that eager?

WHOA!

i recognize that actor

Knight's tale

I was going to say - villain in knight's tale? i recognize his crazy eyes.

I like his pimp coat - like a porn man's pimp coat

not real

like a FIMP coat

brits can say anything!

oh my god

they can it's not fair!

:-O

they're not beating about the bush, are they?

she's unattractive

we don't like her

good

ugh

wow

big appetite

oh - was he doing yoga? or vomiting? I'm really not sure.

[litterbox]

Hermione hears it!

does she like to watch it or something?

she's curious, i don't know

I just associated it with a child flushing the toilet and being so interested

wow

what's going on!

wanna bet?

i don't think she's seen this movie.

derrr derr derrrr

when did we get to the 70s?

yeah I'm confused... is is Halloween?

whoa

oh my gosh

wow

what is going on in English fashion?

the Fimp coat and marijuana leaves

good lord

what kind of person is she in general since she's typecast as bitter...

Gollum

...women

well in Bridget jones' diary she was kinda normal

yeah

...Gollum

he's like three times her size

I'm kinda thinkin it's stuck

really oppressive snarl

she's like the scariest Kate I've ever seen

I've never seen a Kate who would scratch someone's eyes out and EAT them afterwards!

ooooh

[clapping]

oh my god...

Hermione trying ot use my computer?

she might be

or smelling the Egyptian perfume... or the poptarts

Goyaba y Mango

why does she look so much like a duck?

baldilocks

oh?

his delivery's impeccable

so good

[phone]

someone's calling me

wanna pause it?

no, that's ok it's Cassie! Hi!

we should pause...

[brief interlude - while A$ sings indiana jones theme over and over and over with increasing intensity before saying "i'm done" and ERTennyson talks on the phone]

crazy

awesome

sorry ... intermission - really early in the play

I thought he said "I don't want a salad!" and I was like, i wouldn't eat anything that came out of that kitchen either!

oh no

Hermione is ready to pounce!

seriously

she's ready

oh hi

wassup?

she's like testing a little bit

there you go

oh oh

Denied!

she didn't like this mug

she is a mouth-sniffer, just so you're aware

yeah, she did earlier

not before the wedding? that's kinda harsh.

nice sound effects...

pffffff

ugh

[gasp]

really? today has to be the day?

obviously the plot has to move forward, Andrea.

that's the second time you've had to be told that Andrea

what is on your head, Twiggy!

I don't know who won - the hat or the bird?

that's the difference between them

did she drink a lot during the pregnancy or something?

WHOA!

OH MY GOD she's so great!

whoa...

oh my gosh

tsk

ohhh

his side only has one person! that's awesome!

whoa, welcome to five minutes ago...

and the baby's still crying

i would be too

that was awful

no kidding

to the 19 year old?

oh good grief

i love how she's walking

still wearing it...

I didn't notice the tights before

awwwww

wha - jeez!

you really hate him right now. not a fan

ha ha ha haaaa!

[gasp]

wow

that's like what psychopathic murderers do. that's all i can say... we're stranded

this is hell right here - honeymoon and wedding hell.

uuuugh

does she have purple hair? I mean I know she doesn't, but it looks purple.

yeah it looks like it

it's like she's going mad and purple's sprouting from her head.

please stop, please?

oh my god this is my favorite one so far.

she's like an animal

Figaro

my parents just saw Barber of Seville this week

oh yeah?

yeah

do you have any advil, Caitlin?

yeah

I have some in my backpack

it's in the bathroom... mirror

[A$ couldn't find it]

:-O

oh gosh

oh my god

she still doesn't have any clothes?

just writing that down is funny cos no one can see that she's wearing her wedding dress

i think this is another sad clown

he is s sad clown

yes

maybe you shouldn't wear the white suit and that would help

and the target tee shirt

[sneeze]

bless you

so he's more, um, Bianca's type I think

19? she's gotta go lower

she and Tom Cruise would get along

[yowl]

[crackle]

[yowl]

that tail's gonna getcha!

how long you think before she figures out that she's the one moving it?

WHOA

this is gonna be good

oh!

what?

WHOA!

there's a change

now he's just there awkward

look at those glasses

they obviously match his blue and red target, can't expect them to match his lapel decor

[yowl]

she's so mad at it!

what are you doing here? why do you keep coming here?

she seems much better

no growling or anything

significant lack of snarling is what it is

do you even speak English at all?

oooooooh

i like how the translator translates the insulting tone as well

OH MY GOD she's back!

oh!

aww

oops

s'ok there's nothing there

oh!

or ok yes

what?!

[yowl]

wow

and now she's running away from it

Hermione!

is that what you were wearing on your wedding day?

hello pot? this is the kettle. you're black.

aww

WHOA

WHAT?!?

how do you know that?!?

Fimp coat on there

Oh my god, that is mizarre

awwww

wow

that was strange and funny

he did say it would be a long and interesting marriage... I approve.

BUM BUM BUM BUMMMMMM

are you done

I guess, everyone stopped talking

AaaaaahhhhhH!!!!!

shut up

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Now we're done

ok.

YAY! Another one down.

Shakespeare RE-told: Much Ado About Nothing

2008-10-29T00:02:00.006-04:00

now with A$ and CSmith Commentary. Watch a movie with the Awesome Twosome!! Just play the DVD and read along! Brilliant!

I know that guy from a mini-series!

[dancing]

Whoa

You know her too

Who? Yeah, she looks familiar!

Her? No, I don't know, but the black chick.

Oh yeah, let's go back.

go'n

Claude...

Is that celsius?

Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what they use there.

NO [Hermione goes for the cheesecake]

Thanks, B

Doo doo dood ooodooooooo

Hermione, that's not your Diet Coke, is it?

Ohno!

Yes

Hermione's looking at you

Whatcha doin there?

writing the commentary.

oh nice!

what was the thing we watched junior year? the Felicity Story? And we wrote down our commentary and it was the guy from Air Bud!

Whoa Donald!

Not going to work that way, heh heh heh heh

Of course you have a lot of weather.

Did he just say "the M word?" as in "marriage? They've been dating for like two hours!

Welcome to Shakespeare!

But this is Shakespeare in Real Time!

oohhhhh. Velociraptor!

ooooooooooh

What!?

Is that Claude? Yup.

It just... got... weird.

Why do brits dress up like Marilyn Monroe?

Dunno... uh oh

I've got to GIVE myself just one more chance... - Siscer Sisters

OMIGOD how do you spell scissor? Oh.

Come on, come on...

Who was that girl you were talking about?

WHOA!

OH! Love, actually! Prime Minister!

You got it before I did, I had to imdb it.

Awww...

Sick and sad

wait - which is the one... SIS!

Oh god...

I love her costume

yeah, Elizabeth? That's great!

that pie was good...

Love is a mystery...

that MAID dancing in the back!

you're disgusting

yeah

[gasp!]

Nooooooo-wuh. Not ok.

You should never sleep with someone because you pity them

stupid move

but I have to!

And now I can't write "but I have to" because it looks like it's in reference to the sex, but it's because in writing they can't see that you're pointing to what I've written!

stupid move

[dancing]

Dancing by the pool seems like a bad idea to me - you could take a tumble!

I can hardly wait to hold you, feel my arms around you

Me love you?

Blech

WHAT?!?

ok, two hours and 45 minutes - and then it's marriage?!

little aaaaaahhhhh ridiculous

gotta advance the plot somehow

Don's not going to be happy

Oh MAN!

dumbass

howcanyouapproveofthis!?

that's all I gotta say to that: just a shake of the head.

'I don't hate women...

I love women!'

hey you!

tsk. DANG she told him!

[gasp]

NICE

oooh, BITCH! YEAYAH!

take that!

what'd you say?

take that!

this is awesome

oh man! 'I don't hate women...' DANG -

stop!

Oh and the wedding is like two days away!

that's not ok to say

MATRON MEANS YOU"RE MARRIED

Hero's not too smart is she?

stop you're going too fast!

of course it is.

That was so good! Goood face day!

pfffff

Mullen it's like you!

What?

in the mirror.

I've got nothing to say to that

what'd you say?

who's doing that?

Now this is almost as good as Branagh's scene... the one in the garden?

Oh yeah yeah! Yeah that's well done.

that was awful/so good

I need to go put the laundry in the dryer after this scene

uh oh - OOOOH!

no way

oh my god, he thinks he's invisible!

amazing...

nice! yes!!

ok, brb

[she loves me not]

pause?

I don't know anymore!

puase - this is too good!

I love that this is going on your blog - this is too good!

AnDREA SHUT UP!!

Amazing!

[brief interlude]

ok!

cuz she loves me!

pfft men

that's like straight outta Shakespeare

yeah, done well... HIS PICTURE! SO GOOD!

obsessed with me...

that was... perfect.

HA! Ha!

life...

[slow clap]

that was fantastic!

"I'm HORRibly in LOVE with her!" beautiful

wow... the brush [hand shake] off!

Woow.

freak...

whoa!

[clapping]

oh my gosh

what have you done?

she doesn't know what to say!

that's two words.

why is she wearing that outfit?

whoa!

what?!

THIS WEEKEND?!?!?

Calm. Down!

sad clown.

sad sad. "just a litttttle reminder of me!"

what's with all the wings?

but... why are they wearing wings?

[gasp]

WHOA!

that guy's eyes!

after three days.

this is just intense!

aaahhhhhhhh

[knee slap]

awesome face

whoaoooooaa

doo doo dooooooo

these people!

OF COURSE THEY LOVE ME OF COURSE!

guess that's like the new day window...

Whooosh!

so shaving makes you... dashing?

Guess so!

ooooohhhhhhhhhh

"I believe so?"

yes no yes no

a lock is pretty important in adjoining rooms

well said

[yowl]

WHAT?!

Whassup, hermione?

I liked that look

wha?

oh my god sad clown -

depressing

get a fucking life and less tense music

WHOA!

hmmm

tsk

you're such a LIAR

stop that!

yes! YES Claude!

a little bit of reason.

WHOA

ya know, since you got engaged two days ago

MAYBE you don't really know her!

Who played claud in the Branagh version?

A guy with three names?

Robert... something?

yeah!

he dated [name removed]!

No way!

yeah! they dated. in college.

is that really his pillows?

so I had to remove her name because you know it's personal

so what did you say?

[name removed]

ah, yeah, I was going to say something else about her, but I didn't want you to

He's so smart! He reads such big books!

Huh! Very original.

Hermione, what are you doing in my clothes? Nothing? ok.

love that one

aw look at 'im

he -

[pointing]

Antonio pose

yeah

in his black clothing...

make out

it's not a Xena episode! You can expect -

MACK!

MACK!!!

It looks like we're calling for Dr. Mack!

that's all I remember from that show.

Make OUT!

shifty eyes

his face is so good

mack mack mack

gotta go!

awkward!

nice face

just get RID of the SAD CLOWN!

moral: don't pity people - don't show people kindless... I mean kindness.

not when they're stalkers.

brrrr

whoa! but you're not!

TOOL!

GUILT GUILT!

[sigh] another sad clown

What does Hero do to these men? She poisons them -with her love!

You know you're going on record saying that.

Hold on, why is she wearing a white dress? Bridesmaids don't...

It's for symbolism later.

Hmm?

It's for symbolism later.

Ok. I don't understand, but...

that's supposed to be funny

[gasp]

seriously?!

wow, Othello much?

[GASP]

[gasp]

oh my god, before you were even together!

a week ago

ah jeez

it's true

oh, it's awful

now that's straight outta Branagh - that shot

see the symbolism

tsk how fitting

it's not even that white actually

awwww

wow!

are you crying?

no, I'm just saying "aw" there are no tears here!

arrrrrRRR!?

Excuse me!

look at that boutineer go!

[head shaking]

goodbye sad clown

yea you need to [snaps] ADIOS!

you didn't trust her at all!

truth!

true dat, T, true dat

yeah you're an idiot

Hermione, I can't type if you' e1111111111111111111111111111111111`

That makes no sense!

no, you did not!

[GASP]

This is supposed to be a comedy, right!?!?

OW! Hermione!

ok, that's just ridiculous

uh oh

yea, you screwed everything up. yeah.

miss you....

are you eyeing my cat?

squinting really.

i Hate YOU!

I hate Uncle Jaime

i love her [paws extended] thing

she clawed you man, she clawed you!

oh, it'll come back to her, dude!

look at this cat!

ooooooh yes

WOW

cos your engagement was like TWO DAYS!

WHAT?!

what?

ugh I hate this music

dun dundunlandun

she looks like Tina Fey

And why'd she come from that side?

For the camera angle

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

that's so cute!

It's over!

[snaps]

[dancing]

so what'd you think of that one?

Good! just different than i thought it would be

yeah, that's what I mean

I can see what you mean

Benedict and Beatrice were good, though, I liked the parts with them - their interactions.

And they're going to show us pictures of Macbeth

well we watched that last night

OH!

Hermione!

Hope you enjoyed this commentary by A$ and CSmith (and apparently Hermione). We enjoyed making it!

Maybe this is why I'm tired?

2008-10-28T02:24:00.000-04:00

Because I don't sleep?

Eh -

Mullen's watching the Office in my living room. I can hear her laughing. It makes me happy. :-)

The Office is AWESOME - COME TO ME AND BE CONVERTED!!!

Night.

Autumn Exhaustion

2008-10-25T13:30:00.002-04:00

Hello, I am tired.

Mullen's in town - and I can say that now because she's revealed herself to everyone! Huzzah!

It's also tech-time for PUNCH, so I'm... you know... thrilled.

All I want to do in the Autumn time is SLEEP and drink cocoa and watch movies... not unlike Winter. Now that the leaves have turned and it's suddenly cold and dark in the morning AND late afternoon - I hate being outside or in a place without heating - like our rehearsal room. Now it needs to be the major Holidays all in a row and then April. Because I hate winter. Let's skip it. Or go back to Hibernating - who's with me? Let's get on that.

School? PAH! Business? Pahpah! Maybe it'll pick up the economy if we all go to sleep for 6 months and don't worry about it. Can your food, quit injecting the cows with hormones for perishables, set up an IV and induce your own coma! It'll be awesome! We might all wake up a little more brain-dead and owned by Mexico, but what's a little sacrifice for sleep?

Also, I'm tired, so I'm not making sense anymore.

Also, I wrote all that yesterday and forgot to post it. Brilliant.

Grumble Gurgle

2008-10-20T10:16:00.000-04:00

Well it’s happened. The happiness has dissipated and CSmith is grumbly.
Oh, Folger’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle, there.
But I’ve reached the point on PUNCH. The point where you just want it to effing open already so it will close and you can have a life again, if only briefly.

I’m sick of being in rehearsals and sitting on my ass taking notes and MISSING notes and feeling incompetent though I am, and not secretly, NOT a Stage Manager. Never want to be. Never wanted to be. In my mind, this is a favor for friends and colleagues – practically volunteering my time and effort to a show that I actually do find offensive, though funny.

I’m sick of being tired ALL the TIME, though I can’t blame PUNCH for that entirely. I’m apparently insomniac-ing it up without Andrew here, and everything that goes with that.

I’m sick of rewrites and blocking and technical issues that I wouldn’t normally think about! I reiterate: I NEVER wanted to be a Stage Manager, and this is further proof that I will NEVER do it again. I don’t think this way about things. I don’t! And I don’t want to start.

Ask me to House Manage. Ask me to run the light board. Ask me to perform for you (golly, what a novel concept)! But for heaven’s sake, people, don’t you EVER ask me to Stage Manage. I won’t do it. I will quell my inner struggle and desire to think that this is the only way to remain your friend and tell myself a real friend would still like me as a Theatre Professional even if I refuse to do this one thing for them. And they probably would have.

I thought I’d need something to do with my evenings while Andrew was gone, but I shouldn’t have done this. I have enough now with a new job and Ballet Classes and seeing shows and seeing friends! This is just more and more of my time that I really can’t afford to sell for that little.

BAH! I am so FRUSTRATED!

I am an actor. Not a technician, not a wannabe Jill-of-all-Trades. I like the ONE trade. Ok, the TWO trades (because let’s face it – my job at the Folger rizz-OCKS!) I cannot adapt to this, and refuse to try.

If Stage Management is Oil, then call me Water, baby.

Can I make this any clearer? Or am I beating this dead horse?
One more palpable hit, then: Eff. This.

I should say that I do love the people in PUNCH. The actors are great, and dog&ponydc’s first ladies are excellent and fun. It’s the job itself I loathe. Rather than think creatively, I have to think technically. Rather than see the fun in the blood, I have to see the mess. Rather than even simply enjoying the show, I have to be noting minute technical details and click through a series of cues. L

One more week and then we’re open.
Three weeks after that it’s done.
Two weeks after that and I’ll be in Europe, escaping all of this mental inadequacy and lethargy.

Don't you Forget About Me!

2008-10-14T19:09:00.002-04:00

I know I haven't written in awhile. Here's life:

I love my job.

I like saving money.

In order to save more money, I decided to take the Bus.

In order to take the bus, I have to get up at 6:30am.

Then from the end of the bus-line at Archives, I walk a mile to work (hot!)

I sleep on the bus sometimes.

Then after work I walk a mile back to the bus.

The bus takes about an hour to get back to Silver Spring in rush hour traffic.

I gave myself ONE day a week to take the metro - saves time.

I also gave myself a "rainy day" clause for one day out of every week.

When I woke up last Monday at 6:30am, I thought it was raining because it was still dark.

I hate winter. I hope winter doesn't come this year!

I have to plan the Birthday at work. This causes heart palpitations when I hear "Birthday," "Party," or "Planning."

Andrew's in Detroit.

I miss him terribly.

I didn't buy an outside meal for 5 straight days last week! Weekends, I let myself.

Butternut Squash Ravioli from Lean Cuisine is DELICIOUS!

Hermione fell asleep on my face last week.

I spent all of yesterday in the company of friends. It was wonderful! Oo-de-lally!

I miss Andrew.

Rehearsals are happening. I am dying.

Haven't been sleeping lately. Sucks.

BUT I found ALL of Kings Quest VI on Youtube. Awesome.

Sick Weekend

2008-09-29T13:01:00.004-04:00

Hello, no I'm fine and dandy!

Andrew, unfortunately, was not. We found out Saturday morning (after 3 or 4 days of a high fever) that he has pneumonia! Wahoo! WOWIE ZOWIE! No.

Now, he was supposed to leave yesterday for his latest 9-week stint in Detroit, but as you can guess that didn't happen. No, he's leaving tomorrow instead! Boo.

This is how we spent our weekend. We hit up Blockbuster... hard:

305:

A cross parody of 300 and The Office. Wait wait wait, you say, surely that's total CRAP. I mean, LOOK at those guys!

Yes, look at them. And then watch this movie! I mean it. I was totally sure that I would get through the first 5 minutes and then turn it off in disgust and wonder why we had agreed to rent it. But no. 88 minutes later, I was still laughing my ass off.

It's a decent (and hilarious) plot, well-parodied acting, and very impressive artistic direction for the budget. Rent it. And then buy it. I swear, I haven't laughed harder! Well, until...

In Bruges:

Going into this, I wasn't all that familiar with the writer/director Martin McDonagh. Now it doesn't surprise me that he also wrote Lt. of Inishmore currently running at Signature (which I have friends working on, and whose London production went through 5 or 6 gallons of blood per show!)

The writing is brilliant. Of course, Irish accents are hard to follow, so you really have to pay attention. You love these guys, you really do! Which makes this movie that much harder to watch. Brendan Gleeson is amazing, of course.

Can't get better than a potential shoot-off in a residential little B&B where the owner refuses to get out of the way. Unwilling to injure her, both men (Colin Farrell, and a delightfully creepy Ralph Feinnes) resolve to take it outside. "Promise?" "Yeah, of course I promise." "When I go outside, which way do I go, left or right?" "You go right dammit, it's a huge fucking canal!" "On the count of three then." "Right." [awkward pause] "Who's counting, you or me?" HILARIOUS! Oh, but there's blood. LOTS and LOTS of blood. Beware!

Then, Leatherheads. All I can say was it was definitely what it was. It was cute, it was a period flick, and it was about the birth of professional football. Other than that it was a tad uninspired and flat. Who casts John Krasinski as someone you're not supposed to like?! Can't happen. Sorry, but it wasn't the greatest we watched.

We were going to end the evening with 21:

All in all, not a bad flick. It also delivered what it promised: Blackjack in abundance, the story of a poor smart kid who cashes in on a talent, his criminal professor, and intrigue, and sex. Wouldn't be a nice Vegas flick without sex, huh? Sure.

Anyhoodle, I thought it was flat as well. Tad predictable. Not that exciting for me. But dontcha love looking at Jim Sturgess? I do.

Well, we did end the evening with it. And then went back for more.

Juno, I'd already seen. So I fell asleep to it while we camped in the living room eating ice cream and animal crackers (great weekend, did I mention?)

Finally, after some work for me (last time at WSC!), and a Redskins win for Andrew, we watched the last movie of the weekend.

Hot Fuzz:

I had heard that this movie was very good. And I loved Shawn of the Dead, so I was all sorts of ready for this... I thought...

First of all, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are just about the best buddy pair ever. They play off each other so well, even if the relationship was a bit too familiar from Shawn. And the plot. Slightly.

However, this semi-parody of Cop-Buddy films (which they openly admit in references to Point Break and Bad Boys II... repeatedly) is the funniest thing we watched all weekend. Yes, more shock-blood-humor. But the twist was (for me) so VERY unexpected I didn't know what to do but keep laughing. I did not stop laughing for the last 45 minutes of the movie. Wonderful.

So that's that. Back to work, Andrew leaves tomorrow, etc.

But a whole lotta movies just made my new Netflix queue!

New Job!

2008-09-24T00:13:00.003-04:00

Hello!

I'm not drowning! Although my first two days were WHIRLWINDS of information, (AND I still haven't learned HALF of my duties!) I'm OK! I'm happy. So so so very happy. I smiled for no reason on the way home today. Right before some taxicab decided that a pedestrian walkway was his to infiltrate with his car, so I had to flip him the bird. It's hard to do with just one finger and no wings (haha, Tolmie) sigh.

Because my new job starts at 9am and because I take the metro to Union Station and because that also appears to be the landing place for HALF OF DC AT 9AM I have been witness to something I can only describe as a metropolitan phenomenon: METREXODUS.

METREXODUS is the phenonmenon in which the sardine car you were sitting comfortably in a moment ago discharges about a gazillionty people at your stop, only to be met with a gazillionty more coming from the opposite direction. These are met with yet another gazillionty people getting off the MARC trains. Then, ALL OF THESE THREE GAZILLIONTY PEOPLE TRY TO CROSS THE STREET IN THE SAME DIRECTION! HOW DO THEY DO IT?!?!

I do not know. All I know is I hate taxicabs. And metrobuses. But so far no one person has pissed me off in transit.

In honor of my new job, I'm working my way back through my books based on characters from Shakespeare (shelf #4). I just finished Ophelia by Lisa Klein for the second time, and I am still rather impressed with it as a novel. Very well done, and one of my favorites. I'm on Grace Tiffany now, and then back to some of the more adult versions before allowing myself the fluff fantasy trilogy. Yay!

Also, PUNCH is a hootinanny so far! This is such a physically able and comedically perfect cast! I think this is going to be awesome! Don't forget to come out and get drunk and watch them fling fists at each other! www.dogandponydc.com

Last Day at STC

2008-09-18T13:41:00.002-04:00

Wow, you know... you hope and you pray and eventually the right thing happens.

Today is my last day at STC. Tomorrow was supposed to be, but... well... it's not anymore!

There will be much drinking tonight in celebration. Not like DRUNK drinking, but social celebratory toasting and raising of the glass of Cider or Magarita... depending on which bar you find me at.

So. I am a little nervous about my new job. This is BIG for me! New career (one I actually like) and new people (sort of) as well as a whole new set of responsibilities and duties. WICKAWOWIEWOW! Can't wait. Monday. Whew.

Ummm, and I got a haircut, back to bangs. I liked it on day one (Tuesday) but now I don't like it at all. It looks boyish and amateur... oh well, it'll grow out. At least it's a change! I can't do this all the time. But my next show doesn't perform until late January, so there's plenty of time to grow them to a manageable length before then. Schwah.

Annnnnd I did the stretch class again last night... for some reason I am stiffer now than before. Shouldn't STRETCH be making me more pliable? Hmmm. Hey, Becca, maybe you should move out here and we can take class together! Haha! That would get us into a LOT of trouble, just like the good ol' days at Dance Conservatory. Man, I love not going pro! MYB is a little intimidating because their alumni are apparently incredible. Just so you know. But my classes have thus far not been intimidating.

Pandora Radio. Rocks.

PUNCH - nothing much to report yet except that I feel good about the show! Come see it in November! BLOOD! eat.fuck.kill.

A Balletic Adventure

2008-09-16T12:39:00.002-04:00

After much talking about it, and thinking about it, and planning to do it, I DID IT! I took my first Ballet Class in 5 years!

I am so sore...

Anyway, last Wednesday I took a stretch class to sort of feel out where my muscles were at as far as range of motion. Though my extension has definitely gone WAY down (I can't lift my legs as high anymore), my flexibility isn't that bad, and while I ached all over the next day, I knew it was nothing that I couldn't handle.

Because I'll have Monday nights off for the next couple of months, I decided to try the Adult Advanced Beginner class (because I'm not sure where my skill level is, even if my body's ok). It turned out to be a little more challenging than I thought, but all of the students are in about the same boat as me. We aren't looking to go pro (a welcome change from my childhood), we just want to be in shape, and we have some dance background. It was a small class, 9 people, and the teacher was the same as from my stretch class last Wednesday. There was one glissade, jete combination that we all effed up so badly on that all she could say was "wow..." From my perspective, it was played too fast, and should have been slowed down for the level we're at right now.

Tomorrow I'm going to do Stretch again since I'm free, and since it's probably a good idea to keep my muscles stretched between Mondays. I'm going to buy a 10-class pass for the next six months, which will motivate me to continue returning.

However, I need at least one new leotard, new canvas ballet shoes, and perhaps some rehearsal shorts to cover my ass. I will say one thing: you can definitely tell that I am not the same dancer, physically. I am much thicker in the hips and thighs, which is not helpful for turnout or proper positioning... but I'll get there. This will be good. AND it's social! The girls in my class were all REALLY nice, and non-judgemental.

Maryland Youth Ballet = good place to be! Also, it's RIGHT across the street from my apartment. Good call.

What Am I Going to Blog About?

2008-09-15T17:09:00.004-04:00

Ummm, so I usually use this as an anger outlet... now I'm not angry... I'm... dare I say it?... HAPPY.

Sure, I've been happy before, but those posts haven't been nearly as much fun. Angry posts can be funny, like this: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/rnr/838374600.html (yeah, that's mine!)

Now... well I have less than a week left at STC, and 2 with WSC (and I'm working EXTRA hard for them right now so that everything they could possibly need this season is RIGHT THERE.)

Then... I am officially down to one job! Well, maybe 2. Barbara's not ready for me to completely sever ties with the Gift Shop yet, and frankly neither am I! Also, quitting my other jobs means taking a $2k a year paycut, so the extra $$ can't hurt!

I just don't know what to do with myself... I'm going to have a job I really like doing. It's hours are 9-5 M-F every week (except for some special events). I like the people who work there. It's worthy of my education level. Etc, etc, etc...

:-)

thanks for all the congratulatory messages, by the way. So far everyone's been very nice and happy for me. I guess I was pretty clearly unhappy for the past year, huh?

Also, lee convinced me to do the Non-Equity cattle-call auditions this past weekend. I had fun. I made 'em laugh, I cried, I spent $150 on printing 25 copies of my headshot and 7 were returned... good day!

I GOT IT!!

2008-09-12T16:42:00.002-04:00

H'OMG

I'm still a little shakey and it's been an hour.

I got the job at the Folger.

As of Monday, September 22, I am the Administrative Assistant in Education.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!

Oh Graphjam... You know me...

2008-09-11T14:48:00.003-04:00

http://graphjam.com/2008/09/11/song-chart-memes-important-phone-call/

waiting waiting waiting

OH, except that last Friday when they said "we'll let you know early next week," what they REALLY meant was "you can wait and wait and wait while we laugh maniacally knowing your fate."

CALL NOW!

Ah, Isn't it Nice to Know that Hardcore Conservative Ignoramuses Can Still Be Scared Off?

2008-09-10T17:39:00.002-04:00

Actual Quote from today's Exchange Pile:

"My wife and I are celebrating our 58th anniversary on September 16th. We were looking forward to traveling 300 miles to see "Romeo and Juliet" in remembrance of our undying love. Now we learn that it's become "Romeo and Romeo." Thanks, but no thanks, to our renewing our subscription next year. Further, we have a case against you for false advertising, and feel entitled to a full refund of our subscription, because we can't anticipate your future surprises, and can't afford to continue funding your nonsense."

After laughing uproariously for about 5 minutes, we recalled that this is not the first conservative ignorant reaction we've had to the Elizabethan All-Male Romeo & Juliet. There are more...

"This concept is just STUPID."
"So, what, is this some sort of GAY Shakespeare?"
"You should be ashamed."

Yep. I feel so ashamed that the theatre I work for is open minded enough to try concepts and stagings that challenge the perceptions and minds of its audience instead of just putting another well-spoken girl in a pretty dress and saying "GO!" I'm actually proud of this, even though it's a little gimmicky, because it's outside the expected realm our audience is used to.

So congrats, ignorants, your complaints are getting you nowhere but at the bottom of my concern-pile. No one cares that you're an idiot. Thanks.

Thoughts While STILL WAITING

2008-09-09T15:35:00.004-04:00

Pumpkin Spice Latte - first time trying it, it's very good! I might actually like coffee one of these days!

I'm too busy. There's too much to do. Then I don't have a life again. Damnit.

Call callcallcallcallcallcallllll me. Call me now. Call me soon now. Call meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I miss Longacre Lea. :-(

I made a good closing night gift, though, I made a crossword (since everyone did crosswords in the shop during the show) and most of the clues were inside jokes or names from this summer.

Making crosswords is HARD.

The Office is still spectacular.

I miss everyone. Becca, Mullen, Erica, Dre, Erin, Melissa... in other countries or states. :-(

COMMENTARY!

CALL ME PLEASENOW CALL ME YOU SAID YOU WOULD CALL ME DAMMIT CALL NOW CALLLLLLLL ME!

go away.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/07/magazine/07awareness-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=3 - great article. seriously read every page.

They didn't call today...

A Renaissance Adventure!

2008-09-03T15:04:00.004-04:00

Man, I've been so angry lately that I TOTALLY forgot to update about Renn Faire!

I went!

On Sunday, Andrew and I woke up around 8, took care of the Berrys' cats, got coffeed drinks, and headed on out to Crownesville!!!

I didn't dress UP, per se, but I did wear my Renn shoes, my Renn Posie, and my peasant top from high school... which got uncomfortable after 20 minutes, so I had to buy a real peasant top from one of the Renn stores. It's Peach. And nice. So ok.

We walked around a lot, watched JOHNNY FOX: King of Swords (one of our faves), LONDON BROIL: Comedy and Juggling Together at Last (awesome, and new to us), two HACK AND SLASH shows (favorites!), Skum Macbeth in 20 minutes or less (20:01:58 actually), a Glassblowing demonstration, and the Joust of course.

Along the way we bought Turkey legs and Hunter Sandwiches, Cheesecake on a Stick, Blended Fruites, Fresh Tea for me, Honey Sticks, and other snacks I might be forgetting.

Andrew played Knife Tossing, Star Throwing, and Battle-Axe tossing.

We bought our family crests from Ireland (to frame in our living room), and catnip for Hermione.

After the joust, we came home! It was good. We hid the catnip right away, but there must have been some smell in my bag left because Hermione went bonkers all over it! And the Berrys' cats (when we went to their apartment to feed them) also took their turns loving my bag. It was pretty funny.

Ahhhh I love Ye Renne Faire. We're looking into going to Detroit a day early (together) so we can visit the one up there (reportedly BIGGER than MD, and apparently that weekend is CHOCOLATE WEEKEND! FREE CHOCOLATE!) So I'm all over that...

I should be ignored...

2008-09-02T17:28:00.001-04:00

Well, no, but, yeah, I, um, it's, yeah...

Sorry.

Still angry about the way I'm treated, but I shouldn't let it all out here. It should go into the many (many) MANY rough drafts of my resignation letter.

Oh, and it will.

:-)

Professional Behavior

2008-08-30T17:42:00.002-04:00

I have been pretty mean, lately, but this week I was productive. I made Google Spreadsheets for the whole season at my theatre, which will make everyone's life easier.

Will I be thanked? Appreciated? Lauded?

No.

I will be berated, chastised, and interrogated as to why these could get done (while I'm sitting at ANOTHER job, mind you) and not be calling each new subscriber or coming all the way to the theatre to enter new people.

Here's why: you didn't effing give me the letter until 3 weeks before the show we are currently running began! YOU waited until the last show closed to even send me a DRAFT and then allowed a 30-chain email to make minor corrections and DIDN'T SAVE A NEW DRAFT! THEN when the mailing wasn't to your liking, you martyred yourself AGAIN to do it yourself (though the only person who heard me complain when I had to do it by MYSELF was Andrew (and probably Melissa)). Now you think I have the time to call each and every new subscriber? HA! Yeah effing right.

For your information, I have been EMAILING them and am STILL trying to clean up the mess from the years and records before me. Which I don't see you correcting. Nope.

One more time: You better appreciate what you've got while you have it. I truly do love and appreciate the theatre, but I will not be treated like some 16 year old shithead who doesn't know what they're doing. I know what I am worth, and it is more than what you can offer if that's how you're going to treat me.

Grow up. Take responsibility for YOURSELF, and then, MAYBE we can talk again. Til then, consider us DONE.

Crappy CRAPPY Day

2008-08-26T17:56:00.002-04:00

Ignore This Post.

Fucking Phones at Fucking STC Fucking went OUT again only THIS TIME, we had to UPROOT and go to EATERN MARKET to get on DIFFERENT phones that STILL WEREN'T WORKING.

WHY DOES GOD HATE THIS JOB AS MUCH AS I DO?!? I don't NEED more motivation to leave!

CSmith: Person or Welcome Mat?

2008-08-25T15:59:00.004-04:00

Sorry if this post seems totally out of character, but this struck me today:

Do I Let People Walk On Me?

Yes. Yes I do.

I might as well have a fake plastic daisy attached to my forehead, and spiky astro grass on my ass for people to wipe the crud from their feet.

I want all of my friends to love each other, but they seem to refuse to do that. This friend is mad at that friend and that friend holds a grudge against this friend and this close friend doesn't include that new friend and... blah. It's everywhere and I'm tired of putting myself in the middle of it. Of course, the alternative is to have to CHOOSE between my friends! That's not fair! Just effing GET ALONG! I love all of you, why can't you all love all of you?!?

Maybe I'm not as matted in my professional life, but I still allow myself to be taken advantage of. Oh, everyone needs lunch/drinks/baked goods? Ok, I can get that! Oh, we need a full calendar and everyone's conflicts need to be on it and they're allowed to change them at will? ON IT! Oh, you say you need this mailing done NOW when I asked for it 4 weeks ago and now you need me to do it overnight but are refusing to pay for the Kinko's service it took to get your fucking letter done?!? OH?!!? OK!!!!

I know what I need:
Folger - Education Assistant Job - 3 weeks or less from now.
$50,000 - prize money or SOMETHING - 1 year. I give it One Year. Come on, Universe!
Break - weeklong - 4 weeks or less from now.
Harmony - between everyone I know. NOW.

At least one of these things needs to happen or I might actually flip the proverbial shit and "go postal" as they say. Just saying.

Where's CSmith Been?

2008-08-21T13:30:00.002-04:00

Well,

Private Sale at STC has begun. Which means that subscribers can call us up this week to change dates, buy extra tickets, or just bitch to their hearts' content.

Luckily it's mostly just been the first two things.

Today, I am alone at Harman with one Supervisor, and there is ONE other associate at the Lansburgh with one supervisor. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. Everyone else called out. DUMB!

But I had an interview at Folger yesterday, preliminary, and I had fun. I think it went well. Definitely felt the love vibe, unlike the time I interviewed for Registrar and felt mixed vibes. I have to wait until the Director of Education comes back from vacation in a couple of weeks for my second interview.

AND

I'm in a show!!! With a different company!!! That I earned through my own merits and not just because I work for the company because I don't work for the company and not that anyone who does doesn't have merits but this is my first show in Professional Theatre NOT at WSC, where I work.

Whew.

So I'm 4 people: Constable Blastoff, Chief of Police, The Locksmith's Wife (who has an AWESOME monologue in Act 4), and Boskedin's Wife. I am SUPER excited! I actually auditioned, was a "definitely yes," and get to play characters!!!

Speaking of Character Acting: I saw Sarah Marshall in Maria/Stuart at Woolly on Monday, and she is my new goddess. BLASPHEMY IS OK!!! She was AMAZING! Not that the rest of teh cast wasn't, but I did feel kinda bad for them once in awhile having to try to match her energy and charisma... which they couldn't. Great play, though, too! Very engaging. And we were a very good audience!

Ummmm, damnit the phone rings... bye!

Wow, Dilbert, Way to Get Life

2008-08-13T10:27:00.001-04:00

WHOA internet!

2008-08-12T11:07:00.002-04:00

Hello, real internet! How are you? I'm fine. Sorry I've been ignoring you in favor of my iPhone and a busy life.

Update:
My audition for Journeyman went REALLY well.
Longacre Lea is in the home stretch, and I feel the happy-family feelings.
The weather is GORGEOUS.
An Education position opened at the Folger YESTERDAY (thanks for the tip, Glenn) so that's applied for.
Wii Fit = AWESOME.
Andrew and I painted our living/dining area. It looks really good. Come see!

I'm just sleeping better (I think), trying to eat better, working out every day (yay WiiFit!), and feeling more and more confident! I'm really hoping that the Folger doesn't take this one as slowly as they did the Registrar position. I find it interesting that about 3 weeks after I made a deal with myself and the Big Man that I would wait for an Education position to open up somewhere, this goes and happens... sign? let's hope so!

Anyway. HAPPY TODAY!

My Boring Life in Rotation

2008-07-30T13:30:00.002-04:00

8:00 - wake up
8:40 - really wake up and decide it's too late to take the bus.
9:15 - metro to work
9:45 - work
11:00 - Starbucks
2:00 - lunch
5:55 - itch to leave
6:00 - RUN AWAYYYY
6:30 - arrive sweaty to LL rehearsal
10:30 - slough to metro
11:30 - arrive home
1:00 - sleep
REPEAT!

That's my life. My Saturdays WERE free, so I filled them... I can't seem to help myself. Shows to see, auditions to attend, social gatherings with Andrew's family...

[MUSH ALERT] However, this past weekend was wonderfully blank but for a rehearsal and a party. Everything else that was scheduled was skipped or rescheduled so I could have 2 blissful days of companionship with my boy. We went grocery shopping. We slept til noon. We made an amazing dinner together: Orange Glazed Salmon with Green Beans and Garlic Crusted Potatoes. We had a "family" dinner. We saw a movie that sparked a fight. We had ice cream. We made up. Simple. Sigh.

No, seriously, Stepbrothers was so UNFORTUNATELY bad we actually had a fight. Normally, you go in to Apatow/Ferrell movies expecting to coast on low brain waves, but this... this was pretty much insulting. The humor is appropriate for ages... well it's not. take out the overuse of geriatric "fuck" and the male anatomy the movie would be great for ages 12-14. Seriously. Anyone above that age is insulted, anyone below it is still too young. Come on, Apatow, learn how to edit! I love your work, but EDITING IS ACTUALLY OK!

Sorry. Yeah. Back to the grind... of nothing...

My Crazy Awful Dream

2008-07-23T12:41:00.002-04:00

This is a few days later, too, so...

So it's Thanksgiving. Andrew and I are making the usual rounds of ALL the dinners we have to go to for the Holiday.

We end up at a house that my brain just labels "Theatre House" because it is populated with a lot of people I know from DC Theatre. It's more like a party, so we have a couple of drinks and walk around the house talking to people. We pass a couple of homeless people in corners, and one, a Japanese man, sticks in my mind. But we ignore them.

Eventually everyone falls asleep (literally, drop where they stand), but because we weren't partying as long/as hard Andrew and I sit on a couch to talk. All of a sudden this kitana is sticking through Andrew's stomach coming from behind him, and stops centimeters from my own. I should have been skewered too, but I wasn't.

I'm screaming, and Andrew falls over dead, and from behind the couch the Japanese homeless guy rises, looking grim. He doesn't look at me, he just wipes his blade, turns, shoots a couple of people lying on the floor (no one's waking up), and reaches the door. I scream at him, and in response he aims a gun at me and fires.

The sound effect from Red Noses when we all get shot is what I remember, and I move as though I've been shot. But I look down and see that I am intact. I am fine. I begin to scream again, I don't want to be fine. I'm screaming "WHY! WHY!?!" But he is gone.

Cut to me with my head in my hands, being comforted by a few of the survivors, including Kathleen who is doing real comforting. I know it can't be real, that Andrew should be fine, so in my dream I am texting him "Tell me you're ok. Please call me." But he doesn't respond.

I'm more and more freaked out. Oh, and at this point in the dream my brain tells me that I am pregnant. And no one's offering any real comfort, they all put on a pity-face and ask "so are you keeping the double bed or are you going to get a single?" And I scream "What kind of Dumb Question is THAT?!"

The first thing I did when I woke up was checked Andrew's stomach for marks. He's fine. Needless to say, I'm still a bit freaked out by this dream, that its reality lasted that long, and that there was no succor for me.

Quick Update

2008-07-22T15:11:00.002-04:00

Last Wednesday was Andrew's Birthday (yay!) so we had ice cream cake and tequila at McGinty's.

I stood in for an actor in last week's rehearsal, and another actor paid me a cool compliment: "you know how Rorschach has the thing in their contract that 'at any time, anyone can be replaced by sock puppets.'? Well we've got you." Awwww.

Dark Knight = AMAZING. I need to see it again, this time without covering my eyes.

Andrew's in DE, which is silly. Because I'm from DE, so why is he in DE? Designing for Delaware Shakespeare Festival. humph.

My job is tedious (hence the blogging).

I've got a LOT to do in order to be a working actor.

I was offered the SM position for Dog and Pony's next show, PUNCH! Because I love those people I can't wait!! It'll also fill up my time while Andrew's away, and rehearsals are across the street from my apartment, and performances are down the street from work, so... easy! Yay!

Girls' Night with Summit 522 was awesome! I miss those ladies.

The Show ended... I flipped out on Saturday night because it was HOTTER than it had EVER been, the audience was large but DEAD quiet, and whining that THEY were hot! Jerks. I almost took my leg down! I think the phrase "fuck your fuck!" escaped me... Sunday was nice. We had almost no audience again, so we made it OURS. "Mudbutt" got slipped in anywhere possible, we did and said things we had always WANTED to during performances, but had stuck to rehearsed for the sake of the show. Last show was totally OURS. And it sucked saying "see ya" to quite a few people. I actually did love the cast...

Onward and Upward!

God Spoke to me through Kathleen Akerley and Josh Groban

2008-07-16T10:22:00.002-04:00

Don't laugh. Ok, but you can laugh it's kinda funny.

Preface this with my "crisis" last week.

During a 5 minute break last night, everyone had gone outside or to the restrooms, so I danced. Nothing fancy, just elongations and stretches and one turn. Kathleen "caught" me doing it. She didn't mock or anything, she just said, "you were dancing."

I explained that it had been a HUGE part of my life, so especially since I'm all in Boutros now, it's coming out more and more how much I miss doing it. She asked how long I had, and I told her: 15 years. Ages 2-17. Of course, the natural question after that is "why did you stop?"

It wasn't only the politics and the body image by that time. You know, in my senior year of high school I was cast in the same roles in the Nutcracker that I had been in as a freshman. That was it for me. I would continue to take a couple of classes a week, and teach, but I was done. I had realized that Dancing was "no longer freeing." I had never used that phrase before, but there it was.

Kathleen pointed out that my experience with Acting had been much the same at Catholic, "as a freshman you take the roles you get because, you know, that's what you get. But as a senior you deserve much more consideration, and your department should be helping you." I thought for a second, and said that by then, by senior year of college, I knew it was a lot of politics and image, it is that way in this world. But acting, with VERY few exceptions for me, is still freeing. It still feels good to do.

After what was a successful rehearsal of Theories (for me), I walked up the Hartke stairs to go to the metro. In full view of that amazing Basilica, I pressed shuffle on my iPod and Josh Groban's You Are Loved began to play.

Don't give up. It's just the weight of the world. When your heart's heavy I - I will lift it for you.

I thought over everything I've been thinking for the past week in light of tonight's epiphanies. How I love acting. How I loved dancing. How hard it is to do what you love because of the restrictions and conditions the world places on it. How much easier it would seem to just let it go.

Don't give up. Because you want to be heard If silence keeps you I - I will break it for you

How easy it is to stay quiet and small, and how hard it is to break out of myself and be LOUD.

Don't give up. Because you are loved

About 20 paces from Hartke I burst into tears. Not sad or happy just emotional. It was so easy to walk away from Ballet because it hurt me, but I still long for the freedom of dancing. Would it be so easy to leave theatre behind now? Would I want to? Or would I spend my life regretting not having REALLY tried?

Don't give up. Because you are loved

I have family. I have friends... MANY MANY friends who know what I'm thinking and understand and can help. I don't see these things until I'm literally bowled over by them. I can't give up because it's easy. I need to try.

And I will.

My Cat is the Cutest Thing Ever

2008-07-14T17:03:00.003-04:00

Boring-Post about how much I love my little furball-'o-crazy, aka Hermione, aka Babygirl...

She hides in/next to anything. Gasp, a pencil on the floor! Hunker down! They can't see you now, and then you can eat their TOES!!!

She flips the EFF out over greenies. Like gets up in your face and makes noise and runs in circles. drugmedrugmedrugmedrugme!

She chases her own tail, yowling death screams at it. Once, her tail won... Who... the...heck...are...you?!?!?

She hangs out at the window by my bed and chuffs insults to the birds hanging out in the trees. I might not be able to get the one that lives in here... but if YOU ever come in here I'll totally bite your head off!

She is learning not to stalk/kill/pounce on/otherwise annoy Bill... sloooooowly... she got him once, which was scary. It left Bill solemnly quiet for three days while he realized his middle-age and decided to remain the same ol' lovable asshole.

She LOVES table scraps. She once jumped up and hung from the table by her claws for enchiladas. RANCHO SAAAAUUUUUUCE!!!!

She is so much friendlier! She approaches people now. When we moved in she hid under my bookshelf for hours. Now that she knows she's queen of the kingdom, she loves sniffing out newcomers. In the middle of a conversation on Friday, she walked straight up Dad to sniff his mouth. I don't know what halitosis is, but my friend, you gots it!

She sleeps next to me at night to wait for my alarm to tell me to feed her. I'll wait... you just sleeeeep it off... however your fingers will start to look delectable around 8.

I love her, she is my darling little girl with an amazing name (if I do say so myself).

My Life is FGNRBG :VFNB

2008-07-14T11:11:00.003-04:00

So you know, FGNRBG :VFNB means TOOOO BUSY of course, but I'm having SOME fun!

So I took Friday off of both jobs because my rents were coming into town. That morning, Andrew and I got up early (for us) and went to wait in line at the ATT store at Montgomery Mall. What were we waiting for?

OUR BRAND NEW IPHONE 3G-S BABY!!!

Ahem, so yes. CSmith now has a new iPhone (iPuck) and a new number. So ha! This from the chick that went to the Verizon store just one year ago and INSISTED on a no-fringe phone. MWAHAHAHA. Of course, this means I will be paying half of the phone bill now, so... oh well. It's TOTALLY worth it! AFNEDVGSWNBH (translation: I am so excited I can't possibly put into words or actions how awesome having this thing makes me feel. I'm sorry I have friends green with envy...)

Mom and Dad came in around 3, and I met them at their hotel where we caught up. Their hotel was right down the street from my apartment, which was a good idea. We took the metro to Pentagon City for dinner (CPK) and then they saw the show.

THEY LOVED IT! Dad laughed pretty much the whole time, and Mom tittered, even at the sex jokes. The cast was really happy to have them there. I explained that Dad pretty much raised me on BritCom, so this was HIS kinda show. Dad said that even if I wasn't in it, they would have loved it! Thanks, Dad! I think!

Late dinner with Andrew at Austin Grill. Bed by 2.

UP REALLY EARLY Saturday for breakfast at Eggspectation with my parents. Also good. I spent the morning hanging out with them, and talking. After I RANTED (which I feel so bad for) about STC and the phones, I explained my fears from the previous post to them, and they got nervous for me. Basically, they just don't want me to give up because it's easier to give up. They want me to do whatever it is that I want to do. But I need to figure out what that is! I should delete that post, because I'm not even sure it applies...

So on the downer note, Mom and Dad hit the road for home, and Melissa picked me up for a double show day. Lunch with Mel, Heather, and Ellie was at CPK, which was awesome.

So yeah. One more weekend of the show. Rehearsals for Longacre Lea... well apparently last Friday the scene and actors I had put down on the schedule were all confused so I should be prepared for glaring and shunning tonight... don't know that I'm ok with that...

buttever, time for things... like PLAYING WITH MY iPHONE!!!

Ink Me!

2008-07-09T16:06:00.005-04:00

I want a tattoo of the stick figure from this painting. Star Dance by Alfred Gockel.

In searching for Dance posters a few years ago, I stumbled upon Gockel's collection of Dance Paintings:

Sun Dance, Moon Dance, and Heart Dance.

Searching for these again later, I found two other paintings that echoed thoughts from my mind.

Uplifted Heart, and Unicyclist with Flowers

I am able to associate each of these paintings with ACT (star) SING (hearts) DANCE (moon) LAUGH (flowers) LIVE (sun) LOVE (heart).

Originally I wanted to get the letters ASD tattooed in some artistic form, but after I found all of these paintings I changed my mind. I then wanted all of the symbols from these paintings, in color, around a single stick figure. I realize this might be too complicated, and the tattoo artist (even if he's good) might not be able to duplicate them to my satisfaction. Not to mention the cost!

So I've settled on the Star Stick Figure for now, because I'll know what it means, it doesn't have to be big, and it's simple enough that it should translate. I just have to decide where to put it... hip? shoulder? lower back? ankle? wrist? Hmmmm....

Crisis of Faith

2008-07-09T11:41:00.003-04:00

I know I know, why ruin a perfectly happy upbeat blog with some downer entry about life and adulthood and change...

...what blog have you been reading?

Here's the Deal: I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I enjoy acting. I love working in theatre (in a creative capacity).
BUT
In order to do so, you must be ok with a little butt-kissing, a little schmoozing, and a little shameless self-promotion. And by a little I mean a LOT.

I love Andrew, and I love the lifestyle we have now, and have big plans for down the road.
BUT
In order to have these things, one must have money. Money the likes of which cannot be got from a purely artistic career.

AND SO WE COME TO IT

I cannot reconcile my distaste for ass-kissing with the artistic integrity of whatever performances I might be lucky enough to work on in my short time in theatre. I've been trying to write the "hire me" letters to companies I want to work for, and I just can't bring myself to do it. I sound so false to myself! I really do want to work for these people, but not if I have to kiss their or anyone else's ass to do it!

The other problem is that Theatre is SOOOOO Politik. It's all about WHO you know and how others percieve you. One slip, one wrong word at the wrong time, and you might have just shot your own foot off in the theatre community. It's SO close-knit already. It's like trying to break into and become part of a brick wall when you're a straw.

I'm also a young white brunette actress... yeah, one of about 100+ in DC! And my look, while I would say it's "different" isn't going to help me exactly.

PLUS after about 10 years of this work, working a FT job that I don't want to die at, and working as much in theatre as I can, I want to be able to step back, say "that's enough, and that was fun" and have a family with Andrew in Frederick. I want to be able to be proud of my theatrical experience, and not regret ANYTHING I had to do to do it. I also don't want to regret NOT doing it at all!

So as I am in the process of looking for a new job, and wondering what career field I should look into, and knowing that I can't really afford to go to grad school... what do I do?

Do I become a corporate drone? Appreciating the stability, but hating the work?
Do I attempt to become a teacher, taking a few courses and tests for certification while assisting teachers in the area?
Do I stay in the Box Offices, since that's where I am the most skilled?
Do I change career paths entirely?

The thing is, my parents believe that my dream is to be an actor. And at one time it was! I'd rehearse my acceptance speeches in the shower like anyone else. And they're right in that I love to perform. But SHOW BUSINESS is different than THEATRE (which, according to an old professor, ends after college). They would be disappointed if I chose soccer-mom duties over broadway. I think.

So that's where I am. Too busy to be trying to have these thoughts, but in too deep with them now.

My Life is Bored

2008-07-08T17:21:00.003-04:00

Brain died

words no thinkee much no more cant even bothered be to punkchewait is hard to be at work when theres absol- positivity nothingmuch goings on the alternate, golf course, is to be in home and not making moolahmoneymuch

so here i sits thinking over every posslebitty for differences imploymint teach, moore brain-dumming deskworks, applications for more office-boxes even since i dont want to works in office-boxes every again

i am know is better then this jobulousness i has an degree from collage and much exper- prev- has had jobulousnessesssssss afore

save brain!

100 POSTS!!!

2008-07-07T11:15:00.002-04:00

Today is a landmark day. POST #100!!! Wow. I have so many people to thank!

I'd like to thank STC, for providing me with endless aggravations and grievances which could only be aired by blog. Endless.

Zac, Erica, Sonia... you always encourage me to blog at work. YOU make this possible!

Any theatre company that's hired me in the last year, your stories and insights have proved great fodder for blog dissection. WSC, Constellation, Longacre Lea... thank you.

I'd like to thank my mom and my dad for raising me to write about every little thing that bugs me, and Andrew for editing me. Seriously, or else you all would be reading a LOT more bitchiness.

Andrea, Erica, Becca... you comment the most and encourage me to keep in touch with the interwebs. I love you, and MISS you.

Everyone else who reads but lives IN DC, I love you and thank you as well.

And Jesus, who gave Danity Kane the means to record and produce "Damage." Thank you.

PEACE!

The Roller Coaster that Was My Day

2008-07-03T15:33:00.003-04:00

Woke up at 9:20... which is pretty much when the last possible train I could take from Silver Spring and be at work on time leaves. So I was late. (bad)

So I took my time, didn't rush, and still made it pretty much AT 10, just not early. (good)

People are abnormally stupid this week. No, no, PLEASE tell me your life story/ why you want to see this show/ when your mortgage is due. I really do care... NOT. SHUT UP! (bad)

I realized I was being a douche and took advantage of the fact that it's not so busy anymore. AC/JC end this week, and Invalid is already filling up. (good)

Claw got on my case regarding the slowness with which I was tearing tickets. I pondered on the ultimate unimportance of ticket tearing in relation to the well-being of the universe at large. (bad)

I went to Teaism (good!)
Most of my lunch got cold and inedible (bad!)

Melissa shared with me that her job gets crazies too! A woman FAXED in information on her possession by demons who "took her beauty with black magic." (good)

I'm still here (bad).

Infinitely Exhausted,

GOTCHA

2008-06-30T14:41:00.002-04:00

Couple of things:
1) I did post scheduler last week for most of the entries. Only a couple on Thursday were forreals.
2) Mullen, I feel I must admit that I went out and bought the sequels one after the other and am in the middle of the third book, and anticipating (though not on the edge of my seat) the fourth. I ate the waffle. I look forward to seeing the movie with you at Christmastime!

Soooo yeah. Add THESE to the list of things that means Red Noses is curst:
a) Our ASM ran a fever for two shows, one without a voice.
b) Our SM broke her ankle, and is now on crutches.
c) people are still sick.
d) scary pornography-collecting homeless man out back was NOT ok with being arrested.
e) When falling at the end of Act 2, Tom's head collided with MY head. Tom says this was to avoid kicking Evan. Evan is reputed to have repeatedly said the M-play in the theatre. Coincidence?
f) the reviewers aren't being too friendly.

Quotes from the weekend:
"There's a bug in my wimple"
"...that's what the doctor said... at the abortion clinic..." (to replace that's what she said)

And, yeah. 3 jobs and 2 shows and you'd THINK I'd have some stories...

Andrew made me enchiladas last night. And we watched Mrs. Doubtfire. I had a dream that I chased petty cash through water which filled my little brother's room, and Brendan was trying to drown me... then I was headed to Prom, and I wore the dress I had made myself soph year only it was longer and cleaner. Andrew wasn't my date, but we picked up our dates together, his was an actress from my show... then he and I were cooking, but it was pitch black (but we could see by the occasional lightning) and I cut up and squeezed a lemon while he added orange zest and was squeezing the garlic...

Odd, yes?

Ok, I had to just XXX a guy. What a great day at work. Kill me.

I just applied to E.L. Haynes PCS to be a Teacher Aide. Cross your fingers anew!

My Day With The Griffins (and the Pettijohns)

2008-06-27T17:13:00.002-04:00

Sunday was Spencer's Birthday.

Andrew sent me to get Spencer's birthday present. "Just take the metro to the Best Buy at Wheaton and get Mario Kart." Why I didn't say no... I got off at Wheaton and KNEW that Best Buy wasn't exactly close, so I thought I'd try the mall. Target, F.Y.E., and GameStop were all sold out. So I walked through Old Navy to prepare myself for what had to come: I walked to Best Buy... which turned out to be just across the highway, just not where you'd think to go immediately. Andrew had to pick me up from there because after all the Red Noses stuff, I was too beat to try to walk back.

First of all, I had been told we were going to go to Miyako, but wasn't told until we were at Nennen's house that we were going up to the house for a BBQ, that everyone had gone to Miyako the night before without me. I was mad, but I got over it.

Spencer's 11 now, and he's SO MUCH like Andrew it's not even funny. Looks like him, acts like him, I mean WOW.

So we tried to play croquet... but of course Andrew was beating us, so Spencer and i had to try to take him out. Eventually it disolved into RACE Croquet where you could throw your opponents' balls but you had to go get them, and something... no one won.

Then there was dinner which was delicious as usual.

Then Andrew, Spencer and their Dad played the game we got him, Andrew won a lot. I tried and failed as usual.

There were dogs (Roy, of course) and the neighbor's dog Abby. As well as the new cat, Slam, who is a cuddler, and Angie, who is still the devil. Full house.

The Pettijohns came over later to pick up Abby (she spends a lot of time over, anyway), bringing their three youngest with them, Evan (who is Spencer's age), Lena, who must be 7 or 8, and Eric, 6ish. Eric and Lena wanted me to play with them. Race outside, they said, play basketball. Lena is an uncouth and gross young lady, with quite the attitude on her. "Whatever" she'd sneer when I called a foul on her (I reffed instead of playing), and spat on the ground numerous times. She was just nasty. If I ever have a daughter who acts like that, I'm going to "fix" her.

Basically, I'm neutered for now. I don't want to have kids if they aren't respectful and demure... which I know they won't be... so why would I want kids.

Funniest part, though, since I did promise humor: Lena asked me if Andrew was my boyfriend. "Of course," I replied. "Do you kiss?" She asked and giggled. I said, "That's very personal, and none of your business," but I was joking. "I bet you do," she said. "You're right." I said. "I bet you have sex!" she said. "!" I said.

The end.

CSmith's Adventures in DC

A Meditation on Christmas

Office Bitch

Stop Hate

Why I'm Happy

White Bitch

Sooo. I have an Etsy

Day 2 without Facebook

Fictional Friends

I have awesome people

Melissa's Idea

30 by 30

Some Thoughts

Feelin the need...

Catching Up with ... ME!

Unpopular Vote

Dear 2010 (thus far), A Love Note

Dear 2009 (an obscene rant)

Dreams!

Why Adapt Shakespeare?

Twilight Can Suck It

My Essay, by CSmith 11/24/09

I've been Adventuring!

How to tellyour Bird's Gender

Bi-monthly bitch-fest

Booked Up Weekends!

French Bulldog Can't Roll Over

Coolest Day

Annual August AAAUGH

Actorine

Liveblog: Center Stage II: Turn it Up

Dear World, Give Me Money

Wandering Actoriness

What Happen, CSmith?

Serenity helps define my issues:

Mental Note

An Excellent Adventure

Thoughts on Life

Hiii - The Life Is Boring

The DJ Came!

I'm a "Lady of ill Repute" for Shakespeare!

The Debate RAGES!

Romeo, Romeo...

Previous Post

Why Do We Teach Shakespeare?

Thoughts from the Past Few Days

Whoamygoodness! Need an update?

When I Move to NYC

Dear Samuel French

What Do I Do With My Life? A Myriad

Oi'm 'En-e-ry the ATHE oi am, oi am...

With Nice Weather Comes Some Resolution

Trouble With Theatre

In the infamous words of Jekyll and Hyde: Bitch Bitch Bitch!

Hi... It's a New Year

Sheepish Holiday Greetings...

LET IT BEGIN!!!

I was Too Busy

Dream I'm remembering

Person I Hate #436

The Chronicles of Andy and Olive - the Long Distance Puppies

The Down Side to this

An Impulsive Adventure (that pays off for life!)

THOUGHTS

Couple Days Too Late

Shakespeare RE-told: Taming of the Shrew

Shakespeare RE-told: Much Ado About Nothing

Maybe this is why I'm tired?

Autumn Exhaustion

Grumble Gurgle

Don't you Forget About Me!

Sick Weekend

New Job!

Last Day at STC

A Balletic Adventure

What Am I Going to Blog About?

I GOT IT!!

Oh Graphjam... You know me...

Ah, Isn't it Nice to Know that Hardcore Conservative Ignoramuses Can Still Be Scared Off?

Thoughts While STILL WAITING